Heather was about to protest one last time when her phone rang. She grinned when she saw Josh’s name come up on the caller ID and, prompted by Alexis’s nod, swiped the green arrow.
“Hey there, sicky, how are you feeling? Which water bottle are you on?”
But it wasn’t Josh on the other line.
Heather sat numbly listening to the panicked voice on the other end of the phone for several minutes before she hung up, her hand falling limply to her lap.
“Heather? What’s wrong?” Alexis’s voice was sharp as she came to Heather’s side, kneeling beside her chair. “Talk to me.”
Heather turned and looked at her friend. “That was Josh’s mom.” Her voice cracked as she abruptly stood up from her chair and started gathering papers, stuffing everything into her purse. “He’s in the hospital.”
Chapter Thirty-One
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU didn’t tell me,” Sue Tanner said for the hundredth time, her eyes watering as she reached for his hand. Also for the hundredth time.
“I did tell you, Mom. The second after I hung up the phone with Dr. Rios.”
His mom shook her head. “That’s not what I meant,” she whispered.
Josh squeezed her fingers. Hard. “I know.”
Knew that his mom wasn’t talking about the most recent sickness—knew that she was referring to the not-so-unlikely possibility that the leukemia could come back. Sue bowed her head, and Josh’s father put a hand on his wife’s shaking shoulder as she cried, as he met his son’s eyes. His dad’s brown eyes were shiny with unshed tears, and Josh had to look away as his heart twisted. It was like he was in a time machine. A shitty one.
Four years ago he’d been in this exact position. Lying in a hospital bed while his parents tried desperately not to cry in front of him, succeeding only about half the time.
Just like he tried not to cry in front of them. He’d succeeded 100 percent of the time, although he suspected it might be harder this go-around.
This was everything he hadn’t wanted. Everything he’d hoped to avoid.
And yet, he couldn’t not tell them. Not when his doctor had suggested he come in right away. There were some secrets one could keep to protect his family and others that would destroy them.
Josh was pretty sure that not telling your parents that you were in the hospital waiting for results on a bone marrow biopsy and blood workup fell into the latter category.
“How much longer?” his mom asked, taking the tissue her husband handed her and dabbing angrily at her eyes.
“Doc said they’d rush it,” Josh said. “Given my history.”
“And you knew,” Sue said accusingly. “You knew that there was a strong likelihood that your particular leukemia was at risk for a relapse.”
“Remission is never a sure bet, Ma. For anyone.”
“You let us think it was,” Sue said, her voice cracking once more. “You let us think you were healed.”
“Because I was healed. What good would it have done to have you two in a constant state of worrying?”
“We do that anyway,” Rob Tanner said wearily. “But . . . I get why you did what you did, son.” He put his hand briefly on Josh’s shin beneath the thin, ugly blue blanket, and Josh nodded once in gratitude.
His mother glared up accusingly at his father. “You can’t seriously think he was right to keep it from us.”
“You meddle enough as it is, Sue. Given what he’s been through, can you blame him for wanting a bit of peace and quiet? To be someone other than the sick kid?”
His mother’s head dropped slightly, defeated. “No.” She turned to Josh and offered him a weak, watery half smile. “I suppose I can’t begrudge you that, sweetie.”
“There’s always the chance that it’s nothing,” Josh said. “Dr. Rios said it could just be a virus.”
His mom forced a smile. His dad looked away.
Josh couldn’t blame them. None of them believed it was just a virus.
“Can we get you anything?” his dad asked. “Book? Magazine? Food?”
Josh shook his head. He couldn’t eat. And though the medicine they’d given him had taken the edge off the pain, he didn’t want to read, either. Unhealthy as he knew it was, he just wanted to sit and try not to think about the news that awaited him.