“Poorly. Very poorly. Poor Chuck. Eventually it got better—but never easier. Especially not when Chuck was ready to have kids. I put him off for nine years.”
“Why?”
“I was so terrified that I’d have a child and it would . . .”
Die.
He stared at her in shock. He knew they were married a decade before starting a family, but he’d never asked why. “What changed your mind?”
“Mom did.” Tears freely spilled down her cheeks. “She said she’d never regret having Michelle even when losing her nearly broke her. Then we talked about the joy Michelle had brought to all of us, even though it was only for a short time.” She sniffed. “Lord, I think I was pregnant the next month.” Renee wiped her cheeks. “Christopher and Becca are such blessings to me now. I can’t imagine my life without them.”
“They seem like good kids.” Not that he’d spent much time with them. He remembered watching Liberty with her nephews and being jealous of her easy, loving relationship with them. He had no idea how he’d ever get that with Chris and Becca since he’d missed a good chunk of their growing-up years.
“What happened in your life that you’re ready to deal with all of this?” Renee asked cautiously.
Thinking of Liberty, he managed a smile. “I met a woman. An amazing woman.”
“And she’s encouraging you to . . . ?”
“Open up about family stuff. I told her about Michelle right after we met.”
Renee raised an eyebrow.
“It caught me off guard, her bein’ so easy to talk to. It’s rare in my life, not knowin’ who I can trust. I have good friends who don’t know that I had a younger sister, let alone lost her. As far as dealin’ with it back then? I just plain cut and run. How I’m dealin’ with it now probably ain’t much better, but in my defense, I’ll say I handle it in my own way.”
“By entertaining kids at children’s hospitals, by donating blood, by being in the bone marrow donation database, by creating and funding the Hollister Foundation that pays for siblings to have outings and sleepovers near the hospital when one sibling is in treatment.”
It was strange to hear his sister speak of those things with such admiration, because they never talked about it. “How’d you hear about that stuff?”
“Mom and Dad. They’re proud of what you do in Michelle’s memory, but they’re afraid if they tell you, you’ll pull away even more.”
Devin snorted. “Is that even possible?”
“Honey, give yourself a break. I know you don’t do any of it for the publicity, and you blush and stammer like you’re doing now if anyone brings it up. But it will get out one of these days, and you’ll have to address the questions about why you do it and why you hid it.”
“I know. I’m ready for that. In the past four months I’ve talked about Michelle more than I ever remember. It’s been . . . good. And Liberty—”
“Wait. Your girlfriend’s name is Liberty? Geez, Devin. Please tell me she’s not a stripper.”
He grinned. He could hardly wait to tease Liberty with that one. “Actually, she’s been my bodyguard.” It felt good to tell Renee everything about how they’d met—including his demand that the former soldier make herself over, which earned him a whap on the arm. Just like old times.
After he finished, Renee said, “She does sound amazing. I can’t wait to meet her.”
“You will.” Devin had a plan to put in place as soon as he returned to Denver. “She’s close to her sisters. They didn’t have it easy growin’ up, but they’re determined to be part of one another’s lives as adults. It’s a good example for me to see what they’ve got and what we’ve been missin’. I wanna change that, Renee. I really do. With you and your family and with Mom and Dad.”
Renee squeezed his hand. “I’m glad.”
“Liberty’s sister Harper lives in Muddy Gap, which is why she took a job in Denver, to be closer to her.”
His sister looked at him with surprise. “Is there a chance you’ll be close by too? Like . . . permanently?”
“If I have my way? Yes.”
“You always get your way.”
Devin grinned. “Yep.”
“God, you’ve been that cocky little shit since you were a kid.” She smiled. “I’ve missed seeing it.”
He smiled back. “You’d better get used to seein’ it again.”
Four days had passed since Liberty had left LA.
Four days that seemed like four thousand years.
She forced herself to keep the appointment she’d made with her realtor, back when she believed looking at houses would keep her mind off Devin.
Ha. Fat f**king chance of that.
Looking at real estate only reminded her of how foolish she’d been in thinking she could focus on the big bonus at the end of the job and not the emotional devastation from leaving the man she loved, who’d been way more than just a job to her from the start.
After her talk with Garrett, where she’d laid it all out, her boss insisted she take the week off to think things through. Quit being a dumb-ass; call Devin; decide what level of commitment you can give him and GSC before you even think about walking into my office.
Yeah. No pressure.
So here she was, trying to act enthusiastic about housing choices, when she wanted to be holed up in her shitty apartment, deciding if she should be buying property in Denver at all, or buying a pair of cowgirl boots to wear on her way to Nashville.