Open your eyes. You have learned to pass through the fear intact. You've found your inner light, Delilah, the part of yourself that can slice through the darkness. All Death Maidens must find their light, for they work in the darkness, and the energy must balance. It is harder for you, because you still live, but you've done it. Be proud of yourself, and know that you will never lose that light again.
Slowly, I opened my eyes. The room was lit, and there was nothing to be seen except an empty chamber with a bright light shimmering through it, and I was sitting on a bench in the center. As I let out my breath, I looked down and gasped. The tattoos on my arms had changed. The black shadow was more vivid, and the hints of burnished copper and rust shone within the leaves. My marks were growing stronger, and I guessed with every lesson, the tattoos would darken. Proud that I'd passed, content that I'd faced down the chal enge and won, I glanced up to see a glimpse of a shadow in the corner.
"Delilah?" The voice echoed out of the shadows.
I know you. You have been with me before. "You're not Hi'ran, but you bear his energy. You've come to me several times now. Let me see who you are." My pulse began to race, and my heart leapt into my throat. I needed to find out just who he was. I needed to meet him. There was something so familiar, and yet . . . so alien.
And then he stepped out of the corner of the room. His lips were the first feature I noticed. They curled into a bow, into the most delicate of smiles. I could tel he was a moment away from laughing, and that made the serene smile seem al the more intriguing. I stepped back, my gaze locked with his.
Hi'ran?
No . . . not Hi'ran. And yet--the autumn was there, in his aura, in his energy. I could see it, feel it, practical y taste it, like candy corn and caramel apples and pot roast and pumpkin soup.
" I know you . . ." I whispered.
The man was tal , but not more than an inch tal er than myself. He was muscled, from what I could tel , with a V waist and broad shoulders. His heritage and warm toffee skin suggested that he might be half-Japanese, half-black, but that in itself was impossible to tel , because I had no idea if he was human or not. Definitely not an FBH, though, because he emanated energy like a lighthouse.
His eyes were liquid--like glossy obsidian or flowing ink. They glowed, shimmering with a dappling of stars. A craggy set of scars marked one cheek and his forehead, but rather than mar his looks, they added to them. His hair was the color of honey, amber, and wheat, al streaked together in a shimmering array of high and low lights, and he wore it back in a ponytail.
"You are so beautiful," I whispered, not caring if he heard me. He was the most gorgeous creature I'd ever laid eyes on, scars and al .
He laughed then, and slid off the brown leather coat that hit him mid-calf. Beneath the rich-toned coat he was dressed in a pair of brown cargo pants, a black turtleneck, and around his neck, he wore a pendant of smoky rutilated quartz. He had on motorcycle boots, but there was something . . . and then I noticed.
Frost trickled off the heels. Frost, like the frost of Hi'ran's boots. And when the man gazed up at me, I caught a whiff of bonfires, of smoke, of the early tang of autumn hoarfrost.
Automatical y, without a second thought, I stepped in front of him, Hi'ran's words ringing in my head. "Keep your eyes open, my sweet. Keep your mind open. Remember the curve of my lips, the scent of old leather and autumn carnivals, the frost that lingers on my breath. Listen for the song your Mark sings when I'm near."
"You can't . . . Could you be . . . ?" But I got no further, for the mark on my forehead started to sing, to play me one chord at a time, as the man reached out to take my hands. Awash in the current of flame that raced between us, I moved toward him, and he held out his arms.
"How . . . ? Who . . . ?"
"Shush . . . let it be what it is, Delilah. He's my Master, too. And we're both his chosen." He pul ed me into his arms, and I wrapped my arms around his neck as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
As I gazed into his eyes, I could see the ages long past, the eons gone by for this man--whoever and whatever he might be. I wanted to snuggle deep into his arms and rest, safe from the storms of my life.
He slid his arms around my waist and pul ed me close. As his lips sought mine, I was able to think clearly enough just to ask, "What's your name?"
His hands wandering along my thigh, his gaze fastened on my face, he whispered, "Shade. Just cal me Shade." And then his lips found mine, and everything in the world slid away except the power of his kiss.
CHAPTER 18
I have no idea how long I stood there, kissing him, pressed against his chest and listening to his heart beat as hard as my own, but after what seemed like forever, his hands began to move, and they slid under my shirt, touching my flesh, and I recognized his touch. He'd kissed me before in shadow form, and I wanted more. I knew, in my heart, with him I could have what I never could have with Hi'ran. With Shade, I could have what I couldn't find with Chase or with Zachary. Shade's energy enveloped me like the haunting strains of a distant waltz, like a storm battering at my senses.
Pul ing him down to the bench, I frantical y began sliding his turtleneck up to reveal his chest--toned and strong, but also covered with the scars of time.
He pul ed the shirt off and, eyes luminous, gazed into my face.
"Are you sure you want this?"
"Now, I want you now. I know you, I know you . . ." I could only repeat over and over the thoughts running through my head as I struggled to remove my clothing. He helped, sliding my shirt off as I struggled out of my jeans. I needed him, needed to quench my thirst, needed to be touched, to be loved, to be taken and thoroughly sated in a way I'd never felt before.
Shade said nothing more, but slipped off his boots and his pants. He was golden in his color, reminding me of warm sugar toffee, of a vanil a latte, and I slid my hands down his sides, running them shamelessly around to cup his butt. His muscles were oh, so firm, and he was ready, so ready for me. I wanted to taste him, looked at his cock with hunger, but my fangs reminded me of failed attempts before. My heritage had given me non-retractable fangs, just enough to hurt someone if I made a wrong move.
However, Shade seemed to pick up on my desire. "It's al right. If you want to, I would love it--you can't hurt me as easily as you can a human. Trust me,"
he whispered.
It was my turn to ask, "Are you sure?"
He nodded, and I knelt in front of him, cautiously licking his erection, the tip of my tongue running up its length to tickle the head. One fang caught a bit of the flesh, but he didn't even wince, and, emboldened, I gave a long, coiling lick around the head of his penis, pressing my lips to the top. I couldn't ful y take him in my mouth--it would leave fang marks al the way down--but I sucked lightly with my lips, pursing them around him, enjoying the feel and light, salty taste of him on my tongue.
He moaned and motioned me up. I slid up his body, pressing my breasts against his skin as I did so, feeling his cock press against my groin and stomach.
Shade laid me on the bench and leaned over me, taking one of my nipples in his mouth, sucking, as his fingers trailed down my abs, down to my thatch, where he slid them inside me, kissing me deeply as he did so. His tongue caught on my fangs, but he gently moved it away and continued to probe my mouth, even as he fingered me into a sudden, jolting orgasm that I wasn't ready for. Spiraling, I let out a cry, sharp and jagged, as he moved between my legs and slowly, inch by inch, slid inside me.
Shade was wide and hard, and I felt every inch of him as he entered me. He set up a delicious movement, the friction driving me crazy as he matched his rhythm to mine, and then thought fel away as I looked into his eyes and spun out of control, fal ing over the cliff into a bliss I'd never felt before. My panther and Tabby both were sailing with me, and for the very first time, al of my selves responded as Shade tore me outside of myself, fil ed me ful with sparkling joy, and set me free from any lingering doubts I had about myself as a woman.
Some time later--I have no idea how long--he reluctantly broke away. "You must return home now," he said, kissing my neck gently. "I don't want you to go, but you can't remain in Haseofon for too long while you are stil in body. I can come and go as I please, because of my nature, but you must return to your bed." He cocked his head in a peculiar way that made me want to laugh.
"I thought I was here in spirit."
"No, my dear, your body is here, too, in a way. It has been since you entered this chamber. You are bilocating, in two places at once. It's difficult to maintain, though, and the thread is wearing thin."
"But . . . wil I see you again?" I couldn't bear to walk away. Not now, not after I'd just found him. A piece of me had broken away during our lovemaking, and it was with him. And I held a piece of his heart in my own.
"I promise you, my love, I wil meet you soon in your world. Keep watch for me." He helped me dress, stopping to kiss me time and again.
My head fuzzy from the rush of emotion and desire, I stared into his eyes. He was different--oh, so different--from both Chase and Zachary. Shade met my eyes, calm, cool, unwavering. And in his gaze, I saw no backpedaling, no hesitation. And in that moment, I understood.
"You are the one . . . he wil use you to . . ."
"Hush, go now." He pressed his fingers to my lips, and I pressed my nose to his neck, inhaling deeply the scents of pumpkins and apples and spiced rum and woodsmoke.
Our roots ran deep into the same core. Beyond Were and--whatever Shade was--we were bound by the same master, by the same Elemental Lord.
We walked the same energy, we understood the thril of the flame and the pungent odor of freshly til ed harvest soil.
"I choose . . . to take the chance," I whispered. "Come to me soon."
"I wil . Until then . . ." He pressed a box into my hand. "This is to remember me by."
I blinked, trying to hold my eyes open, but the room began to spin, and he vanished before I could say another word. I started to look at what he'd given me, but Greta was suddenly at my side, lowering me to the bench. She leaned down and breathed a kiss into my mouth, and everything began to fade. I struggled, not wanting to leave yet, but then I let go and surrendered my wil . To her, to Shade, to Hi'ran. To my destiny.
"Delilah? Delilah, wake up." Iris shook me awake, and I blinked against the light flooding from the overhead fixture on the ceiling.
I struggled awake, wiping my hand across my eyes. "Is it . . . seven o'clock already?"
"Seven thirty. I let you sleep a little longer. Both you and Camil e needed it. You were dead to the world when I tried to wake you up half an hour ago.
Now, come on, get dressed."
I scrambled out of bed, wondering how much of the dream had been real and how much had been wish fulfil ment. As I finished fastening my bra and pul ed on a pair of jeans and a shirt, Iris made my bed for me.
After a moment, she said, "Delilah--what's this?"
I turned to see she was holding . . . the box Shade had given me. No, not a dream at al . "I'm not sure, to tel you the truth. Open it, would you?"
She did, gasping as she flipped the top open. "Look," she said hoarsely.
I finished tucking in my shirt and fed a leather belt through the loops on my jeans, buckling it as I walked back to the bed. The box contained a ring. It was gold, with a faceted smoky quartz. I slowly took the ring out of the box and rested the intricately etched band in the palm of my hand.
With every fiber of my being, I knew that if I put this on, Shade would become a part of my life. Memories of Camil e talking about Tril ian and how they met flashed by, and for the first time, I understood. I understood the connection they shared and would never again question it.
I looked up to find Iris staring at me, a peculiar look on her face.
"What's going on, Delilah? Where did you get that?"
"Why? Can't it just be a ring?"
She shook her head. "Not with the energy rol ing off that band. I recognize that energy. I've felt it before."
I slowly held it up to the light. It sparkled. A ring of promise. A ring of binding. A ring of acceptance and submission to my destiny. A ring of empowerment by accepting my destiny. Once I put this on, there was no going back. The only question was: Did I want to know what Iris knew before or after I put on the ring? If I hesitated, was I stil resisting the inevitable?
Sometimes, I thought, you just have to submit to your life . . . go with the flow, take a chance, leap before you look. In tabby form, I was a free spirit. I bounced and played my way through the day without worrying what waited ahead. In panther form, I did what came natural y--I bounded ahead, fearless.
At what point had I lost that fearlessness in my life as a woman, half-Fae or not? When had I become afraid? Or had I ever been without the fear and doubt? What made me so hesitant in two-legged form when I could let go and just be who I wanted to be as a cat--big or smal ? When had I first begun to put everyone else's opinions ahead of my own intuition?
I'd learned to break through my inner darkness in that room with Shade, and I'd tasted the passion in a way I could only dream of. Now, was I ready to take a chance? To stride ahead and be the woman I knew I could be?
I looked up at Iris, thinking al of these things, as I slowly slid the ring on the fourth finger of my right hand. No booming chimes or tril ing harps sounded, but I'd just signed the pact. I'd jumped at the chance, taken the leap, and nothing would ever be the same.
Iris sat on the edge of my bed. "Oh girl, what have you done? I felt the shift in your aura as plainly as I see it when you change shape. I hope you know what you're doing."
"I do," I said, laughing. "I do. But tel me now--now that I've fol owed my gut. What sort of creature owns this ring?"