We slid down so we were now lying in the truck, looking up at the stars. He kept an arm around me, and I stayed curled into his side, my head resting on his shoulder. Our morning hugs were the most we ever touched now, so I closed my eyes and enjoyed every bit of this, knowing it wouldn’t last forever. I listened to his heartbeat, breathed in his clean, masculine scent, and memorized the way my body felt pressed up against his. His heartbeat picked up when I lightly ran my fingers across his chest and I smiled to myself.
His chest rumbled as he said, “What do you want to do for the rest of your life, Cassidy?”
Stay here with you. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I know you don’t want to go to school. Just wondered what you wanted to do. If you had a certain career in mind.” Gage’s deep voice got even huskier as he continued. “If you actually wanted to do something with your photography, or get married and have kids, if there’s somewhere you want to move to . . .” He trailed off.
No kids. I refuse to have children. “I don’t really know. I’ve never thought about it.”
“Seriously? You’ve never thought about your future and where you’d like to be? What you’d like to be?”
“Not once.” The most I’d ever thought about the future was in terms of weeks.
“I thought girls start planning their weddings when they’re little, and have crazy dreams like being an actress or a singer.”
I shrugged. When I was little, I wanted to grow up to be a princess. But my dad treated me like one, so I’d already thought I was one. The day he died, all dreams of the future stopped, and I hadn’t had one since. “What about you?”
“I want to finish college and move back to the ranch so I can take over it for my dad. Other than a family, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“That sounds perfect for you.” I was already jealous of his future wife.
“You’ve really never thought about it? Never aspired to be a doctor, or a scientist, or a coffee shop girl?”
I laughed and rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see. “Nope.”
“Everyone thinks about their future, but if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine, I get it,” he joked, and squeezed me tighter. When I didn’t say anything for a few minutes, he whispered, “Are you with me, or did you fall asleep?”
“Gage, can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone?” I asked softly.
“Of course you can.”
“I wasn’t lying to you, I really haven’t ever thought about what I wanted to do with my life. I, uh . . .” Clearing my throat, I tried again. “I never thought I’d live long enough to be able to move out of that house, so it seemed pointless to think about the future.”
“Cass,” he breathed, “I’m so—”
“No, I didn’t tell you that so you’d feel sorry for me. I just didn’t want you to think I was keeping something from you. I want you to know who I really am, Gage.”
He didn’t talk for a moment. “Thank you for trusting me with that.” He rolled me onto my back, his left arm still under me, and propped himself on his elbow. Brushing back loose strands of hair, he ran his fingers down my jaw; my eyes shut and I tilted my head back when he continued the line down my neck. “You’re away from them; you’ll never have to see them again. You have your whole life ahead of you, darlin’.” His voice dropped another octave and my eyes shot back open when I felt his breath on my lips. “It’s okay to dream about the future.”
My heart started racing as he slowly lowered his body to mine. Heat zinged through my entire body when his chest pressed against me, his lips still hovering less than an inch from my own. Our eyes searched each other, and his green eyes darkened as he leaned in closer to brush his lips across my forehead and both cheeks. Pulling back slightly, he waited, giving me the opportunity to stop him. I ran a hand through his messy black hair and curled it around the back of his neck, giving the slightest pressure so he’d know I wanted this too. A soft smile broke across his face and he leaned toward me again. Just before his lips could meet mine, my cell phone blared Tyler’s ringtone.
We both started and stared at each other for a long moment before I reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone. “Hey, Tyler.”
“Hey! God, I can’t wait to see you, you won’t believe what a shitty day it’s been. I’m about to leave but I’m starving. Do you want me to pick up some food?”
Gage was still hovering less than an inch above my face, his eyes locked on mine.
“Uh, no. We already ate. We went for a drive though, so you might make it home before we do.”
“Oh. Yeah, okay.”
I sighed and shut my eyes. I hated not being there for Tyler, even if it was just when he got home from a long day at school. He’d been there for me almost every night for eleven years; I owed it to him to be waiting for him when he got back. “We’re on our way, promise. See you soon.”
“All right, love you, Cassi.”
“Love you too, Ty.”
Gage was off me and out of the bed of the truck before I could even end the call. I knew I’d ruined the moment the second I’d grabbed for the phone, but there was no way I could ignore a call from Ty. Surely he knew that.
“We better get going.” He acted like nothing had just happened. “It’s already really late, and you have to work in the morning.”
I wanted to groan into my hands. I couldn’t believe I’d just stopped that kiss from happening. And there was no way I could salvage the situation now. Gage didn’t say anything the entire way back; his right hand was on the steering wheel, making his body lean away from me. I knew this was my fault, so I stayed pressed against the passenger-side door and didn’t push him to talk to me either. Tyler tried to take me into the bedroom as soon as we got home, but Gage stopped us.
“Tyler, can I talk to you for a minute first?”
“Sure, man.” He hugged me quickly and told me he’d meet me in our room after.
I waited anxiously on the edge of the bed for when he’d come back, my knees bouncing up and down. Thankfully he wasn’t in there long and not five minutes later he was walking into our room, shutting and locking the door behind him.
“Cassi, you need to leave Gage alone for a while.”
I froze. “What? Why?”
He looked at the door, then back to me, speaking softly. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you two tonight. But he’s pissed, said you needed to understand that you’re like a sister to him and nothing more.”
I let my face fall into my expressionless mask, but inside I felt like I’d been punched and was trying to catch my breath. I didn’t understand—Gage had been about to kiss me. He’d been the one pressing his body to mine, brushing featherlight kisses on my face. Why would he do that if he didn’t actually like me? My stomach churned at the thought of him seeing me as his sister. But this was probably for the best. I had been getting in too deep with him, and I needed to guard myself. My father and Tyler—the only men I would ever need in my life. I didn’t have room in my eternally shattered heart for anyone else . . . including Gage Carson. My chest tightened and I had to blink my eyes rapidly as that lie almost forced me to tears again. When I had a handle on my emotions, I looked up at Ty and gave him a weak smile.
“I understand.” I stood up and went to the bathroom to quickly get ready for bed before slipping under the covers with Tyler. He curled his body around mine and I was once again so thankful for him. My rock. He always made everything better by holding me, even heartache.
THE NEXT MORNING I got dressed for my opening shift and headed out to the kitchen. Ty was letting me borrow his Jeep today, so I wouldn’t have to further impose on Gage. Apparently he’d also been complaining about having to “be my chauffeur.” It’s not like I asked him to drive me, he just never gave me a choice. I rounded the corner and smacked right into his brick wall of a chest.
Gage laughed softly and wrapped his arms around me. “Morning, darlin’.”
Placing both hands on his chest, I pushed him off me and stepped around him to grab a granola bar. I knew I was being rude, but I’d spent the majority of the night trying not to cry at the thought of the man I loved seeing me as his sister, so I was extremely grouchy this morning. Walking back around him, I continued for the front door and didn’t stop ’til he caught my arm and turned me back to him.
His eyebrows were scrunched together in confusion. “Are you gonna at least wait for me to get my keys?”
“I’m driving myself.” I dangled Tyler’s keys between us. “Have a good day.”
“Wait, Cassidy, wh—”
“What, Gage?” I hissed. “What do you want?”
He dropped my arm and took a step back. “I th—talked to Tyler last night, I thought you’d be . . .” He trailed off as my eyes narrowed at him.
“You thought what, Gage? Thought I’d be happy? Or I’d be okay with that?” I laughed humorlessly and took a few more steps toward the cars before turning back to him. “Do you have any idea how frustrating you are?”
“Cass.” He took a few tentative steps toward me, reaching his hand to me.
“Don’t! Don’t touch me. I’m sure in a few weeks, I’ll look back and realize how stupid I’m being right now. And maybe by then I’ll be okay with what you want, but right now I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want you to touch me, and I don’t want to see you.” Hell, I already knew that I was overreacting. But I could have sworn he felt something for me too, something more than a sibling bond. And he’d let me believe that, he’d even encouraged it, just to have Tyler tell me to back off. No freaking wonder Brynn had thought they were a couple. He probably went around doing these kinds of things to every girl.