At nine, the nurse says, "You can't walk anymore today. It's time to go to bed."

"I need to walk."

"Everyone has to be in bed."

"I'll go outside."

"You have to go to bed."

"Sorry, but I need to walk." They call security. Now on Lithium.

They weigh all the patients on the floor. I'm the heaviest, 281, a new record high for me. One meal a day. All you need. Go to a nice restaurant. The rest of the day drink water. Or eat two medium meals. One at 9am and one at 5pm. Or three. One at 9. One at 12. One at 5. Or better, one at 9. One at 3, and one at 9. Four meals is one every four hours. Analyze for an hour.

A person only needs a medium portion at each meal. Any more than that is excess, unnecessary. All I have to do is stop having seconds. Think of all the money I could save. Think how happier I would be. Think how much I could accomplish, if I wasn't spending all my time dieting.

At night activity winds down. The lights dimmed. Play cards. Two patients against two staff. My partner James tells me how to play.

The staff are regular players and brag, "We got this."

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I suggest, "If we win, can we have a soda?"

James adds, "If we win, I want to smoke a cigarette."

They're not allowed to bet, but they can sure boast. They make fun of me, because I played a two of hearts. "Amateur move. Amateur."

Somebody should have told these guys that cards is just a stupid game that wastes time.

The one guy says, "Send ya back to Arkansas." That was kinda funny.

We remain silent. We win. They quiet.

James says to me, "We could get a Boston."

"What's a Boston?"

"If we run all the tricks in a row, we win the whole match."

"Come on Boston."

James, "Come on Boston."

We say, "Come on Boston." We win again. Our chants,"Come on Boston" grow in intensity. We keep winning, and chanting.

Yes we did it. It's a Boston.

"Boston! . . Boston!. . .Boston!....Boston!" We yell like maniacs.

Every day read, jog around building, do push ups. Lady tagged, "REC AIDE," tells me I can go to the work unit. Ten cents an hour. We take an elevator to the space big enough for a whole factory, but only two desks. She has me take a seat. Up by the ceiling, through the small windows, a clear view of bright clouds, the sunny skies of success. My table has stacks of paper- one white, one blue, one red, one green, and a stack of envelopes. A basket next to it.




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