“Yeah. Funeral is next Friday.”
“Morgan?”
“Sam flew to Alabama the day after her last final. She’s with her.”
His eyes squeezed shut, and my heart clenched. “Okay. Do we fly? Drive? Fuck this leg.”
“Jagger’s dad is sending a plane—no, don’t argue—it’s not like Jagger can get around easily in a wheelchair, and you would hate flying commercially with your leg, or being stuck in a car for fourteen hours.”
“Hotel?”
“Reservations made.”
“Captain Trivette? Do you know anything about her?” His eyes focused on his plate.
“Yeah. Hers is here, a few days before. We can make both.” It had only taken a quick call to Carol, the kind wife from the FRG, to get the details.
He nodded and looked up slowly. “You took care of everything.”
“That’s my job. I take care of you,” I answered with a smile. In every way that I know how.
He squeezed my hand and gave me a look that melted me. “Thank you.”
“I love you,” I answered, as if that were reason enough for anything. Because it was.
His eyes dropped to my ring and lost a little of their life. “Listen, about what happened in Germany.”
I tensed. “The whole non-wedding thing?”
“Yeah. I hope you know that I want to marry you. I just didn’t want those circumstances. I didn’t want that to be our story. Our wedding day should be about you and me and our forever, not some rush job in a foreign country without our family. Not because you felt forced.”
“I didn’t care. It didn’t matter to me.” It mattered when he’d said no.
He took my hand, his thumb grazing the diamond on my engagement ring. “It would have, eventually. This…moment—what we’re going through—it’s just a blip in our lives, something we’ll always remember but won’t dwell on. I didn’t want our wedding memories to be tangled up in that. Please tell me you understand.”
I came out of my chair and kissed his forehead, lingering for just a second to breathe him in. I was so lucky, so blessed to have him here. “I understand,” I whispered, then cleared our plates.
It wasn’t until after the dishes were done that I realized he hadn’t taken the pain medication.
“You ready?” he asked from the living room, dressed in a pair of basketball shorts and Under Armour shirt.
“You didn’t take your meds?” I asked, holding them in my palm.
He shook his head with a smile I knew he was faking, but I let it slide. “I’m fine. Besides, I’ve seen what they do to some guys, and I’d rather deal with the pain now than the withdrawals later. I’m fine. Seriously.”
I’m fine. It was his damn mantra.
“Okay,” I said too quickly and then pocketed the bottle in my purse. If he changed his mind later, I’d have them.
“Ready?” he asked, standing in his PTs, using one crutch to keep the weight off his leg.
“Maybe we should get you a wheelchair,” I suggested, grabbing my keys and purse.
“No.”
“It would help keep the weight off that leg.”
He made his way to the porch. “No. Final answer.”
I totally mocked his manliness behind his back as I locked the door. “You’re far too stubborn.” Turning, I saw him perched at the edge of the steps with a wry smile.
“I know my limits.” His eyes shot skyward. “Sometimes.”
I became his crutch to get him down the steps.
“Oh man, I want to take my Jeep,” he said wistfully, looking at the closed garage where I kept her.
“As soon as you can bear weight, babe. Until then, it’s car city.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he moped, folding himself carefully into the passenger seat of my car. I’d pushed back the seat as far as it would go before getting him the night before.
“Okay, full schedule,” I said as we pulled out of the Starbucks drive-through, two white mochas in hand. Caffeine was a biological necessity to get through Josh’s afternoon. “Where do we start?”
“Airfield. They want me to meet with ASDAT.” His voice went flat.
“In English?”
“Aircraft Shoot Down Assessment Team.”
My hands tightened on the steering wheel, and my breath stuttered. “Because you were shot down?” I tried my best to keep my voice even.
The incident is under investigation. That’s all they’d told us.
“Yes.”
My eyes darted from the road to where he stared out the window. “And…” I swallowed and pushed past the boulder in my throat. “…and Will was with you?”
He didn’t move a single muscle except the one in his jaw. “Yes.”
We pulled up to the gate and I handed the guard our IDs. He scanned both, handed them back, and waved us through. My mind reeled as I drove, questions firing faster than I could even process them, knowing I shouldn’t ask. I should wait until he told me. But what if he never does? “And Jagger’s aircraft?”
We parked in front of the battalion building, but Josh didn’t move.
“Josh?”
He looked in my direction, but not at me. “Jagger was shot down. We responded and were shot down, too. Carter survived the crash—” He swallowed, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath as his fist clenched the seat. “I can only go through this once right now. I just…can’t.”