“Mother fuckin’ little cunt will die, a slow, painful death,” Cade barks.
“Cade, lock it up. Let her finish,” Jackson rasps.
Cade’s jaw ticks, but he nods for me to keep going. I rub my hands together, take a deep breath and keep going.
“He protected my mother in a sense; she was his best client. He supplied her with drugs, loads of them, but he held back her cash. If she did something wrong, he wouldn’t pay her. Often we went for up to a week with such a small amount of food, a rat could barely survive. Drugs were the only way either of us could cope. I tried to avoid them as much as possible, and mostly I had the power. When Jasper came over though, it was the only way I could…get through. It was the only way I could deal. Anyway, this went on for years. The same shit, different days. Then Billy came along, he was my boyfriend. He caught Jasper one day, and he just about tore his…parts off. Jasper stayed away after that, but when Billy left, he came back. That day, I tried to kill myself. I took loads of ecstasy, but Jasper got me to the hospital before it did any damage. Things only got worse after that.”
I stop to take a deep breath, and when I look up, both men are completely and utterly broken. I can see it in their faces. Cade is panting, his fists are clenched and there’s blood dripping from his hand. Jackson’s eyes are glassy and red, and he too, is panting.
“Cade, your hand is bleeding,” I say.
“Keep. Talking.”
His voice is firm, but gentle. I nod at him, and push a dish towel over the table. He grips it, and briefly his hand brushes mine. This gives me enough comfort to keep going.
“One day, I got home from the shop, and Mom was having a reaction to an overdose. She was frothing at the mouth, convulsing – I knew she’d taken too much and was going to die.”
Tears begin streaming down my face as the guilt rips through my chest. I heave, and I feel Jackson’s hand grip mine.
“I…I…” I choke out. “I stood there and watched her die. I didn’t even call an ambulance until after she was dead. I let her life slip from her. I hated her so much, that I didn’t even want to save her.”
“Oh, baby,” Jackson rasps.
“Sugar, it ain’t your fault,” Cade says in that gruff but gentle tone.
“It was my fault. I let her die. I should have saved her, but saving her meant I would continue to be trapped.”
“You ain’t to blame,” Cade says again. “What happened after that?”
“I ran. I packed a bag, her gun and I ran. I was in the nearby alley when Jasper caught up to me. He made all kinds of threats, and I lost it. I shot him, right in the crotch. Then I called the police and I told them…”
“What sugar?” Cade encourages.
“I told them he killed her.”
Both men stare at me in shock for a moment.
“That’s why he’s after you?” Jackson says.
“Yes, that and the fact that I blew his penis off.”
“Fuckin’ Christ, sugar, you should’ve told us,” Cade growls.
“I didn’t trust you. I didn’t trust anyone. I was just going to run…”
“He would have found you,” Jackson says. “Cade’s right, you should’ve told us. We can protect you, Addison.”
“I know that now,” I say softly. “But I didn’t then.”
“Well, we have a fairly big problem on our hands now,” Jackson says, standing. “We got an angry pimp who seems determined to get hold of you.”
“What’re you going to do?” I ask.
Jackson turns to me. “I’m going to track him down, then I’m going to blow his fuckin’ brains out.”
My entire body jerks.
“You’ll go to jail,” I say, hearing the panic in my voice.
“No, he won’t, sugar. No one fucks with bikers.”
I turn to Cade. “He’s not a nice man.”
Cade grins, stands and leans over the table. “Let me tell you somethin’, sugar. Neither are we…”
I rub my fingers together, nervously. “What do we do now?”
Jackson gives me a determined look. “You stay at the compound during the day, at night, you’re to have one of us with you at all times.”
“Agreed,” Cade nods.
Are they serious? Oh no, no freaking way. I’ve spent my life with chains on. I’m not going to do it again. Jasper doesn’t scare me, and I will not be imprisoned while these guys overreact.
“No,” I say, crossing my arms.
Both men turn to stare at me. “’Scuse me?” Cade says, his eyes flaring with anger.
“You heard me. I said, no. I’m not going to sit in this house, day in, day out, and spend all my spare time at the compound because of Jasper. He doesn’t scare me and I won’t live my life like that again. I ran away to be free, not to be held down again.”
“Do you have any fuckin’ idea how much time this pimp is putting into finding you?” Jackson hisses.
“I blew his dick off,” I mutter. “Of course I know how much time he’s putting into finding me.”
“You ain’t gettin’ a say so in this, sugar,” Cade says, his voice heavy with anger and frustration. “You will be doin’ as you’re told.”
I slide my chair back, and walk towards the door. “You can’t stop me. I can be careful. What I can’t be is a prisoner.”