Worried he was going to say something else even sweeter—and knowing damn well the wall she was trying to build around her heart didn’t have a chance of holding out against much more—she decided his family seemed like safe ground.
“Speaking of special,” she said, “I’d love to hear about your siblings. Even with just three kids in our family it was really loud and crazy in the house I grew up in.”
“Loud and crazy is dead on,” he agreed, lighting up the way he did every time he talked about his family.
One day he was going to be the most spectacular father. Husband, too. She tried to ignore the pangs of longing in her chest at those unbidden thoughts, along with the shot of jealousy that hit her over the lucky woman who would share those things with him. But somehow, even knowing she was being ridiculous to feel those things for a man she’d only known three days didn’t make her feel any differently.
“Lori said she’s a twin. Are she and her sister really similar?” Marcus laughed at that for long enough that she said, “I’m taking that to be a no.”
Still grinning, he said, “Their nicknames are Naughty and Nice.”
“I take it Lori’s Naughty?”
“And Nice, a.k.a. Sophie, is a quiet, mild-mannered librarian.”
“Do they get along?”
“Sure,” he agreed, “except for when they don’t.”
She managed to remember enough of what she’d read about Smith’s life over the years to say, “They’re the only girls in your family, aren’t they?”
“Yup.”
“It must have been ugly when Lori and Sophie started dating.”
“They’ve started dating?”
He looked so serious that she almost believed him for a second. Laughing, she said, “How many potential boyfriends have you had to beat up?”
“Enough that they should still be celibate.”
Still laughing, she said, “Tell me about your brothers.”
A few minutes later, her brain was reeling as she tried to put together the fact that there was a firefighter, a pro baseball player, a movie star, a photographer, and a whiz with cars all in one family.
“You Sullivan boys must have kept your mother busy growing up.”
“Still do.”
“It must have been so hard for you to have so much responsibility thrust on you, just a kid who had no choice but to step into his father’s shoes to take care of his brothers and sisters.”
She caught his expression too late to take her words back. He’d looked so open when he’d been talking to her about his family. His eyes weren’t completely shuttered yet, but he couldn’t hide the pain her words had brought to the surface.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, squeezing his hand with hers. “That was thoughtless of me. I’m just sorry you had to deal with so much, so young.”
“No, you’re right. I did feel like I needed to step into his shoes. And I wanted to. I wanted to help.”
“How did your mother deal with it all?”
“She was always there for us.”
“She sounds amazing,” Nicola said, and then thinking how she would have felt in his mother’s shoes if she’d lost the man she loved and had a family with, said, “She must have shed a lot of tears for him.”
“I’m sure she did, but I never saw it.”
She squeezed his hand tighter. “Did you?"
Marcus was silent for a moment. “Do you remember telling me how you’re willing to put up with the pressures of fame if it means you can play your music for people?” When she nodded, he said, “Making sure my family is happy has been worth any tradeoff."
“You’re the one who’s special,” she told him as her heart broke for him, for all that he’d held inside for so long, and all that he’d had to be for so many people. She knew it was why he was the spectacular man he was today...and yet she wished that it had all been easier for him. “I love how close you are to your family. I don’t know many other people who feel that way.”
“Family is important to you, too, isn’t it?”
“Very.” She’d already told him how much she loved children. Now she found herself saying, “I’ve always wanted a big family of my own. A family like yours, with lots of brothers and sisters who all fight and love in equal measure.”
“How are you planning to balance your career with having babies?”
Nicola shrugged. “I’ve always figured if I want something bad enough I’ll figure out a way to make it work.”
“What else do you want?”
She gave him a wide smile. “This."
She leaned over and kissed him hard and fast before letting him get back to the business of driving them to their secret destination.
* * *
He pulled off the freeway onto a side road and as the terrain grew wilder, after so many days and months spent in windowless studios and concert halls, she turned on the radio until she found a song she liked, then gave in to the urge to roll down her window and stick her head out of it into the sun and wind like a happy dog as she sang along to the catchy Bangles song about walking like an Egyptian.
Marcus never let go of her hand the entire time and as she felt pure joy move through her, she worked to drink it in, to savor the incredible taste of it.
They hit a bump in the road and Marcus pulled her back inside, her rear hitting the leather seat with a thump and a burst of laughter she couldn’t possibly contain. When Marcus started laughing along with her, her entire soul was swept up in the joy on his face.