He watched me with studious eyes, his brows knitting. Then he blinked and looked away as if suddenly uncomfortable, but in that split second I saw something that looked like…gratitude.
He cleared his throat. “At least your dad seems like a cool guy.”
I sighed and rested my head against his arm, which stretched across the back of the couch. “My dad is a good guy. Only he barely knows who I am as a person.”
“Well, I think that as long as you have one decent parent…maybe you should consider cutting the poison out of your life.”
I looked up at him and he held my gaze, strong and steady. I shook my head. “I’ve never had the guts to do it. To hurt her like that.”
“But it’s okay if she tramples all over you?”
I bit the inside of my cheek but didn’t answer, my eyes drifting away from his.
“April, you’re worth more than that—more than how I saw them treat you tonight. They treated you like shit. You have the power to end that.”
I swallowed. “I do.”
We were silent for a long time and his arm came down to press me against him. It felt so good being in his arms. It made me feel safe…special. It made me feel like I was worth every bit as much as he told me I was. Like I was too good for them. For her.
I sat up straight and reached over to the coffee table for my phone.
“What are you doing?”
“Cutting the poison out of my life.”
He didn’t say anything as I texted my mother, telling her not to contact me again. That I wouldn’t respond to her or Gunnar by phone or email, and if she showed up in person again, I would get a restraining order against them both on the basis of her harassment and Gunnar’s assault.
Then I snapped a selfie close-up of my face with the prominently displayed bruised and swollen lip. I went into my settings and blocked her phone number and Gunnar’s. I did the same with Facebook and email.
“There. It’s done.” I swallowed, feeling like a brave, grown-up girl. My heart was beating a million miles per second, but it was such a rush and I felt strong for the first time in a long time. Probably ever.
I turned to Jordan to find him watching me with an intensity that I was starting to get used to. I settled into his side again, resting my head on his shoulder. Slowly, slowly, my hand crept across his chest until I had his hard body in my arms. I tilted my head back.
“Better be careful or I might start thinking you care. And that was against your rules, right?”
He didn’t stiffen like I expected him to or draw back. Nor did he challenge or contradict me, even with a sarcastic quip. Instead, he ran his hand through my hair then turned to smell it.
“I’m incapable of caring, April. I told you that already.”
I didn’t agree with that. Not for one second. Every single action today, from the minute I’d set foot on the campus and saw my dad until right now, said that he did care. Jordan could choose to delude himself, but he couldn’t fool me.
“What happened when you talked to her?”
His hand on my hair stilled and I looked up. He was staring at the far wall, deep in thought.
“I told her I forgave her,” he said quietly, not bothering to pretend he didn’t know who I was talking about. “And I told her I was sorry.”
“Did it make you feel better?”
His eyes closed. “Not really.”
I turned toward him, pressing my face into his shoulder. That smell—sage and soap and a hint of salt and garlic from the pizza. But there was another scent underneath it. The smell of his skin that brought back the toe-curling, back-clawing pleasure we’d shared. Without even realizing it, my lips were on his neck. I couldn’t help it. I probably shouldn’t have. But how the hell could I resist?
I felt his Adam’s apple bob under my lips as he swallowed hard. He stiffened in my arms but I pressed the issue, throwing a leg over his lap and straddling him while kissing my way up his neck and along his hard jaw.
“April…” His voice was a hoarse whisper.
My hands flew down the buttons on the front of his shirt. My mouth followed the trail down from his neck, across his collarbone, to his chest. His hands were on my shoulders, squeezing firmly, and my tongue flicked across his nipple. He hissed and pulled me up and away from him.
“We can’t,” he said. But I could feel his arousal swollen against me. I frowned.
“Please don’t stop this, Jordan.” I leaned forward, pressing my forehead to his. His eyes snapped shut.
“We stopped it. It has to stay stopped.”