“A year.” I’d met him at the end of my sophomore year and we’d dated through my junior year. My sorority and his fraternity were closely linked and people thought we were a cute couple…
She made a cutting gesture with her hand. “Okay, whatever. You weren’t even all that into him.”
“Did I—did I ever tell you what he told me when I broke up with him? That I was a boring little bookworm and too vanilla in bed. Asshole.”
She took a deep breath and let it go, likely grasping for something to comfort me with. “He was probably covering for his own insecurities. Your mother is the worst culprit in this. She should have realized—”
“She has no sense of anyone else’s feelings but her own. Even if I had said something, which I didn’t, she would fool herself into thinking that I’m totally and completely cool with her newest marriage.” And I knew that if I had said something, she would have called me selfish for intruding on her happiness. “I’m such a coward,” I groaned.
“You’re a peacekeeper, April. A child of divorced parents. It’s common, given your family situation. You never wanted to rock the boat because you felt like their love was conditional.”
“My mom’s ‘love’ is completely conditional. Dad’s just…never there. Thank God I have a friend like you.” My mouth tightened and I leaned my head on her shoulder. “You’re the bestest. I love you.”
“Love you too, chicken butt.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“Never.”
I brushed some lint off my skirt. I had to get up, get some makeup on and get going, but I was feeling really unmotivated at the moment.
Sid screwed up her mouth as if she’d eaten a salted lemon. “So…this makes Gunnar your step-dad now.”
That bad taste in my mouth was back. Our girlfriend moment was over. “Shut the fuck up, Sid.”
She shuddered.
I leaned forward and put my face in my hands, my elbows resting on my knees. “God… I need to get my head in the game. I have to start this new position at Draco today.”
“That starts today? Oh, suck an elf! I just remembered that. Could the timing be any worse?”
“Not really,” I mumbled into my hands. Working with the CFO was my dream position. A good evaluation from him could help me into any school I wanted to attend. Harvard…Stanford…or my first choice, UCLA. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to think about anything else but this…”
“Why don’t you concentrate on how jealous I am that you get to work at the place that makes my very favorite video game.” Sid was a gamer to the core, and had not stopped talking for days when I’d arranged for her to have a tour of the campus a few months ago. She played Dragon Epoch constantly and filled me in on the goings-on of the game even though I’d never really done much beyond dip my toe into the gaming environment. My interests lay elsewhere.
“You can keep your joysticks, Sid. I’ve got my books.”
Sid laughed. “Silly. Dragon Epoch isn’t played with a joystick!”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I gotta get going. Please, if you can find a way to deal with this…?”
“I have no idea how it could have gotten uploaded unless you synced it to the cloud and someone hacked you.”
I sighed, wondering if I’d pressed the share button the one time I’d played it back for myself. Now that it was out, it was spreading like wildfire. My gut clenched with nausea again. Ugh. Uggity ugh.
I guess it no longer mattered how it had happened because the why it had happened was due completely to my own stupidity. Aside from the abstention of alcohol, I’d add getting a “dumb” phone to the list of things I had to do in order to atone. No more videos. No cameras. And no social media. Not anymore.
I stood and went into the bathroom to finish my makeup.
***
I pulled into the parking lot at Draco Multimedia Entertainment a good forty-five minutes early. The best way to show enthusiasm for the new job was to show up early, smiling and eager to get to work. And the harder I worked today, the more I’d be able to force the negative, panicked thoughts from this morning’s events to the back of my head. They nagged at me, swarming around my brain like gnats at dusk, and no matter how much I tried to swat them away, they came right back to aggravate me even more.
I’d been working at Draco for the past six months as an unpaid intern but had recently been given the opportunity for advancement—probably due to my hard work in marketing. And this position was primo. Rumor had it that the company would be listing for its initial public offering (IPO) soon, so I’d get to see a big part of the process from inside the office of the financial officer. Adding that accomplishment to my résumé would have the business schools bowing down and begging for me to attend.