Movement at my side caught my attention. I opened my eyes and looked up just as Luke stopped next to me. He looked bad; Zach had certainly done a number on his face. His cheek and jaw were red, his lip split and swollen. I daren’t even think what his body looked like. He looked incredibly sorry for himself, his head hung and his shoulders slumped. His deep brown eyes met mine, and I felt my heart break all over for him. He was so sad, so rejected, so low, but I just didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know if I could forgive him. I just knew deep down that everything was ruined, I didn’t think there was any way we could come back from this.
Chapter 9
“Can I talk to you, just for a minute?” he asked quietly as he frowned at the floor.
I still wasn’t ready to talk to him at all, but I couldn’t exactly say no with him looking like that. I nodded, swallowing the sadness that seemed to make my throat swell up. I closed my locker and leant against it, waiting for him to speak, unsure what he was going to say.
He swallowed loudly and kicked his toes at the floor absentmindedly. “I just wanted to apologise for what happened in the lunchroom. I was totally out of order doing that, and I’m sorry if I embarrassed you even more than I already did. I’m such a prick, and I’m so sorry,” he said quietly, not looking at me.
“You are a prick,” I confirmed. He grinned at me then and nodded, looking a little amused, like he was trying not to laugh. “What’s funny?” I asked.
His smile grew bigger. “I just still find it funny when you cuss. It’s just so random that a bad word would come out of a pretty mouth like yours, it just shocks me still,” he said, laughing quietly and shoving his hands into his pockets, rocking on his heels.
I laughed weakly. Luke had always found me cussing strange, he liked it a lot. “I forgot about that,” I muttered, rolling my eyes at him.
His smile slowly faded. “So, am I forgiven?” he asked, looking at me hopefully.
I frowned. “For starting a fight, yes. For cheating, no.”
He frowned too, but he didn’t look shocked. Maybe he expected me to say something along those lines. “Okay, that’s fair enough. Can I just ask one thing?” he whispered, looking at me curiously. I nodded, giving him the go ahead. “You didn’t really sleep with that guy, did you?” he asked, his voice breaking slightly as his eyes burned into mine, a pleading, almost begging expression on his face.
“Do I really have to answer that?” I asked incredulously. Does he really think that little of me that I would cheat on him the same as he did to me? I pushed away from the lockers and glared at him, my anger flaring up again. How dare he ask me that! Stupid jerk! “I’m done. This conversation is over,” I stated confidently as I started marching down the hallway towards the exit, deciding that I would actually skip my last class after all.
“Maisie, I’m sorry!” he called. “Wait, where are you going?” he asked, jogging to catch me up.
“Home. I’ve had enough for today.”
He grabbed my hand, making me stop. “Home? You want a ride? I could drive you so you don’t have to walk.”
I sighed and closed my eyes at his sweet offer. That was Luke all over, and one of the reasons why I fell deeply in love with the guy. “Luke, please just let me have some time. Please? I just can’t be around you right now,” I whispered, begging him with my eyes to just drop it and leave.
Suddenly someone shouted something that sounded like ‘catch it’ and then people were laughing, running towards us down the hallway, coming from the direction of the science lab. I looked up at them, confused, until I spotted a frog hopping down the hallway with about four people chasing after it, laughing, trying to catch it. Bile rose in my throat as my heart seemed to stop and then take off in overdrive. I had a terrible phobia of frogs. I knew it was irrational, but when I was younger Alex had found a dead toad and rubbed it on my face before he pushed it down the back of my top. I was a little scarred from that experience.
I squealed and threw myself at Luke, literally climbing up his body until I was wrapped around him like a baby monkey. I could hear screaming but quickly realised that it was me, so I bit my tongue and buried my face into the side of his neck, squeezing my eyes shut. I didn’t even care that I was probably embarrassing myself in front of people, or that I was behaving like a child right now. I just needed Luke. He was like a safety blanket, and it was a natural response for me to throw myself on him.
“Baby, it’s fine. Shh, it’s fine,” Luke cooed, rubbing my back softly, one arm hooked under my ass, supporting my weight. “It’s okay. I won’t let it over here. Loosen the fingers a little, can you?”
I gulped and suddenly realised I was digging my fingers into his back, my nails probably hurting him, but I couldn’t move my hands an inch. “I want to go!” I practically shouted.
“Okay, I’ll take you outside,” he suggested. I could feel that we were moving, but I couldn’t think about anything else other than the irregular beating of my heart and the squirming horror that was building in my stomach. I squeezed myself to Luke tighter, clamping my body to his and pressing my face harder into the side of his neck. He patted my behind lightly and I risked pulling my face away so I could take a quick glance around. We were in the parking lot, safely out of the school, no frogs in sight.
“Thank you,” I mumbled, finally loosening the death grip that I had on his back and shoulders. He seemed to breathe a sigh of relief when I did that so I knew I’d been hurting him.
“No problem. Though one day I think you need to see someone about this fear, baby, it’s getting a little out of hand,” he joked, laughing quietly. “Not that I’m complaining about having you wrap yourself around me like that, of course,” he added.
I pulled back slightly to see he was smirking at me. I laughed and rolled my eyes at him. “Of course you wouldn’t.”
He smiled and set me down on my feet, stepping closer to me, pressing his body to mine, and cupping the side of my face. “See, Maisie, you do need me, we both know it,” he whispered, his brown eyes locked onto mine as if he could see down into my soul.
I gulped noisily. I knew that statement was true but I didn’t want to admit it to him. “You were just the unlucky one that was closest to me in my moment of panic,” I lied, shaking my head.
He laughed and kissed my forehead. “If that’s what you want to be believe, then sure.”
I smiled and rolled my eyes. “Get out of here, you’re supposed to be in class,” I ordered jokingly, nodding my head in the direction of the field where he had his next period.
His smile faded, to be replaced by a serious expression. He brushed his hand down the side of my face. “I love you,” he said, his voice full of promise and emotion. He kissed my forehead again making me close my eyes at the soft feel of it, and then he was gone. I opened my eyes to see him jogging away towards the field, not looking over his shoulder at me at all.
I couldn’t make sense of my feelings. What was I supposed to do when I couldn’t even figure out what was going on in my own head? Sighing, I pulled out my cell phone, sending a quick text to Alex that I was skipping class and going home early so I didn’t need a ride today.
The wind whipped around me, so I hugged myself against the cool air and trudged out of the school gate, not once looking back. My mind was a mess, I just wanted to switch it all off and stop thinking and feeling. Everything was so overwhelming that my eyes prickled with tears again. My thoughts flicked to Luke and what had just happened. The reality of events hit me with a huge wave of humiliation. I’d just screamed over a frog, then been carried out of the school like a baby. Wow, that’s so impressive, Maisie. My face flamed with embarrassment because people had probably seen what happened, Luke, of course, wouldn’t care in the slightest, but other students would have heard me scream and seen me throw myself at him like a small child. They were probably going to be talking about me even more tomorrow.
My feet seemed to be moving of their own accord; I wasn’t thinking about where I was walking, I was lost in thought and on autopilot, so when I looked up my surroundings surprised me. I was at the children’s play park not far from my house. Luke and I hung out here a lot before he got his car and could drive us places. My eyes settled on the roundabout where we would sit and talk for hours on end. This place held bittersweet memories for me. I chewed on my lip as I looked around, thinking of all the fun and smiles that I’d shared here with Luke. My heart ached. I missed him.
I headed over to the roundabout and sat down, using my foot to push it gently around while I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation. My stomach fluttered as a memory washed over me - the first time Luke kissed me. We’d been sat right here, it was our third date and he’d said that there was something he needed to do because he just couldn’t stop thinking about it. When I’d asked him what it was, he’d smiled that beautiful cheeky smile and leant in, pressing his lips against mine just for a second before he pulled back and beamed over at me.
I smiled to myself, tracing my lip with my fingertip; I could almost still feel his mouth against mine. But then another thought hit me. Luke with her. A whimper left my lips as I laid back against the cold plastic and gave the roundabout another push with my foot. I stared up at the clouds, my mind running rampant as I thought about that night and what I’d witnessed. My concerns from earlier were haunting me again. He’d said that someone put something in his drink - would she do that? And if she did, was he trying to tell me that he was raped? He looked like he was in control, but what if he wasn’t? What if she put something in his drink for the sole purpose of seducing him? I knew I needed to speak to Luke about this possibility. If he felt like he’d been taken advantage of then I had no right to be shutting him out like I was. If he felt like he had been attacked then I should be supporting him wholeheartedly, not pushing him away from me. If the situation were reversed and someone had put something in my drink then I would need him to support me, not break up with me.