“Not so loud, baby. Everyone will hear you.”

I pull Carter’s hand off of my mouth long enough to spout even more nonsense as he slowly pushes himself inside me.

“You should stick it in my ass.”

“I am not going to stick it in your ass,” Carter says with a muted groan as he moves a little deeper.

“Come on, you know you want to stick it in my ass,” I goad him loudly.

His hand comes back up to cover my mouth and my laughter turns into a pleasure-filled whimper as he pushes all the way inside me and holds himself still.

“You should know that as a guy, I am pre-programmed to always want to stick it in your ass. I hope tomorrow you will appreciate my self control,” Carter explains as he slowly starts moving inside me.

“If you knock on my backdoor right now, I will totally let you in,” I giggle.

Carter stops again and takes a couple of deep calming breaths.

“Careful back there, though, there’s a rickety step. Don’t fall in my backdoor.”

Carter tries not to laugh as he begins thrusting harder, forcing my hips to bump against the edge of the sink. Thoughts of sperm and the porch by my backdoor flow out of my mind.

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“Fuck, why did you have to start talking about sticking it in your ass? I’m not going to be able to last long,” he complains as he tries to slow down.

“Just shut up and keep going. I’m too drunk to care right now, and you should appreciate that shit!” I yell around his hand that's still held against my mouth.

The faint sounds of horns honking still make their way into my brain as he curses and moves faster against me, his orgasm barreling through him like a freight train.

His hand drops from my mouth and he braces his arms on either side of mine on the edge of the sink as he buries his head in the side of my neck. He comes with a muffled shout and I grip the sink tighter so we won’t topple over.

We stood there breathing heavy for a few minutes before he pulls himself out of me and we right our clothes. He gives me a quick kiss and promises me five of my very own orgasms in repayment before we open the door and walk out into the aisle of the bus.

All of our friends are standing there cheering and clapping, and it was then that we noticed the bus was stopped and a police officer was standing behind them with his arms crossed in front of him.

“Oh my God, we got arrested?” I ask Carter.

Why the f**k don’t I remember going to jail? Was I somebody’s bitch now?

“No,” he laughs. “We just got a ticket for indecent exposure. Turns out Jim didn’t explain the bathroom door situation clearly. That little lever you were trying to slide over? THAT’S what blacks out the window so no one can see in. Oops.”

Drew starts laughing and I noticed that he inches close enough to me so he can put his ear right next to mine and hear Carter’s end of the conversation I shove him away when I realize that’s what he was doing.

“Ha ha get it, Claire? Back door action? I was talking about the bathroom door. Or was I talking about you shouting for Carter to f**k you in the ass over and over? Hmmm, I’m not sure. They are equally entertaining to think about,” Drew says with a laugh.

Oh my God. This day can’t get any worse.

“So anyway, I was just calling to make sure you were alive. As you can see, everyone ended up crashing at our place since the bus stopped there first. Jim gave Jenny a ride home this morning to take a shower and left Liz and Drew behind to make sure you didn’t choke on your own vomit or anything. I’m on my way to pick Gavin up from your dad’s and then we’re meeting my parents for brunch. There’s been a slight change of plans. Instead of them coming to our house, they rented out the small party room at the Oberlin Inn where they’re staying. They wanted to invite your dad, Drew, Jenny, Liz, and Jim and they didn’t want to impose on us.”

I quickly say good-bye to Carter and kick Liz and Drew out of the house so I can take a shower and start to feel a little more human.

Hopefully, that will be the extent of my embarrassing behavior from last night.

7. Whore Dizzle

I shower, dress and walk through the lobby of the Oberlin Inn in record time. I no longer reek of stale liquor, but I’m pretty sure I still look like ass. A view of my reflection in a mirror behind the registration desk confirms my suspicions.

“Mommy, you look old today,” Gavin says as we walk hand in hand around the corner and down the hall. “Like old lady and eye balls.”

“Gee, thanks. I love you too,” I mumble.

Carter had got a call to come into work to fill out a form that will add Gavin to his health benefits, so after he picked Gavin up from my dad’s and dropped him back off with me, he ran up there and said he would meet us at the inn.

Yeah, that’s exactly what I want to do. Walk into the lion’s den alone.

I had made a quick call to Drew and Jenny and asked if I could pick them up on the way for moral support. I’ve spoken to Carter’s parents a few times on the phone since we moved in together, but this will be the first time they actually see me and meet Gavin. I am beyond nervous about making a good impression. They are the complete opposite from what I'm used to. They never swear, they only drink on special occasions, and I'm pretty sure they've never puked in anyone’s lap after a night out bar hopping. I figured since Mr. and Mrs. Ellis already know Drew and haven’t forbid Carter from hanging out with him yet, I should be okay.

“I still can’t believe you don’t remember screaming at that old lady in the parking lot. It was priceless!” Drew whispers from behind me as we walk into the party room and see Carter and his parents talking to a waiter.




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