Chapter 426 - Neurology and Neuropsychiatry
Translator: BinBin
Editor: EllisBLV13
Disclaimer: Please do not rely on the portrayal of western medicine, Chinese medicine, or the symptoms of mental illness in this novel for any sort of accuracy. This is pure fiction and neither the translator, the editor, or Gravity Tales at large believe, align, or condone the depictions in this novel. We are aware that there are several discrepancies between reality and the actions of the characters and assure you that it is an accurate translation of the original work. If you wish to learn more about any of the topics brought up in this chapter, please do your own research through reputable sources.
“How about you, kid? May I have the honor of being the judge?” Since Xiao Lei had agreed, Ling Qing Yuan turned to Qin Feng and asked for his consent.
From his warm smile, one could see that he held a great interest in Qin Feng.
“Of course, thank you for volunteering, Elder Ling!” Qin Feng said.
Seeing that Qin Feng had consented to allow Ling Qing Yuan to be their judge, Xiao Lei’s smile broadened. Initially, he only wanted to disgrace Qin Feng in front of his students and exact his revenge for the insult he received at the hospital. However, the battle was not going to end lightly as that because Professor Ling Qing Yuan had stuck his nose into their affairs and became the judge of their battle.
Therefore, Xiao Lei now not only wanted to disgrace Qin Feng, but he also wanted to make a name for himself in front of Ling Qing Yuan. If he could earn the respect of Professor Ling Qing Yuan, then his life would sail smoothly afterward at the affiliated hospital.
“Qin Feng, I’m not fond of bullying the new guy, so I’ll let you decide the rules,” Xiao Lei threw a meaningful smile at Qin Feng. It was obvious that he was looking down at Qin Feng.
“Since Director Xiao specialized in western medicine, while I have a fair amount of knowledge of Chinese medicine. How about this: you will examine me with western medicine while I’ll examine yours with Chinese medicine. We’ll see which one of us has the most correct diagnosis of the physical condition of his opponent.”
Qin Feng paid no attention to Xiao Lei’s meaningful smile. As soon as he finished talking, his students were so excited that they danced and gesticulated in joy.
The students all bore the same doubt in their minds. In this era of globalization, western medicine grew as Chinese medicine was falling into decay. All of them loved Qin Feng’s Chinese medicine class very much, but they feared for the prospects of Chinese medicine, so they were looking forward to this battle of between western medicine and Chinese medicine.
“Fine then! Let’s get the ball rolling!” Xiao Lei agreed to the rules without giving it a second thought. He could not wait any longer to defeat Qin Feng.
“Alright, since you’re my younger peer, you go first,” Xiao Lei said.
Qin Feng accepted his courtesy wholeheartedly. He walked toward Xiao Lei and stared at his fat head and large ears for a good while. Suddenly, he frowned.
“Director Xiao’s features are so horrible that it affects my ability to read your face… I guess I should skip the ‘look’ in the look, listen, question, and jump to feeling your pulse instead.”
Qin Feng then began to feel Xiao Lei’s pulse with all seriousness causing Xiao Lei’s face to grow grotesque with a wretched expression while all the students laughed their heads off. Even the corner of Ling Qing Yuan’s and Chang Xin’s mouth quivered a bit. Both of them tried very hard to suppress their laughter.
After 15 seconds, Qin Feng withdrew his hand.
Then, he wiped his hand clean with Xiao Lei’s hem made a disdainful remark, “You should start to keep fit, Director Xiao. You see, my hand was covered with grease after I put my hand on your wrist!”
“Are you through? Do you still want to continue the battle or not?” Xiao Lei almost fainted from his anger when he heard the students once again burst into peals of laughter.
Qin Feng squinted, plastered a fake smile on his face and spoke earnestly, “Please chill, Director Xiao. We, as scholars who have studied the art of healing, must remain calm and collected at all cost no matter the conditions. How can Director Xiao’s thoughts be so easily thrown into chaos after I cracked a few jokes? This is not how a grandmaster in the art of healing should behave!”
Qin Feng teased him, and he could not explode; otherwise, Qin Feng would be right: he wouldn’t have the air of a grandmaster.
Qin Feng was satisfied seeing Xiao Lei’s troubled expression.
Suddenly, he shot a question at Xiao Lei, “Director Xiao, you’ve mentioned that you’re the chief physician for the department of psychiatry, right?”
“Yes, I am!” Xiao Lei glared snappily at Qin Feng before he realized something wasn’t right. His face sank and glowered, “F*ck you! You're the psychiatrist. I’m the chief physician of the neuropsychiatry department!”
The whole lecture hall rocked with laughter. This time, not even Chang Xin who had been pulling a face or the stern Ling Qing Yuan could hold back their laughter.
Qin Feng nodded vigorously and replied, “Oh, oh! So you’re the chief physician of the neuropsychiatry department. Aren’t they the same?”
Xiao Lei finally understood what Qin Feng meant. He was the chief physician of the neurology department. However, Qin Feng twisted the words around and confused him causing him to say the wrong thing.
Xiao Lei had almost been tormented to death by Qin Feng’s shameless and quirky mind before they had even begun the battle.
“Are you here for a talk or to examine my condition? Could it be that because you cannot do it you are deliberately trying to stall for more time by talking?”
“Say it if you cannot do it, and I’ll take my turn promptly!” Xiao Lei shot a disdainful glare at Qin Feng.
Qin Feng held back his jerky smile and turned serious. “I’m done, Director Xiao!
“Something must be wrong with your mental health!”
“F*ck you! You’re the one with a mental issue!” Xiao Lei roared ignoring Ling Qing Yuan and the group of old fogies.
“The onset of mental illness is characterized by being easily irritated, short-tempered, and if left alone for a long period of time without seeking professional assistance, it will induce neurasthenia, weakening of immunity system, and indigestion which in turn causes obesity…
“Besides that, Director Xiao has bad breath, an elevated body temperature, constipation, and hemorrhoids. All of this leads to one answer: you have a mental illness. Director Xiao, you must take care of yourself!”
Xiao Lei stared at Qin Feng in awe.
The symptoms Qin Feng rattled off were half-genuine and half-sham. The mental illness was fake; however, the symptoms of having bad breath, an elevated body temperature, constipation, and hemorrhoids were all true.
“You… bullsh*t!” Xiao Lei’s face blushed red.
How could he make it public in front of so many people? It’s so embarrassing!
“I might be wrong. Anyway, we have Elder Ling as our judge. Just let Elder Ling examine you. Then, we’ll know if I am the real deal or not,” Qin Feng countered indifferently while shrugging his shoulders.
Cold sweat instantly streamed out from Xiao Lei’s body. Ling Qing Yuan was the spearhead of Chinese medicine in the medical college, so Xiao Lei believed that Ling Qing Yuan would be able to see the symptoms with a glance.
“That’s not necessary. Fellow Qin Feng is right. Chapped lips and a swollen nose are the symptoms of an elevated body temperature, and Director Xiao has both symptoms. Besides, I’ve noticed that your tongue is coated with a layer of white matter, and when you talk, you spit all over the place. Indeed, you have a bad breath… I can smell it from this far away,” Ling Qing Yuan did not step forward and remained in his original position while explaining his observations of Xiao Lei.
The students were thrilled by him that they could not stop laughing. They never expected that Xiao Lei was troubled by both bad breath and hemorrhoids.
What a disgusting person!
Also, after Ling Qin Yuan had run through a diagnosis of Xiao Lei, so all of the students believed that Xiao Lei indeed had a mental illness. They now looked at him with strange eyes and vigilant expressions especially the students in the first row. They stared warily at Xiao Lei as they feared Xiao Lei might suddenly go crazy and rampage.
“Now it’s my turn, Qin Feng!”
Xiao Lei was humiliated by Qin Feng. Holding his pent-up anger, he stormed his way towards Qin Feng.
Qin Feng hastily stepped a few paces backward. He moved his way towards the students sitting in the first row, took Hua Yan’s mask, and put it on without asking for her consent. He said, “Director Xiao’s breath is too awful. I can’t get close to you without putting on a mask first. I hope Director Xiao won’t mind it.”
Qin Feng’s utterance had caused everybody to laughed incessantly again. Hua Yan, on the other hand, was stunned. She put on the same mask every day, and Qin Feng just took it without asking for her permission. Thus, they were practically kissing each other!
Chang Xin’s face turned chilly. Seeing how casual Qin Feng was in taking Hua Yan’s mask and putting it on, and the fact that Hua Yan did not stop him, Chang Xin was certain that Qin Feng and Hua Yan must have developed their relationship. Both of them must have kissed before, but she wasn’t certain if they had slept together or not.
Chang Xin seethed after witnessing it. She had been taking Hua Yan as her best friend. They shared a very intimate relationship and Chang Xin did not know how to face Hua Yan anymore.
Xiao Lei was once again rendered speechless. He choked on a mouthful of blood and could neither spit it out nor swallow it.
He stared furiously at Qin Feng and hastily went to examine his body condition to put an end to Qin Feng’s chance for mischief.
Chinese medicine emphasized a look, listen, question, and feel the pulse approach while western medicine had their own way of examining their patient. A great example was that western medicine could deduce the severity of some diseases like fever or flu via the color of phlegm, urine, and feces.
However, Qin Feng was a martial artist, so his body was in its best condition. Xiao Lei examined him for a few rounds, yet he still could not find any symptoms of illness.
“Director Xiao, is my body so healthy that you are not able to see what problems my body may have?” Qin Feng offered a sly grin to Xiao Lei. Xiao Lei replied to his gleeful grin with an ashen face.
At last, he could not continue his pretense and shook his head. He sighed, “I can’t find any illness in his body.”
“So that’s means I won, right? Director Xiao?”
“Hmph! It’s an unfair battle, to begin with, anyway!” Xiao Lei refuse to admit his incompetence in front of Ling Qing Yuan, so he began to find all sorts of reasons to defend himself with.
“You learned Chinese medicine while I specialized in western medicine. Chinese medicine emphasizes greatly on four steps: look, listen, question, and feel the pulse. You Chinese medicine practitioners could diagnose some common diseases through reading faces and feeling pulses. However, that is not what we do in western medicine! We use all kinds of highly advanced medical devices to run x-ray and microscopic analyses to deduce the causes of illness and condition of a patient.
“Chinese medicine has long gone down the drain. Nobody wants to learn this kind of outdated stuff. No offense, but who suffers from a serious illness and does not go seek assistance from a doctor of western medicine? Let me put it in a way you will understand: Chinese medicine can only cure common illnesses such as fevers, the flu, headaches, and stomach aches. Are you saying that you can cure some serious illness such as cardiovascular diseases, neurological illnesses, and internal visceral injuries simply by feeling the pulse and herbal prescriptions without an injection? Are you kidding me?”
Xiao Lei had lost the battle, so he criticized the lack of usefulness of Chinese medicine and compared it with the large demand for western medicine to beat down Qin Feng. Qin Feng remained rather unaffected by his speech. It was their judge, Ling Qing Yuan who reacted strongly to Xiao Lei’s speech. His face began to twitch, and his breath came in explosive puffs. His eyes rolled, and he fell unconscious.
“What happened, Professor Ling?”
“Professor Ling has fainted!”
“Stop moving around! Students, stay in your seats; professors, move out of the lecture hall now. Maintain the room’s ventilation!”
……
Ling Qing Yuan suddenly fainted throwing everybody into chaos.
"Everybody silent! Whoever utters a syllable from this moment on better not dare to come to my class anymore!” Qin Feng suddenly rose to his feet and glared. The students instantly fell into a pool of dead silence.
Rushing, Xiao Lei and Qin Feng arrived at Ling Qing Yuan’s side soon after. Most of the professors had retreated to the sideline to keep the room ventilated.
“Director Xiao, didn’t you say that western medicine is the major trend now while Chinese medicine is lagging behind and that cardiovascular diseases can only be cured through western methods or through operation? Then I ask you now, what is the reason that Elder Ling has fallen unconscious?”
Qin Feng’s countenance froze as he glared fiercely at Xiao Lei.
Xiao Lei suddenly felt that he was struck by a massive pressure causing him to lost the courage to speak.
“You proclaimed yourself as the chief physician of the neurology department, bluffing and blustering the title in front of everybody, but you don’t even know the exact reason that Elder Lin has fainted. He fainted due to a heart attack! This is Director Xiao’s area of expertise!”
Qin Feng caused Xiao Lei’s face to blush in anger. He wished he could hide in a hole.
But he knew he could not escape now. He steeled himself and said, “Qin Feng, there’s no point saying all this and that. Elder Lin is in dire strait now, and you still have the time to compare western and Chinese medicine with me? Since you always brag about how great Chinese medicine is, I dare you to cure Elder Lin with Chinese medicine!”