All this may appear absurd to you. I daresay you are right, but I am
only analysing for you an enchantment which still influences me like a
dream. While longing for the virginal delights which awaited me, my
tumultuous senses were plunged into certain apprehensions at once
anxious and sweet. How am I to explain it to you? Sultan though I have
been in my life, never before have I come in for such a delightful
windfall of pleasures, my heart having been generally occupied, as you
know, with much less worthy objects. All at once I was overwhelmed by
the idea that they had doubtless misunderstood the reserve which I had
affected in their company. According to their harem traditions, customs,
and laws, I was their legitimate master and husband: was it not quite
likely, then, that they believed me indifferent or even disdainful of
their charms? Troubled at this reflection, I was seized with a dreadful
pang of conscience. What could they suppose? Good heavens! Ought I to
wait till the next day to dissipate their doubts, and justify myself for
such strange coldness--coldness which may have seemed like
indifference? I had no sooner conceived this thought than my desire
concentrated itself upon one object, to see Kondjé-Gul again.
I knew all the domestic arrangements of El Nouzha. In the centre of the
edifice is a vast circular hall, to which the daylight is admitted by a
cupola of ground glass, supported by pillars of white marble. Lamps
hanging between the pillars give out a mysterious light. Once arrived
there, I listened. All was silent. I found Kondjé-Gul's chamber, and
went close up to it. I listened again, with my ear to the door. An
indistinct rustling which I heard, apprized me that she was not yet in
bed. With key in hand, I still hesitated before opening. At last I made
up my mind.
Picture to yourself a sweetly perfumed room, both rich and coquettish in
its arrangements, lined with Indian silk hangings of gay colours, and
illumined by the soft light of a small chandelier of three branches. In
front of a large glass Kondjé-Gul was seated, her long hair reaching
down to the floor. With her bare arms uplifted, and her head turned
backwards, she held in her hand a golden comb. Seeing me, she uttered a
little cry, got up with a bound, and blushing all the while, and fixing
upon me her great frightened eyes, she rested motionless and almost in a
tremble. Her agitation communicated itself to me.
"Did I frighten you?" I commenced, trying to speak with a firm voice;
"and will you pardon me for coming in like this?"