It was simply the sting of letting go.
"He doesn't know how you feel, does he?"
She shook her head. "And I'l never tel him if you are just on a break. I'd never step in and try to take him from you. And if you are truly through as a couple, I promise you that I won't say a word until he's ready--and that won't be for a while yet. If ever. "
Taking her gently by the shoulders, I gazed into her gamin face. She real y was beautiful, in a pale and breathless sort of way. Ethereal, even as she was practical. She was brave and strong, but gentle enough to make a man like Chase feel secure.
"Sharah, Chase and I have run our course. We learned from each other, and we'l always be friends. I'l always love him, and he'l probably always love me, but . . . I don't think we'l ever go back to being in love. If you feel the time is right, don't stand back because of me. Take a chance and talk to him. You might just be the woman he needs, because I'm not that person."
Her eyes lit up and I thought she was going to cry, and I knew I'd done the right thing. Inside, whispering in my ear, I could hear the boreal wind and on it, Hi'ran whispered, "Don't fret, my love. You'll never be alone." And then he fel silent again. I gave her a sad smile.
"I'm going to miss having him around the house as much, but sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, it's just not going to work."
"Yes, I know that." Sharah glanced up at me. "I left someone back in Elqaneve for that very reason. He was . . . too set in his ways. He disapproved of my assignment to come Earthside--he wanted me to stay home and make babies. And I couldn't do that, even though I loved him."
As I sat back and gave her a smile, the pensiveness left her face in a sudden wash, and I saw a woman sitting there who might real y be able to make my detective happy. Sharah was safe enough for him, she was stoic and strong-wil ed, but she wouldn't constantly make him feel like he was running to keep up, like he was compromising himself for his love.
"So," I said after a moment. "Shal we go see how my sister is doing?"
And with that, our discussion was over, and my future with Chase was settled and history.
Before heading back to the medic unit, I dropped in to Dispatch.
"Chase around?" I wasn't about to tel him what I'd discussed with Sharah, but I wanted to bring him up to speed on Van and Jaycee.
"No," Yugi said. "There's been some sort of explosion at one of the magical shops, and he headed out on the cal ."
Suddenly feeling chil ed, I asked, "Which one?"
Yugi consulted his clipboard. "Madame Pompey's Magical Emporium. Looks like somebody total y trashed the place."
Crap--so that's where Smoky had been off to. I decided to keep my mouth shut. No good getting the dragon pissed at me. Especial y when he was defending his wife.
Instead, I asked, "I was wondering if Andy Gambit decided to press charges against me?" Might as wel kil two birds with one stone, I thought.
Yugi shook his head. "Don't worry about him pressing charges--my men had a little talk with him when we hauled his ass away from your house. But, Delilah, you know he's going to make a hash out of this in the Seattle Tattler. That rag's going to mop you up like a sponge."
Grimacing, I nodded. He was right, meaning I'd better double-check when next week's issue hit the mailbox. We subscribed just to keep tabs on what the freak was up to. Usual y he was taking potshots at Camil e, but this time I knew I'd be on the menu.
"Thanks, Yugi. Tel Chase . . . just tel him I said hel o, would you?"
He nodded, and I took off to see how Camil e was doing. By the time I got there, she was sitting up, looking a little worse for wear. Her skin looked like she'd tried to shave and nicked herself in a hundred places.
"Maybe Roz's wonder salve can prevent scarring?" I winced as I saw the pile of shards and slivers sitting in the tray next to the table. "Crap, that's nasty.
Did they get it al ?"
"We think so," Mal en said. "In the end, I resorted to cal ing in one of the healers who could charm some of the fragments out--she was getting too sore to use the tweezers anymore. We've put a special ointment on that should take care of most of the healing and leave no marks, but there are a couple places we had to stitch up. No taking a bath for two days and no picking at scabs!"
As we headed out, Sharah smiled and waved. Her eyes sparkled, and for the first time in weeks, I felt at peace about Chase and me as Camil e and I headed out to the car.
CHAPTER 17
By the time we got home, everybody else was there and gathered in the kitchen. It had become our usual hangout for planning strategy. Nerissa was absent--she'd had to go home after her mini-vacation with Menol y, but everybody else was sitting around, drinking tea, eating cookies and chips and whatever else Iris had managed to find for snack time.
I looked over at Smoky, a faint grin on my face, as Camil e settled in between him and Tril ian. Morio sat to Tril ian's left.
"What?" Smoky cleared his throat, cocking his head to one side. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I just got wind that a certain magical shop was trashed. Thoroughly." I met his stare. "Did you leave evidence?"
He snorted. "Do I look stupid?"
I wasn't going to answer that. A--he didn't look stupid, he was probably one of the hottest dragons around. B--even if he did, you don't tel a dragon you think they look stupid.
Camil e looked from him to me. "What's going on?"
"Your husband took out the magic shop. Van and Jaycee are going to be so pissed. I have the feeling Stacia didn't have them open it just to snag us in.
Looked like a good way to establish a foothold here. Now, there's not much left but one big junk heap of shelves, bottles, and merchandise."
Camil e turned to Smoky. "Cripes, what am I going to do with you? They're going to know we did it--al the more reason for Stacia to up the bounty to dead or alive."
"Which reminds me," Iris said, "have you thought about hiring a few guards for the house? When you're al home, everything is dandy, but during the day, when you're out, with just Maggie and myself here--and Menol y asleep--we're perfect targets. And I don't mind helping out, I don't mind fighting in this war, but it would seem a wise precaution."
"I'l get on it," Camil e said, jotting down a note on her steno pad.
I covered my ears and rested my head on the table, not wanting to think about al the crap we were facing. After a moment, a hand ran down my back, patting me lightly. I looked up, glaring, and found Roz staring down at me, a soft smile on his face.
"Too much?"
I nodded. "Too much of everything. The past few days have been insane. The only good thing that's come out of it has been Camil e's wedding." As I glanced over, staring at her sitting with her husbands, a thought occurred to me.
"Smoky! You could solve one of our minor problems for us." I beamed at him. "Make your sister-in-law happy, would you?"
"How so?" He looked worried. "You don't want me to start catching game for the house or anything, do you? Because dragon-scorched meat doesn't taste so good to humans and their ilk."
"That steak you caught me when I first came to your barrow was delicious, sweetheart." Camil e patted his hand. "He's lying--his game is always prime choice--"
"Oh for Pete's sake . . . no, I am not asking you to play mighty hunter. But Camil e and I promised a dryad we'd find her another home--one with more wild land she could spread out on. What say we turn her loose on your land?"
Camil e stared at me. "You're right--that would be perfect!"
"Hold on--both of you. What are you up to now, and what sort of creature do you want to turn loose on my land? I just got rid of Titania and that insufferable Morgaine." Smoky looked ready to take a bel igerent stance on the subject.
"She's not a Fae Queen, she's just a dryad looking for a wilder place than Rodgers Park. You could make her happy--and help us fulfil our promise." I snickered as Camil e grinned and lightly rubbed her hand along his arm.
"Smoky, love, it would make me so grateful if you'd do this," she said.
Smoky let out a low rumble that sounded al too much like a growl and gazed at her hand. "You aren't above bribing me, are you?" he asked, his voice husky. The glacial chil of his eyes swam in a whirl of ice floes and ocean mist. Camil e leaned in and kissed him, her lips lingering over his. After a moment, she pul ed away, wincing.
"Damn these cuts . . ."
"My love, you never have to hurt yourself to ask a favor from me," he said, wrapping his hand around hers and holding it against his shoulder. He turned back to me. "You have your wish, as long as the Fae understands it's my territory, and she's a guest there. You may take her there whenever you like. Also: I've insured that Georgio and Estel e are taken care of by . . . a couple of my friends. Warn the dryad not to come close to the house."
"Trust me, Bluebel isn't like Wisteria was. That veg-head was a freak." The floraed--an offshoot of the dryads--had been out to kil anybody who stood in the way of wiping out humanity so the plants could take over the world again.
Which brought up thoughts of the demons and the spirit seals. Again. "Tril ian, Vanzir, Morio--what did you find out about the address Marion gave us for the coyote shifters?"
Morio pul ed out a digital camera and handed it to me. "Can you download these pictures? We thought it might be easier than just going by description."
I grinned at him. "Geek boy! I'l teach you yet."
Pul ing out my laptop, I fired it up. As they continued to chat, I plugged in the USB cable to one of my ports on the laptop, then into the camera and punched the "On" button. We'd picked up several cameras of the same type so we'd only have to deal with one brand of software, and kept one at the house, one in each of our cars, and one stayed in Morio's SUV. I was determined that we'd learn to use technology along with our innate magic--it would be the only way we could survive in this society.
As the pictures downloaded, I motioned to Iris. "How long til sundown?"
She glanced at the chart we had tacked up on the wal . "Another two hours--shortly after five. In a week or so, we'l be switching back out of daylight saving time, and she'l be able to get up an hour earlier."
"Then maybe we'd better get some rest. As soon as I finish downloading the photos, we'l take a nap, then go over them when we get up. Menol y wil be awake then."
I opened a window and pul ed up the folder into which they'd downloaded. The JPEGs were huge, but my computer had been upgraded to handle bigger tasks, and I opened them up, zooming out so I could line them up side by side. Then I plugged in the wal monitor we'd had instal ed to yet another USB port so the images would feed onto it instead of just my smal er screen. That way everybody could see them.
"Okay, this is al set up for when we need it. Nobody touch my computer, got it?" After they al nodded, I said, "So let's hit the sheets for three hours.
Wake-up cal at seven P.M., Iris. Camil e--you be sure to get some sleep."
And amazingly, they listened to me, and we trudged upstairs for a catnap.
I looked around and realized I was roaming through the streets of Seattle. It was late, and a cold wind was howling in off the bay. I pul ed my leather jacket closer around my neck. The stars shimmered overhead in the chil night, and I wished that I'd asked Menol y to come with me.
I was heading toward a building up ahead--why, I wasn't sure, I didn't remember ever seeing it before, but I knew that there was something waiting for me, and I had no choice.
"Hel o. You know you're out of body, don't you?" The voice beside me was familiar, and as I turned I saw Greta, walking beside me. She inclined her head.
"We're fast-tracking you. After the incident this morning, we can't wait too long, or you won't be able to control your powers. The Panteris phir is helping you learn to control shifting into your panther form, but it won't prevent you from losing your temper and using your Death Maiden abilities before you've been instructed in the proper rituals."
I stared at the sidewalk as we walked. The cracks were fil ed with snippets of grass and weeds. Nature always found a way. It broke through al man-made structures in time; it reclaimed even as it was destroyed in the never-ending war.
"He kil ed that woman and her baby. He had to die." The look on the murderer's face stil haunted my thoughts. I wasn't sorry he was dead. As Menol y would have said, "One less slime in the gene pool."
"Yes, but when you use your powers as a Death Maiden, you must always wait for orders. Either from our Master, or from me." She caught my eye.
"Unless His Lordship gave you leave, and I didn't know about it?"
I gazed steadily ahead, not speaking. It wasn't that I wanted to be obstinate, but I didn't want to discuss my relationship with Hi'ran with her. I was his only living emissary, I was the one he wanted to get with child, and I didn't want to think about him touching the rest of them, even though I knew that I was simply one in a harem of women.
But she must have seen it on my face. "You wil never have him al for your own, and he cannot touch you until you are dead. Accept the reality. He's one of the Harvestmen--an Immortal. He's beyond even the gods."
"I know," I whispered. "I'm just lonely. And he makes me feel . . ."
"Please, trust me when I tel you that you're special to him. You are his chosen one. He won't let you remain alone. There are wonderful things waiting for you--long before you enter the realm of the dead. Don't begrudge the rest of us what joy we have. We can never receive the chance he's offering you."