“We can’t.” I shook my head, wiping a shaky hand over my face. I needed fresh air, I felt too hot. I couldn’t deal with all of this right now. I looked back at him and whimpered at the sad and devastated expression that I saw on his face.
He looked back out the windshield, a tear slid down his face slowly. “I can’t see you make a life with someone else. I can’t lose you, baby,” he mumbled. “I love you more than anything, more than life itself. I have no life without you, nothing worth living for.” His sad tone actually made my insides tremble; I could almost feel the pain and torture in his words. “I’m never going to get you back after this, am I?”
I gulped as he turned his head to look at me. His brown eyes that I loved so much looked desperate, dejected, and resigned. His sorrowful expression made me feel nauseous as the hair on the back of my neck prickled. “I don’t think so,” I admitted. Nothing would ever be the same after this. I couldn’t just forgive him for everything. He’d killed someone; he wasn’t the person who I thought he was.
He nodded, his hands tightening on the wheel. “I can’t see you with someone else. You’re mine, forever, just like we always said,” he whispered. “I love you, baby.”
Before I could answer, or even think about what he meant by that, he released the parking brake and shoved his foot down on the accelerator, narrowly avoiding a collision with a car that was in the process of pulling around us. I gasped as the force of the take-off threw me back into the seat. Suddenly the tyres squealed as he twisted the wheel quickly. My eyes flicked up, shocked, only to see that we were now heading towards the metal barrier of the bridge.
“Luke! What the hell are you doing?” I screamed. But my words were lost in the blast of noise as the car hit the metal barrier with a deafening crack. I gripped the edges of my seat, watching with wide, frightened eyes as the protective side of the bridge just crumpled under the force of the crash, part of it splintering up and hitting the windscreen hard enough to shatter it. Small lumps of glass spattered across my lap, stinging my exposed skin. Everything seemed to happen too fast for me to comprehend. First the glass smashed, and then the car hurtled off of the side of the bridge, heading for the dark, watery depths that I knew were below.
Chapter 29
My stomach lurched up to my throat as we seemed suspended in the air for a second before we were plummeting down the thirty or so feet towards the river below. The sounds of Luke still gunning the engine were all I could hear as the car tipped forward slightly so I could see the water as it rushed up towards me. I couldn’t even scream. It felt like I was paralysed as every muscle in my body seemed to go stiff with fear. I watched in horror as the water got closer and closer, filling my vision in a swirling mass of light brown.
The front of the car broke the surface first. A loud crunch, a twisting of metal and a deafening roar of water filled my ears. My seatbelt pinned me back into my chair, seeming to cut off my breathing as pain exploded everywhere at once, so much pain that I couldn’t even distinguish where it hurt the most. From the corner of my eye I saw Luke’s body being thrown forward from the force of the crash. He put his arms up to protect himself, but it was no use, the momentum of falling and hitting the water made him defenceless. His head collided with the steering wheel, and his body went limp almost instantly.
That was when the brown, murky, icy cold water started gushing in through the windshield so fast that it made a loud roaring sound as it pooled around my legs, getting higher and higher with each passing second. It was so piercingly cold that it felt like I was being stabbed with a thousand tiny needles everywhere it touched. For a couple of seconds I didn’t know what to do. I just sat there, watching as death flowed in a relentless stream, filling the car quicker than I thought possible. I was numb. My brain just wouldn’t work; my mind was blank as the shock of what had happened took over. Luke had just driven us both off of the bridge because he couldn’t bear the thought of being without me.
As soon as my thoughts turned to Luke I seemed to wake up out of the trance I’d somehow slipped into. Whipping my head around I saw him slumped forward over the wheel. Water gushed down on the top of his head, plastering his hair to his face. I screamed, thrashing, trying to unbuckle my seatbelt, but it was stuck. I reached out and grabbed his shoulder, squeezing hard as the water reached my stomach.
“Luke! Are you okay? Luke?” I screamed, shaking him. He didn’t answer; his head just rolled lifelessly on his neck as blood tricked down the side of his face, diluted by the constant stream of water that flooded in.
The car was still moving, slower now as we sunk deeper under the water. Panic took over completely as I screamed and screamed for help, pulling Luke’s body towards me as the water started to rise up to my chest. I tilted his head back, praying he was just unconscious instead of dead. I fought desperately against my seatbelt, wriggling, trying to get free. The dark, murky water swirled around me, now up to my chin as I fumbled with my belt, fruitlessly pressing the release button over and over so I could get out and drag myself and Luke to safety.
“Help us!” I screamed hysterically. “Someone help us!” I couldn’t get my seatbelt loose, I was trapped, and Luke was no help at all. I shook him roughly, trying to wake him up. “Luke! Wake up, please wake up, please!”
The water rose higher, it seemed to be filling the car so quickly that it was almost impossible. The car was completely submerged now. I twisted in my seat, looking out the back window, seeing the daylight fading as we sank lower and lower into the river that seemed bottomless.
“Luke, wake up! We need to get out quickly!”
I had no idea what to do as my body was pinned into my seat. The water rose higher, so high that I had to tilt my head right back to keep my mouth above the surface. Luke’s body was floating lifelessly next to me, his arms weightless as his clothes billowed out around him. I whimpered as the water went into my mouth, and I knew that my air was fast running out. Pretty soon the water would rise so far that it would go over my mouth. I gulped in lungful’s of air, thumping my hand down on my seatbelt release, trying in vain to get it off, but it was no use.
A couple of drops of water trickled into my mouth, so I strained my neck, pushing up against the restraining belt as hard as I could. I screamed for help again, choking as water flooded my mouth. I whimpered and took one last deep breath just as the water rose over my lips. Panic surged over me now that I was submerged and trapped. I straightened my arm, keeping Luke on the surface of the water for as long as possible in case help came, but the water was almost touching the roof now, so I knew he would be out of time too.
Almost instantly the icy cold made my whole body ache as my arms and legs took on a weightless sensation. The only thing keeping me in place was the strip of nylon that was designed to save my life but was actually now sentencing me to death. I squinted through the dirty water, looking around frantically for anything that could help me get free.
My lungs were hurting. I needed to breathe. My body seemed to react immediately and without my conscious permission. I sucked in a breath, immediately choking as water flowed in. Swallowing, I clamped my lips together as my panicked tears mingled with the cold river water. I was going to die. The water was everywhere, there was no escape. This was it. Seconds passed, maybe minutes, I had no idea of time, no awareness of anything other than the fact that I was surrounded by freezing cold and that the light was slowly fading around me where we continued to sink.
Help us, please help us! I screamed the words over and over in my head, but no help came.
I had to breathe again. I couldn’t hold it anymore; I had no other choice as my lungs actually ached from the lack of oxygen. As I choked in another round of water I could literally feel it in my lungs. I could feel it filling me up. It felt like I was being crushed from the inside out, my chest felt full to bursting point.
I squeezed my eyes shut. My body had obviously taken more than it could and I was sick, expelling some of the water again. Even that wasn’t a relief though, because as I panicked, I sucked it straight back in again. The dim light from the back of the car was life, it was air, it was home. It was so close, so painstakingly close, but I could do nothing to get to it. I stopped struggling; I stopped fighting and thrashing because I knew it then. I was going to die. I accepted it. In a way I almost welcomed it because the cold water inside me was more painful than anything I’d felt before in my life. It was so cold it felt almost as if it was burning me, which was a strange sensation. This was it, this was how it ended. At eighteen years old I hadn’t even really had a chance to live, yet it was over. I was going to drown, and there was nothing I could do about it.
A sense of foreboding settled over me as I forced my eyes open again, seeing that Luke’s lifeless body had floated away from me a little. I reached out for him, stretching, gritting my teeth in frustration as my fingertips brushed his shirt. My body felt weak and heavy, but with one last herculean effort I pushed that extra inch against my belt and managed to snag his sleeve enough to pull him over to me. His body twisted in the water, his face coming into view. He looked so peaceful, so beautiful as he floated there, eyes closed, almost as if he was asleep. I envied him, not having to go through this pain and fear. Silently I wished that I’d hit my head too and not worn my seatbelt because my lungs felt like they were on fire as I fought desperately against the urge to breathe in any more of the dirty water.
His blood from the cut on his head was slowly mixing with the water, floating there for a split second, almost looking like strands of fine red hair before they dispersed and more took its place. I gripped Luke’s hand tightly in mine, not wanting to be alone as I became so disorientated that I wasn’t even sure which way was up anymore. All I could see was darkness and shadows. As I sat there, holding his hand, waiting for it to be over, I thought of my parents, my brother, and my friends. I squeezed my eyes shut as emotional agony joined that pain that ruled my whole body. They would be devastated when they learnt of my death; my mom would be a wreck, I could practically see it. And Alex, my stupid twin brother, I didn’t even know how he would cope at all; if our roles were reversed I would feel like a piece of me had died if he did. I choked on a sob, heaving again against the water that seemed to fill every available space in my body.