I wait for him to respond. Another tear falls.
“Tomas?” I reach out to him, but he steps away from my touch.
“Promise me that if we fail and war breaks out, we run,” he says.
“You can’t—”
“Yes, I can.” He steps closer, and in the dimness I see his face. So handsome. So dear. “I won’t leave you to do this alone.”
“But—”
His mouth touches mine, silencing my protest. I wrap my arms around him and sink into the kiss. After this I will find a way to convince him to go. But I want this one memory to hold close. This moment.
His arms wrap tight around me. In their circle I am safe, but I feel a fire start to burn. My hands touch his cheeks, his neck, his arms, memorizing the feel of him. My breath comes faster. I allow myself one last kiss, then step out of the warmth of Tomas’s arms.
Taking a steadying breath, I say, “I want you to tell me that you’ll leave.”
“I’ll leave only when you do. Until then, we’re in this together.”
He kisses me again. His fingers lace through mine. We stand in the shadows, facing the unknown like we did on the plains during the fourth test. “Together,” I agree.
Maybe if I pushed harder, he would promise to return home. But I don’t. Because this is his fight, too. Because I know, if I am going to succeed, I need him at my side. Because my heart cannot bear to push him away.
“How many names are on the president’s list?”
“Twelve.” I run down the list of names I memorized earlier.
“The president can’t believe you can handle all of that by yourself.”
“She might, but I know I need help,” I say. “I was hoping you’d stand with me, and I think Stacia might. But we’ll need more. People who believe as we do and can handle the decisions we are going to have to make. People we can trust.”
“Trust takes time. That’s something we don’t have.”
Tomas is right. Trust does take time. So does understanding a person’s strengths and weaknesses. The task I have accepted should seem impossible, yet, in a matter of weeks, Dr. Barnes was able to determine not only who was smart enough to lead our country but how we would comport ourselves when faced with extreme pressure and life-threatening situations.
Everyone here at the University was chosen to lead. But what I will need to know is that those on my team believe as I do that The Testing must be ended. That those who have worked for the rebellion, thinking they were bringing change, must be saved. That we need new leaders who will change the system that brought us here in order to secure the futures of those younger than us who dream of someday being selected. And if the people I decide to ask to participate in this terrible task are willing to fight for those things, there is still one question that must be answered.
Can they be trusted?
To learn the answer Tomas and I have only one choice. We will need to stage our own Testing.
Tomas listens as I tell him my idea as well as everything I learned about the people on the list and their visions for the future of The Testing. When I am done, he doesn’t make another plea for us to leave. Instead he says, “A week doesn’t give us much time to assemble a team and carry out a plan.”
“I’ll talk to Stacia tomorrow after class,” I say.
“Are you sure we can trust her? I know she’s your friend, but . . .”
I’m certain he is remembering the encounter we had with her during the fourth test. I remember it too. She was with two candidates from her colony—a blond girl named Tracelyn and a boy named Vic. We spent only a few hours with them, during which Stacia was standoffish. When she did speak, she casually expressed the belief that Testing officials would be justified in passing candidates who chose to kill. When the fourth test ended, Stacia and Vic had crossed the finish line. Tracelyn had not. And the smile Stacia wore on the days leading to our interviews and selection made me think she had something to do with Tracelyn’s failure to pass that test.
“No,” I admit. “But I think I understand what motivates her.” Which might be more important. “I can’t say the same about the others I’m considering.”
“I wish there were more students from Five Lakes.” Tomas says. “At least we’d understand where they came from and what they were taught to believe.”
Knowing Tomas is thinking of Zandri, I give his hand a squeeze and think about how much I wish she were with us too.
“I think there might be others from Five Lakes here in Tosu City.” Quickly, I tell Tomas about Dreu Owens and the information I found about him. “If he’s still in Tosu City, he might be willing to help us.”
“Maybe.” Tomas smiles for the first time since I told him about the president’s directive. “I know a number of Biological Engineering graduates, like your father, are sent to the colonies, but a lot of them are assigned to work in Tosu City. One of the people I work with in my internship might know where to find Dreu. If not, the head of my residence should have an idea where he is. It would be good to have someone on our team who knows how things work in Tosu City.”
True. Which is why Raffe and Enzo are both on my Testing list. The idea of Raffe as a team member doesn’t make Tomas happy, but instead of arguing he says, “If you can find a way to test Raffe that shows he isn’t like Will, I’ll be okay working with him.”
In my mind I see a flash of Tomas’s face going pale as Will’s bullet hits home. Red blooming on Tomas’s shirt. Him clutching his torso as he falls to the ground. Whatever test I create for Raffe to prove he is capable of being on our team will have to be definitive in order to gain Tomas’s agreement.