I can’t pretend to know what you’re feeling, but if you’re missing me as much as I miss you, then I’m so sorry, baby. Leaving you like this was never my intention. I can’t even begin to apologize for all the things I’ll miss in your life. But I need to tell you a few things:
Hug your mother often, she’s going to need it.
Don’t spend your life making other people happy or doing what you think will fit in those immaculate plans of yours. Take a chance. If you won’t do it for you, then do it for me. You weren’t born to be confined to a roadmap.
Live, baby. Laugh, cry, scream, and love. Realize that every moment you have is worth every drop of sweat and tears you can give it.
I suppose, since apparently I’m dead, I can say this: ditch the jerk-face. You may think you love Riley, but one day real love will amaze you. Move on and find someone worthy.
Always remember that I love you, and have since the moment you were on your way to us.
That’s it, baby. You have been one of my greatest joys, Ember. I promise that you might not see me, but I’m still there, still waiting to watch you get married, graduate college, and begin your life. I’m already so proud of you, and I know I’ll be proud of whatever you choose to do with your life. You are strong, so very strong.
Thank you for making my life worth living.
I love you, December, be brave.
Daddy
My fingers trembled, but I managed to fold the letter and get it back in the envelope. For a few moments, I studied the happy reunions, the smiling faces and open laughter.
The love that filled this room was the stuff of movies and legends. It was the happy ending of every fairy tale, the epilogue of an epic love story.
Epic love stories needed epic loves.
Who would grasp onto Josh when he marched in from deployment? Who would kiss him good-bye and give him someone to come home to? Who would he lift into his arms and hold in thankfulness?
Me.
I was his, and he was mine. And I was done being afraid.
I scurried down the bleachers, checking my watch: 10:45. Shit.
“Sam!” I ran headlong into her.
“Whoa, who’s on fire?” She laughed. “Girl, have you checked out some of these soldiers? They haven’t seen a woman in a while, and I’m betting I’m right up that—”
“Sam!” I interrupted, grabbing her shoulders. “Can you get me up north in the next fifteen minutes?”
A grin broke across her face. “Feeling like another ceremony needs you more?”
“Yes.”
“About fucking time!”
We raced to the car, avoiding strollers and duffle bags. We pivoted around kissing couples and dodged between packed vehicles ready to take their soldiers home. Sam’s car was in the middle of the gridlock, locked in. “Shit!” I yelled, scaring the nearest couple.
“Take mine!” My mom raced up behind us, keys in hand and perfectly balanced on her high heels. “It’s there! Take it!”
She pointed to where her Yukon was perched at the very front. A hop over the curb and we’d be on the road. I turned back and hugged her. “Thank you.”
She squeezed me to her for a millisecond before pushing me away. “Go!”
Sam and I slipped past three more rows of cars, and I unlocked the doors as we ran. “I drive faster!” she shouted.
I tossed her the keys and jumped to the passenger side. She had the engine cranked and the car in gear before I yanked the door closed. We jolted over the curb and into the grass before gunning it on the road.
I slammed my seat belt home. “Faster!”
“I’m already going fifteen over, and speeding on a military installation is a federal offense!” She cut back and passed someone illegally.
Once we got through the gate and merged onto the highway, she was a speed demon, taking the speedometer places my mother would never want to know about. There was no time to be nervous about what I was doing. I was too busy cop-spotting and praying for my life.
Seven minutes. We had seven minutes, and we were easily twice that away at normal speeds. Then again, I expected Sam to break into warp in just a matter of seconds. She took the off-ramp so quickly I grabbed the oh-shit handle, and prepared to flip, squeezing my eyes shut.
“You seriously think I don’t know what I’m doing?” she mocked and merged into traffic.
“Sam, that light is red!” She busted through the light, tearing up the hillside to our college.
She raised her eyebrows at my shock. “What? I looked both ways!”
“Incredible. We’re going to freaking die before I can even get there!” She yanked the wheel hard to the left, cutting through the resident parking to get to the building where the ceremony was.
The brakes squealed, and my body shot forward, stopped only by the seat belt before slamming back into the seat. “Sam!” I yelled.
“It’s 11:01! Get your ass in there!”
I threw open the door and bolted across the pavement. “Thank you!” I called back over my shoulder before pulling open the heavy glass door. The hallways were eerily quiet.
“You here for ROTC?” a guard asked.
I smoothed back my mess of hair and straightened my shrug over my shoulders. “Yes, I am.”
He pointed down the hall. “Room 114, but you’re late.”
I nodded to him and took off running, thankful I’d worn flats today. I’d have been all over the place in heels. I skidded to a stop in front of the room, confirmed the number, and slipped in, blending with families as they took their seats.