I reach across the table, taking a garlic roll and I start to pick at the crust as I watch my dad dish up his portion of Lasagne. There is a nervous tension hanging in the air and once again, I wonder what the special occasion is supposed to be.
We eat, mostly in uncomfortable silence.
Eventually, I put the last fork of food in my mouth and then I grip my hands around the seat of the chair, preparing to push my chair backward when my dad looks at me. He says, "Before you excuse yourself, there is something we need to discuss as a family."
I let go of the seat and fold my hands in my lap. I look at him, waiting in nervous anticipation, as I feel a weird bundle of nerves in the pit of my stomach.
My mom starts to fidget with the salt shaker, and she keeps her eyes firmly glued on it.
He announces, "Your mom and I have decided to get a divorce." There is no sensitive introduction. No slow process he follows to deliver this news to me. Obviously, sometimes I did wonder why they were still together when they could not stand being in the same room with each other. However, there must have been a time when they loved each other. They must have loved each other enough to bring another human being into the world. Could they really not work through their problems and find that love they used to have? Although I have always expected this day to come, I am shocked. The news literally shakes my world.
Frowning puzzled, I look at him and then my mom.
My mom smiles at me uncomfortably. "We have decided it would be better for all three of us if your dad moves out."
I ask, "When are you moving out?" My voice sounds defiant. An inane question, I know, but I could think of nothing else to say. They have decided and no matter what I say, they will still get divorced.
He answers casually, "This weekend."
There are so many things I want to say. I want to shout out at them to try to love each other again, but I say nothing. I sit back in my chair as the news sink through me.
My mom glances at me remorsefully, while she says accusingly to my dad, "You could have used more tact when you told her." She turns back toward me. "Heather, this will change nothing. Your dad still loves you as much as he always did. We will still be a family, but we will just be living in separate houses."