As they made their way back to his lodge, Jesse told her about his duties: guarding the perimeter, patrolling the land, acting as a bodyguard, providing backup for his Alphas during meetings, and training with his Betas and the other enforcers. “We take shifts so that each of us has some downtime every day. Obviously we’re always on call in case an issue arises.”
“The position suits you,” she told him. He had always been a protective and proactive person. “Were you an enforcer in your old pack too?”
“No. My old Alpha never liked me much. Our personalities clashed.”
“So the Mercury wolves trained you?”
He shook his head. “You’ve heard of the Phoenix Pack, right?”
Of course. Who hadn’t? The Alpha male had a reputation for turning feral during battles, and his mate . . . well, she was apparently plain crazy. “Yes.”
“The pack is closely allied with mine. Their Beta and enforcers trained me.”
Her brows drew together. “Why not your own pack mates?”
“Nick didn’t really want to start a pack. He would have been happy just to live somewhere with his mate and pup. But he’s a natural born alpha, so his wolf wouldn’t have been content with that. Everyone knew it. So we just sort of formed the pack on our own and waited for him to finally accept the position of Alpha male. In the meantime, the Phoenix wolves put some of us through enforcer training.”
Then she was grateful to them for giving him what his previous Alpha wouldn’t.
“So, what do you think?” he asked as they stepped onto his porch.
Her mouth curved. “It’s a peaceful place. I can see why you’re so happy here.”
“I can see you being this happy here. And so can you, can’t you?”
Hands up, Harley backed into the lodge. “Look, I’m not going to deny that it’s the type of place a person could easily fall in love with. It’s relaxing. Peaceful. But what I’m feeling right now . . . it’s like when you go on a great vacation. You’re so happy and relaxed, and you’re so sure you could relocate there and love it. But after a couple of weeks, you’re ready to go home.”
“Where’s home to you, Harley?” he asked quietly.
Honestly, she didn’t feel that she really had one. But she didn’t say it aloud . . . because she could sense that she didn’t have to; he already knew it.
Jesse covered the distance between them. “Home isn’t always a place, sweetheart. Home is something that anchors you, comforts you, and is a safe haven for you.” He rubbed his nose against hers. “Let me be that for you, Harley.”
If he made her cry she was so gonna hit him.
“We both want this. We’ve both wanted it for a long time. Really, it was inevitable. I’ll tell you how it’s going to work: I’ll claim you, you’ll claim me, you’ll come to trust the pack, you’ll settle here, we’ll imprint, and we’ll be fucking happy.”
Harley could only stare at him. “You’ve got things all planned out, huh?”
“I’ve had this planned for a long time. The moment you stepped into California, you sealed your fate. There was no way you were leaving. I’d decided to give you another week at most to come to me; if you didn’t, I would have gone to you.” But if Cassidy hadn’t had that vision, he’d have been too late to claim Harley; she’d have been dead. Just the thought made his throat burn.
“I thought you only came because of the car bomb,” she mumbled, surprised.
“Think about it, baby, why else would I have fucking peppermint tea bags? The cupboards are stocked with foods you like. I wanted you to have what you like and need. Jesus, I picked this fucking lodge out of all the others because of that damn tree out there—because I knew you’d love it and I knew one day I’d bring you here. When a team came out to restore and modernize all the lodges three years ago, I had them build that reading alcove for you.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” she breathed.
“Deadly.” He cupped her throat. “I’ve wanted you since I was fourteen and too young and messed up to do much about it. You had that permanent frown, black lipstick, skull earrings, and dark clothes. You acted like you didn’t give a fuck about anything, but I knew that was bullshit. You gave a fuck about Mia and tried to help her. You gave a fuck about your mother and tried to get her sober. You gave a fuck that your pride was a joke and you felt helpless that you couldn’t change that.” He combed his fingers through her hair. “You were so strong and you didn’t seem to see it, just like you didn’t see that I wanted you. And you wanted me, didn’t you?”
“Maybe. I can’t remember.”
He smiled at the dry response. “I want you more now than I did back then, and I won’t be satisfied until I have every part of you.” He gripped her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Every. Part.”
Yeah, but what if she gave him every part and he couldn’t give the same in return? She tried to keep her tone sensitive as she spoke. “I know this is a hard subject for you, but I’m going to bring it up because this needs to be said. I’m sorry that you lost your mate. I can’t even begin to understand how soul wrecking that must have been for you, even though you were only kids and hadn’t bonded. While I understand and sympathize—”
“You refuse to be second best,” he finished.