"Her name was Celeste. We were together for a year. I adored her. She wanted to be my wife."
That he could admit to adoring any woman sent a streak of jealousy through her. "Sounds fine so far."
He shook his head, pain rippling over his features before they cooled to a dark mask. "No. She wanted to be the wife of Donahue Enterprises' president." He looked at her then. "Not mine."
"Ah, she liked the lifestyle more." She flipped open the cooler and took out two sodas, offering him one.
"She claimed she wanted a home."
"Did you want that, too?" She popped the top and sipped.
He shrugged, rolling the can between his palms. "When I have to travel to make deals and worry about becoming obsolete with technology or whether or not I'm going to make the payroll, yeah, sometimes."
Sometimes wasn't enough in her book. A person wasn't a sometimes husband or a sometimes wife. And a home wasn't where you slept, in her opinion – it was where you lived and raised a family. Alex just didn't get it, and she was suddenly thankful she'd left New York before she got caught up in the power climb and forgot it herself. "Having money isn't all it's cracked up to be, is it?"
He made a rude sound. "Has a tendency to cloud the thinking. I wish I'd seen it before it went that far."
"Was she 'wife material'?"
"In the beginning, I suppose." But not like you, Alex thought, meeting her gaze. Nothing like you.
"Those seem like regular problems, Alex. Things you have to work out between husband and wife. Maybe you gave up too easily?"
"Maybe. She did. I was just getting out of the red and before I bought up the cell air, there were months when I didn't think I'd make it and that I would let everyone down. I came back early from a meeting and found her in bed, my bed, with one of the executives I was negotiating with for the cells." He remembered the humiliation. "Worst thing was, everyone knew it, knew she was giving details of the deals while searching for richer ground. I was too busy trying to make it all work to see the signs."
"She couldn't have loved you, Alex. Not and betray you so easily."
"I know. Maybe I didn't love her as much as I thought, either."
"There's your trouble." She braced her back on the wooden bench, sipping the soda. "Love is supposed to be feeling, not thinking. If you have to think that hard, then you aren't there."
That sounded too simple, he thought. "You speaking from experience?"
"Not as much as you, I imagine." She tore her gaze from his, a little sting flitting through her chest with the memory. Paul had wanted everything from her; time, attention, and before she'd made the mistake and given him her body, she'd realized he gave her nothing.
"Who was he?"
She glanced. "A man who couldn't understand my wants and didn't have the time or the inclination to find them out." Which was the case with most of the men she'd dated. Her family's welfare came first right now. She was raised that way, and she didn't mind being a rock for them. The trouble was that men didn't like that she took care of her obligations first, before them.
Yet for Alex she'd ignored everything. She'd packed hastily, called her sister and father to tell them she wouldn't be around and that there were plenty of meals in the freezer. Only Katherine knew where she was. She'd discarded everything for him, and that scared her.
"She wasn't the first woman to split for richer territory."
Oh, to have so many women turn on him, she thought. "Sounds like the wrong choices were yours."
"I have a string of those, believe me."
She frowned.
On the bench, he turned toward her, staring at her as he spoke. "After my parents died, I went wild. I was mad at Mom for getting cancer, at Dad for dying of a broken heart and leaving me alone. Got myself thrown out of a dozen foster homes until I ended up in jail."
Her eyes widened a bit. "Jail?"
"Yeah, talk about scaring a kid silly. It was petty stuff – vandalism and disturbing the peace. My father's lawyer found me somehow and asked me what my parents would say if they saw me. I was ashamed, and that terrified me more than prison. I knew I had to straighten myself out or end up on the streets." He shrugged. "I figured the only way I could make it right was to get back the company like Dad wanted."
Madison still thought it was too much to ask of a young boy, but kept her comments to herself. "You will."
"I have to. It's as if I can't live until I get it."
She heard the frustration in his voice. "I understand. Sometimes I feel as if I've put my life on hold for my family. Don't get me wrong, I want to take care of them, but I wish I didn't have to. That sounds selfish, I suppose."