Please kiss me.
We stared at each other for what seemed like minutes and then he gently put his warm hand on my cheek. I thought he might pull me close to him again, but this time he pulled my face into his and our lips smashed together.
I immediately opened my mouth and let his warm tongue slide into my mouth, blasted by the heat of his intense breathing.
At first, he kissed me slow, alternating between burying his tongue into my mouth and kissing me softly on the lips, his teeth gently brushing against my chin.
I wanted more.
I opened my mouth wider and kissed him harder and fast. He immediately reacted and grabbed my face and kissed me harder too, plunging his tongue as far in my mouth as it would reach. Our tongues danced roughly and when he moaned, the vibration sent shivers throughout my body.
He stopped kissing my mouth abruptly and moved his lips down to my neck kissing me gently, but stopping just short of my cleavage. This felt so good, but I licked my lips missing the feel of his mouth on them. I wanted his mouth everywhere and closed my eyes, relishing every warm breath on my body.
I wanted him to go lower onto my breasts, but he immediately worked his way up my neck again but this time his kiss was rougher. Our lips met again and I returned his kiss feverishly, grabbing his shiny, thick hair running my fingers through it as I pressed my mouth firmly into his.
As our tongues circled one another, his hot mouth tasted like sugar and wine. The taste mixed with his musky scent was driving me mad. The heat of his chest pressed against mine was too much to bear. I sighed into his mouth as we continued to kiss hard and he responded with a louder moan that I felt at the back of my throat.
I had never wanted anyone more in my entire life and felt like I was about to lose it.
I pulled back never turning away from his electric blue eyes, which were now darker with want. Breathing heavily, he continued to hold my face and stare at me.
My feelings were too strong. I had to do this. I had to know. It was killing me.
“Cedric,” I said, my voice raspy. I could feel my armpits sweating.
“Yes?” he whispered, smiling softly at me.
“Your girlfriend…where is she?” I asked, clearing my throat.
Cedric’s face turned beet red, but his eyes never moved from mine. He shook his head back and forth as if to snap himself out of a trance. “What? What do you mean?”
“Your girlfriend. Karyn. Karyn Keller.”
Cedric moved back suddenly as if taken aback by my knowledge of her name. The sudden absence of his touch and the seriousness of his expression scared me.
Was he mad at me for asking?
“What? How…how…what about Karyn?” he asked, looking confused and a little furious at the mention of her name.
“I saw a picture of you with her in the newspaper,” I said.
“The paper? What?” His eyes squinted in confusion.
I nodded. “Yes…in the gossip section. It was taken a few days before Thanksgiving at some fundraiser.”
He turned away from me as if to process something and then closed his eyes for a moment, opening them and looking back up at me.
I turned away in discomfort, moving my gaze down to the floor and felt his hand on my chin slowly directing me to look at him.
“Allison. What you saw was me and my EX-girlfriend, Karyn, attending a fundraiser a few days before I ended the relationship for good. I haven’t been with Karyn since the day after Thanksgiving.”
My heart pounded at his revelation.
“So, you…don’t have a girlfriend?” I felt so stupid having confronted him about something that I was apparently misinformed about.
“No. I don’t,” he said firmly.
Relief washed over me, when his intense look turned into a crooked grin.
I shook my head fast, placing my hands over my face. “Oh my gosh…I feel so stupid. I just assumed…I mean, what are the chances it was taken just before you broke up? I am sorry for prying.”
“Please…you had every right to ask. I just mauled your face…if I had a girlfriend, that would obviously make me a real jackass.” He laughed.
I laughed nervously, too, noticing that his ears had turned red as a result of my sudden confrontation.
Our signature awkward silence returned for about a minute and Cedric took my hand in his, rubbing it gently with his thumb, looking down deep in thought, until he was ready to speak.
“After that night that I drove you home, I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Allison. I did have a girlfriend then…Karyn and I were still dating at that time.”
A lump formed in my throat remembering my strong feelings that night, touching his hand as he wrote on mine. Hearing that he did have a girlfriend then upset me immensely. I couldn’t help being jealous of anyone that had him in more ways than me.
He continued, “The more days that passed, the more I couldn’t get you out of my head, Allison. Karyn and I…we weren’t meant to be together regardless of my feelings for you. Some stuff happened over Thanksgiving and I knew I needed to end it, sooner rather than later, so I did.”
I stared in silence at his beautiful face as he continued to speak.
“I went to the diner that following Monday hoping to ask you out. But you didn’t seem to want to talk to me. So, I decided not to.”
Oh. God. Shit…I was so rude to him that day. The whole thing was making total sense now. I sure had f**ked that up.
“Allison, I was floored to see you at my sister’s. I was so happy, though, to have another chance to get to know you.” He beamed.
After he said that, I really wanted to open up to him. “Cedric…I felt it too in the car that night. When you came into the diner that Monday after Thanksgiving, I had just seen the photo in the newspaper and well…that’s why I was cold. I thought you had a girlfriend. I still thought you had a girlfriend up until you told me tonight, but for some reason—” I paused not knowing how to explain my sudden change of heart in that matter.
“So, wait, you kissed me thinking I had a girlfriend?” Cedric’s eyes turned dark again as he gave me a mischievous smile.
I felt flush and was sure my face was red. “I guess I did. But technically, you kissed me first.”
“You bad girl.”
“Cedric—”
“I’m just kidding, sweetheart,” Cedric said, squeezing my knee.
I shivered at his use of that term of endearment. We both laughed and he pulled me toward him and that turned into another round of passionate kissing.
I was on cloud nine after realizing that this man was available and had just confessed that he had been thinking about me, like I was thinking about him all of these weeks. I didn’t want to ruin this and if I continued to kiss him like this, it would certainly turn into more because I had very little willpower when it came to him.
So, I reluctantly pulled myself away from him.
“Cedric, I think we should take this slow,” my brain said, while my body swore at me, continuing to betray me, still rubbing against him.
He immediately stopped kissing me and placed his forehead on mine, closing his eyes. He said nothing, but I knew this meant he agreed if we kept kissing, there was no turning back. Our attraction was just too strong.
“I think I should go,” he said, still leaning against my forehead. “I don’t want to, but I need to.”
I instinctively looked down and noticed the bulge in his pants illustrating that point.
I wanted him to stay so badly. I couldn’t stand to be alone tonight. I especially couldn’t stand to be away from him.
“Ok,” I said, pulling away as he stood up, knowing it was the right thing for tonight.
“Promise me you’ll lock your door and you have my number if you need me,” he said.
“I do.” I smiled.
We walked to the door and stood facing each other, as he put his hand on my cheek.
“Listen, I have to fly to L.A. tomorrow night to meet with a consulting client this week. I won’t be back until late Thursday. Can I take you out Friday night?”
“I’d love that,” I said.
“Great.” Cedric said as his eyes shined.
“Good night, Cedric.”
“Good night, Allison.”
Cedric gave me a peck on the mouth and he hugged me squeezing me tightly for a few seconds.
Then, without another word, he turned around and walked swiftly down the stairs.
I heard the front door shut behind him.
I closed the door to my apartment and leaned against it, my eyes closed and my heart still beating from the elation I was feeling. Elation then turned to emptiness. God, how I wished I just asked him to stay. I can’t bear being alone tonight and wanted to feel his warm body against mine just one more time. I must have stayed leaning against the door like this for a few minutes until I heard footsteps coming back up the stairs.
CHAPTER 18
CEDRIC
As the cold night air hit me, I was over the moon. Snowflakes were starting to fly and it was well past midnight.
God help me, I was crazy for her.
I managed to put all of my anxiety about my past away for a while. I couldn’t think about anything beyond tonight and how she made me feel in the moment. And she returned my feelings.
All this time she had thought I had a girlfriend, which is why she shied away and I finally had an explanation for her earlier distant behavior.
I scurried to my car across the street and got in. I immediately noticed that I had left the wrapped gift from my mother—my supposed reason for coming here in the first place—on the passenger seat.
Shit.
Should I go back in? I wasn’t sure I trusted myself seeing her for another second again tonight. But Mom would be pissed if I had forgotten to give it to her and how would I explain that?
It took all of my willpower to leave her there in the first place. The chemistry between us was unstoppable and would have led to things she probably wasn’t ready for. I didn’t want to f**k this up, especially because of her working relationship with Callie. I had decided I was going to drop it off in front of her door and text her that it was there after I left.
I grabbed the gift and made my way back up the stairs, but before I could place the gift on the ground in front of her apartment, Allison opened the door, startling me.
“Hey…I heard footsteps. Back so soon?” she said softly, blinking her beautiful long eyelashes.
“Forgot to give you this.” I smiled, handing her the present. “Mom would have killed me.”
“Thanks.” She grinned taking the small wrapped box from me, but not taking her eyes off mine.
I stood with my left hand in my pocket and since my right hand was still covered in gauze, I placed it firmly behind my back. My hands needed to be in a good safe place …away from her where they would inevitably cause me trouble.
Coming back was a bad idea.
Already, I was finding it hard to walk away and stood there frozen.
“Cedric…um,” she said before hesitating.
“Allison…I…really…should go,” I said, staring at her lips and not moving an inch. That was it. My last attempt to leave, but my body stayed in place. So help me God, if she says anything about staying now, I am a goner. I can’t seem to leave this girl tonight. I can’t even think about how I am going to spend the week in L.A. not getting to see her until Friday.
Then, Allison reached for my arm.
“Cedric, I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want to be alone tonight. The second you left, I regretted it…and then you came back and I just—”
I cut her off pulling her mouth toward mine and backed her into the apartment, slamming her door shut behind us with my foot. I. had. no. control.
She walked backwards as I kissed her fiercely on the neck falling back onto the couch and I laid on top of her. Her body felt so good. Her br**sts were pressed against my chest and I could feel that they were soft, definitely not fake, like Karyn’s.
Allison smelled like citrus and her erratic breathing was driving me nuts. I have never felt so out of control with a woman before, never wanted anyone this badly.
She pulled back and looked at me. We were both panting and I caressed her face, but I knew what she was thinking, why she pulled back, so I broke from her.
“Allison, you know we don’t have to go there tonight, right? I could just stay and we can do…you know…this…without…that. I don’t want you to think I expect anything more than just being with you tonight. I know we haven’t known each other for very long…but I just…love…being with you.”
“I love being with you too, Cedric. Yes, I think it’s best if we don’t go there tonight. It’s too soon…but I am really glad you came back.”
Allison hugged me and I buried my nose in her neck, breathing in the scent of her skin deeply.
I lifted her off the couch and pulled her into the bedroom. We both collapsed onto the bed, exhausted from earlier. I laid down behind her and breathed in her fruity scent mixed with shampoo. She smelled amazing. I kissed the back of her neck softly until she fell asleep in my arms, the sound of her breathing my lullaby.
This girl is going to be the end of me, I thought before drifting to sleep.
***
I woke to the smell of eggs, bacon and coffee coming from Allison’s kitchen.
I got up from her bed and snuck into the bathroom off the hallway to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and take a leak, before meeting her for breakfast.
I looked like ass, so I wet my hair down and rubbed some toothpaste over my teeth with my finger. I lifted the toilet seat and peed, careful to return the seat to its original position. I sure didn’t need to be making that mistake so soon.