My heart broke a little thinking of Reed’s reaction. “Was he angry?” I asked, suddenly feeling sick and leaning into Sarah’s counter to hold my weight up.
“No. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Nolan, he was so upset over you and everything you were going through,” she said, stopping herself short when I snapped my eyes to hers.
“What do you mean what I’ve been going through?” I asked, praying she hadn’t told Reed every detail of my crumbling life.
“Yeah, Nolan. Reed and I, we’ve been talking. A lot. You’re going to get pissed and find this out eventually, so you might as well know now. I’m worried about you. Sienna’s worried about you. You’re flunking out, losing your scholarships. You’re a mess! And I told Reed. He knows everything,” she said, her shoulders sagging again with the weight of it all.
I held my hand over my mouth just listening to her words, embarrassed and ashamed. I knew it was all true, but I still didn’t like hearing it. I was the together one. I didn’t fall apart. And the thought that Reed was just being nice to me, showing me attention, because he felt bad for me also ran through my mind.
“Nolan, stop that. You’re getting ahead of yourself, I can tell,” Sarah said, forcing my eyes to hers. “Stop it. You and Reed are figuring things out. It’s not pity.”
“Sarah, how do you know? What if it’s all just guilt?” I said, my stomach twisting and my heart sinking a little more.
“Because, I know. I’m never wrong. Like…ever. Now grab your shit; we’re going home,” she said, turning on me and not letting me get another word in. It was her style. Tough and to-the-point, and I knew I was better off following her directions. I also knew I’d continue to worry silently.
Sarah and I were just turning onto the main desert highway when my phone buzzed, bringing me out of my self-pity funk for just a moment. I reached into my console and pushed until I found the talk button and put the phone to my ear.
“Hello?” I asked, not sure who was calling.
“Hey, honey,” my mom said, her voice sounding a little flat and depressed.
“Oh, hi. I didn’t see the number. Sarah and I are on our way. I just have to drop her off then I’ll be home,” I said, excited to be going home.
“Honey, that’s the thing…” my mom started, my mind taking over and going in a million directions over what her next round of news could be. I was slowing down on the highway now, and Sarah was staring at me, worried.
“Oh God, what is it?” I said, choking a bit with panic.
“No, no…honey, don’t worry. Everyone is fine. Everyone is just fine,” she continued, knowing that I was imagining the worst. “It’s the house. We…we had a small fire this morning. It was the laundry room, actually. Something about the dryer vent.”
I relaxed immediately, my home being damaged—nothing compared to what my mind was conjuring. “Oh, thank God. Well, do I have to sleep on the sofa or something?” I asked, knowing I shared a wall with the laundry room.
“Well…it’s a little bigger than that, I’m afraid. The fire destroyed your entire room. Honey, I’m so sorry,” my mom was crying a little, giving me the news. I was just so relieved that everyone was okay, and that it was only a fire, only stuff.
“It’s okay, really mom. I have most of the things I need at school. I’m just glad you and Dad are okay,” I said, trying to calm her. She let out a big breath and seemed to settle again when I spoke. “Well, what’s the plan then? Are we going to a hotel for a bit? Do they just board it up?”
“Ohhh, nooooooo. Honey, it’s bigger than that,” my mom said, and I could almost visualize her eyebrows rising as she spoke. “We’re going to need to live with grandma and grandpa for a while. Your dad and I have the truck packed, and the insurance adjusters are coming out next week to figure things out. Work will be slow over the holidays, but we should be back in by spring.”
Suddenly, the gravity of everything hit me. But it wasn’t my home and my things—it was Reed. I wouldn’t be near him, and I didn’t think I could live without that right now. “Do…do we have to?” my voice broke a little as I spoke.
“I know it’s really awful timing, Nolan. But the house, it just isn’t livable right now,” my mom said. “Hold on…” I heard her muffle the phone and could hear my father and her talking in the background. At this pause, Sarah slapped at my leg to get my attention. I just grimaced at her and mouthed “Hang on.”