And still, he couldn't let go, had to hold onto her as their bodies drove towards a completion that they simply couldn't fight.
A droplet of liquid fell from his face onto hers and she opened her eyes.
Cole didn't remember crying as a child at the loss of his parents. He hadn't cried when his grandmother had told him she was dying. He'd thought he was too strong to ever break.
How wrong he'd been.
"I love you, Anna. Forever."
At the same time as he made his vow to her with words, he made it with his body, driving up into the spot that was guaranteed to send them both over the edge.
But even as her ocean eyes swirled from green to a dark blue, even as she cried out against him, even as he made sure that she was connected to him in the most elemental of ways...Cole had never felt more separated from her.
She was giving him her body as openly as ever, but even as she'd let him kiss her, touch her, even as she'd cried out with pleasure beneath him, she was holding back the most important thing of all.
Not the love that he knew she still felt for him. No matter how well she thought she'd
"learned" how to be sensual, it was love that made her respond to him.
But she didn't trust him anymore.
And losing the trust of the sweet, innocent woman he'd propositioned in a Las Vegas club was by far the hardest hit Cole had ever taken.
Big enough that he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to play the game again.
His grandmother's words came at him as if she were there in the room with them. "Can't you see your entire future is Anna? Don't throw it all away. You've fought before. Fight again.
Fight like hell to fix what you've done wrong."
"Please, Anna," he said, their bodies still connected, "please give me another chance. I know you deserve a man who hasn't lied, cheated, and stolen. I know you deserve a man who doesn't break bones for a living. But Anna, can't you see that I'm the man who's in love with you? I'm the man who will do every single thing he can to make you happy for the rest of your life. I'm so damn sorry for every mistake I've ever made. But especially this mistake. Because hurting you is the worst thing I've ever done. The stupidest. Please give me the chance to prove to you that I can love you right this time. Please give me the chance to prove to you that I'm not going to blow it."
"Why should I?"
She was angry now and he could feel the tension thrumming through her, through muscle and bone and skin covered in sweat from both their bodies.
"I gave you the chance to love me. I gave you the chance to be a real husband to me. I trusted you, Cole. And you still hurt me. You still did the one thing you knew would tear us apart.
You made sure it would happen. You taught me more than pleasure. You taught me how to close down my heart. How to protect myself from pain. You taught me how dangerous it is to trust."
Her br**sts rasped across his chest as she finally let go of the anger she'd been holding inside, her hands fisted on him as if she wanted to beat him off her.
"You've already had every chance in the world to love me right. So why the hell do you think I would possibly give you another?"
Fight. He needed to keep fighting. For love.
For Anna.
"Because you're brave enough to trust me. Because you're brave enough to know the truth when you finally hear it."
She blinked and he could see droplets on her eyelashes. "Whatever you think you saw in me, it wasn't bravery. It was stupidity."
"No, baby, no more lies."
Still hard inside her despite his cl**ax, he shifted her closer with his hands on her hips, and heard her gasp.
But she didn't pull away.
It wasn't much. It wasn't forgiveness or redemption, but it was something.
And he'd take any little bit of hope he could get.
"People have been running from me my whole life. I've got scary down to an art form.
But you--you've never run." Her eyes widened with surprise. "You've never let me scare you away." He still held her close, their bodies still connected in the most intimate way possible.
"Don't let me scare you, sweet girl. Not when telling Ty those things was just a stupid act, just me trying to pretend I was too tough to fall in love. Not when you're the bravest person I've ever met."
He could barely breathe, the blood rushing in his ears making it hard for him to hear himself say, "Be brave for me, sweetheart."
Chapter Twenty-Three
Anna's family crowded the VIP box, along with her friend Virginia. She'd asked them to come and even though she could see they didn't understand why she was here at Cole's game, they came.
She didn't understand it, either.
All she'd known was that she needed to do this, needed to prove to herself that she really was brave. Cole had said the words to her again and again, but believing it for herself was something else entirely.
Last night, after their crazy floor-sex, he'd gone back to his house. And she'd been so lonely she was surprised she'd survived the night.
Since graduating from college, she'd lived alone. She'd liked the silence, enjoyed reading or listening to whatever music she wanted. Sure, she'd sometimes longed for a partner to share her life with--more as the years went by--but she'd never once felt lonely.
Not until Cole had gone.
Cole had only been in her house twice, but she could feel him everywhere. She'd never look at the entry the same way again, or the kitchen where he'd picked her up and carried her the afternoon after their wedding. And her bedroom...well, she simply couldn't go in there. So she'd slept on the couch.
And wondered all night about Cole.
If he was sleeping.
Or if he was as tormented by loneliness, by desire, by regret as she was.
If he was barely able to keep himself from grabbing his car keys and coming back, just as she was.
If he dialed her number dozens of times, hanging up before the seventh digit each time, like she had.
If he missed her as much as she missed him.
Sunlight streamed into the box as Anna yawned. Even with her new dog--the name on his tag was Lucky, amazingly enough--she'd been so lonely, she'd woken up both herself and him from crying more than once during the night.
Frankly, the hardest thing of all at the moment was trying to act like her mother and father and sisters and brothers-in-law and her friend weren't all looking at her like she was going to break in two.
Julie walked in and came over to introduce herself. "Hi everyone. I'm Julie Calhoun. My husband is one of the guys down there."
Alan, one of Anna's brothers-in-law, all but leapt out of his seat to shake Julie's hand.
"Wow, so nice to meet you. Ty is a legend. Congratulations."
If Julie was at all overwhelmed or amused by this greeting, she didn't show it. "I'll be sure to pass on your thoughts to him." She shook her head, laughing. "Although, frankly, that head of his doesn't need to get any bigger."
Knowing exactly how in love Julie and Ty were, Anna's heart squeezed with such longing she felt choked with it.
"Do you have a moment to chat?" Julie asked her quietly, after meeting the rest of her family.
"Sure." Anna forced a smile, knowing her family's eyes were on them as they moved out into the hall.
"How are you doing?" There was no pity in Julie's voice, and none in her eyes. Only natural concern."I'm here." Anna honestly didn't know how she was doing, just that she'd had to come to Cole's game.
She was surprised to see Julie smile. "I think they must put something in the Outlaws'
water bottles to make sure they're irresistible." Her smile fell away. "Ty wanted to call you to say how sorry he was for his part in all of this. But I knew he'd only make things worse."
"None of this is Ty's fault." Anna shrugged, trying to act like she was more okay than she was, just as she'd been doing all morning. "It isn't even all Cole's fault. It's my fault, too."
Julie looked down. "You're still wearing his ring."
She knew she should have taken it off, that it should have been off since Saturday morning when the news broke about their fake marriage.
Julie looked like she was about to say something more, when Melissa and Dominic came around the corner. If they were surprised to see her, they didn't show it.
Wanting to do anything but have another conversation about her personal debacle, she said to Dominic, "My father is a huge fan of yours. Would you mind coming in to say hello to him? It would absolutely make his year."
And as the great Dominic DiMarco charmed not only her father, but her entire family, Anna was able to step out of the spotlight for a little while. Only her mother continued to watch her with such deep concern that it broke her daughter's heart all over again.
* * *
During her breaks at school the previous week, when everything had been going so well with Cole, Anna had studied up on football. For her second-ever game, she was no longer in the dark, and couldn't help but be wrapped up in the action, especially with Cole out there. And the truth was, knowing him so well lent an extra layer to the game. When he sacked the quarterback, she knew it was his testosterone coming into play. When he crushed a running back in the hole, she had to smile at his complete and utter confidence.
It had been a little over twenty-four hours since the article about them had hit. Twenty-four hours of being angry and feeling hurt and betrayed. And yet, she was here.
With the ring he'd put on her finger a week ago in Las Vegas still glittering on her left hand.
The field blurred before her eyes as she looked out on it and accepted the truth.
He'd hurt her feelings deeply and she didn't like him very much right now...but she still loved him. She would always love him.
He'd deserved to be punished by her for what he'd done--she valued herself enough to know that--but not being with him was punishing her, too.
A small half-smile curved her lips at the thought of taking him back--and finding other, far more pleasurable ways to make him pay. But then, gasps sounded in the room and half the people came out of their seats to press against the glass.
Anna looked around at everyone. "What happened?"
Her mother's face had gone completely white. "It's Cole. He was hit."
Anna jumped out of her seat and looked out the window, but she couldn't see Cole, only a dozen people making a circle around someone on the field.
Anna spun away, pushing blindly through the crowd in the VIP box for the door. She needed to be with him, needed to see for herself that he was okay.
"Anna." She realized there was a hand on her arm stopping her from running down the hall. Dominic turned her in the opposite direction. "The field is this way."
With that, he took off down the hallway, and she was so glad he wasn't waiting for her to catch up. As an ex-pro player, he was naturally fast, but love gave her strength and speed she shouldn't have possessed. By the time they got to the tunnel, she was running past Dominic, past all of the guards.
Heading straight for Cole, she didn't see the crowd on their feet, didn't notice the eerie silence. All she could see was her husband lying on the grass.
All she could feel was love.
Not anger. Not bitterness.
Only love.
She'd thought coming to his game was being brave. But as she pushed through the crowd of coaches and trainers, she finally realized what real bravery was.
It was loving someone so much that she would take his pain as her own.
And it was forgiving the little mistakes, the bad decisions, the sometimes hurtful words, because she knew that none of that really mattered when it came right down to it.
Her husband had told her she was brave, time and time again. She hadn't believed him, hadn't thought he was seeing the real her--when all along he'd known her better than anyone.
"Be brave for me, sweetheart," was what he'd said to her last night before she'd sent him home .
She hadn't been able to do it then.
But she would be brave for him now.
* * *
Jesus, his head hurt. And he was tired. So damn tired. Cole wanted to stay asleep, knew that fading back to black would be a blessed relief from the pain shooting through him, head to toe.
But something stopped him from drifting away.
A soft hand in his, slender but strong fingers gripping his.
Anna.
No. She couldn't really be there, had no reason at all to be at his game. But the hand in his wasn't letting go. And he knew that touch. Would never, ever be able to forget her sweetly sinful caresses.
He had to open his eyes and even though it felt like he was trying to break through cement across his eyelids, he worked like hell to get the seal broken so that he could see his Anna.
Sweet Anna.
His reward was the most beautiful girl in the world smiling down at him. She wasn't crying. She didn't look scared.
She looked brave.
For him.
She was brave enough to declare her feelings for him in front of the entire stadium and the millions of people watching the game on TV.
He'd taken her love for granted once. He wouldn't ever do it again.
"I love you, Cole."
The words he hadn't heard her say since Saturday morning, words he'd been so desperate for, were like a shot of morphine, instantly taking away the pain.
"Ma'am, we need you to move away."
But instead of leaving him, she moved closer. She leaned down, the tips of her hair brushing against his face, her breath sweet on his earlobe.
"And I trust you."
Cole had been hit enough times over the years to know when to try to get up on his own and when to let the medics carry him off the field. But he hadn't had Anna at his side any of those times.
He hadn't had her trust, her love, to make him strong.
And now, there was something he needed to do, a reason he needed to get up that had nothing to do with playing football.
Pain came screaming back as he rolled to his side. Arms, hands tried to get him to lie flat, but when he growled at them to leave him the f*ck alone, they backed off.
Only Anna remained, her hands giving him the strength he needed to roll to his knees.
Stars blinked in his vision and nausea roiled in his stomach as he pulled himself upright, still on his knees. Anna was right there with him, breathing with him. Apart from his grandmother, he'd never had anyone to lean on.
Until Anna.
She was the strong one, the woman who would be strong enough to give birth to their children, the woman who would be strong enough to forgive him for acting stupid sometimes, the woman who was strong enough to face down an entire stadium of people who probably thought she was crazy for still loving him.