It occurred to me—it honestly did. But the less she knew, the better. At least that was the lie I told myself so as to not hate what I was doing. It would be for her own good.
And yeah, it helped that it was for my own good as well.
She sniffed and then looked at me—really looked at me—with a gaze that seemed to penetrate my own façade. I almost drew back, startled.
“Why are you doing this, Jordan? Why do you care so much?”
I blinked. Her question took me totally by surprise. Why do you care so much? Good question. I had no idea. I wasn’t supposed to care. I’d told myself a long time ago that I wasn’t going to ever care again. It had hurt too much, that once.
But this woman was doing something…something she didn’t even know she was doing.
And I was allowing it to happen.
I rubbed a hand over my mouth and shrugged. “I care about this company. I care about the IPO being successful. I care about you keeping your nose clean and getting out of here without upsetting more than you have already. That’s what I care about.”
Her brows drew together and I stepped back. I didn’t want to feel her near me again, didn’t want to smell her. I didn’t want to care. So, I wouldn’t. That was it. I’d flip it off, like a switch. I was good at that. I could do that.
I had to.
But there was still a thing or two that I wanted to know. “Why didn’t you speak up for yourself with Cari? Why’d you let her trample all over you like that?”
She shrugged.
“That’s not an answer and you aren’t four,” I ground out. “Somewhere along the line, you learned that you aren’t worth standing up for. That other people’s feelings and opinions are more valuable than your own. You keep those feelings inside and show the world a brave face.”
She looked at me like I’d slapped her. “And there’s something wrong with that?”
I nodded. “In the process of trying to save everyone else’s feelings, you give no value to your own. Because you’re too nice. That will get you nowhere. I learned a long time ago that nice guys finish last. Do you want to finish last?”
“Is this some kind of race?”
I stared at her. “It’s life. And it’s passing you by because all of those jackasses who walk all over you are doing just that to get ahead of you. And you are letting them.”
She blinked. “So that explains why you’re an asshole.”
I sent her a wicked grin. “And damn proud of it.”
She wasn’t smiling in return. Instead, she was watching me with those perceptive blue eyes. Even in the semi-darkness of the bathroom, I could see them, glued to my face, inspecting every inch—maybe even seeing things I didn’t want her to see.
I stepped out of the bathroom, breaking the moment. “I’ll, uh, let you get yourself together.”
While she tidied up, I packed up my stuff, ready to finish this godforsaken day. When she came out, she quietly leaned on the edge of the doorway, tilting her head and watching me again. This time, her face was easier to read as her eyes slipped down my body, warming parts of me I’d like her hands touching instead. She licked her lips when her gaze met mine again.
Fuck. I was in trouble with this one. Deep, deep trouble. I knew that and yet I allowed myself to get pulled into dangerous waters again and again, either oblivious or willingly ignorant to the pull she had on me. And any good surfer knew you avoided a riptide whenever you could. They were nothing but danger—a massive expense of energy to escape with your life intact.
“Quitting time,” I said, because I honestly had nothing else to say. And I was trying not to remember the taste of her from last night. Trying to push my way out of that dangerous current that was my attraction to her.
“So I actually get to go home on time?” Her dark brows rose hopefully.
“Don’t get cocky. It’s only because you have to be back here before dawn.”
She drew back. “Say what? I don’t do ‘before dawn.’”
“Well,” I said, slipping my shoulder strap on and hefting the weight of the laptop bag. “You do now. I need you here at six.”
“A.M.?” she said, alarmed. “What for?”
“I have a meeting with a banker in Santa Barbara tomorrow morning. You’re coming with. Wear a business suit. These assholes are conservative as hell.”
She opened her mouth and then shut it.
I turned to walk out the door, calling over my shoulder. “Knock off the fish face.”