But what if he’d been doing the very opposite of living life to the fullest? There was living in the moment, but there was also living only in the moment, and that was no good. He’d put himself in a goddamn bubble that didn’t go beyond yesterday and tomorrow, and he effectively shut down anyone who tried to pop the bubble.
He was living, yes, but he’d gotten so obsessed with survival, so paranoid that each day could be his last, that he hadn’t bothered to figure out what he was living for.
Or who he was living for.
“Are you mad?” she asked, biting her lip.
He forced a smile. “No. You were right in thinking I probably would have bit your head off if you’d mentioned it.”
Kindly, she didn’t rub it in his face.
“How’d Logan take the rejection?” she asked, taking a sip of coffee.
“I didn’t turn him down, actually. I told him I was interested.”
She froze, bringing her coffee mug back to her lap as she stared at him openmouthed. “Really?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know what it is yet, obviously, but I like Logan. More important, I respect him. And if I’m being totally honest, I miss . . .”
“Work?” she supplied when he trailed off.
“Not exactly, although yeah, I suppose I miss the challenge of being busy, of having a set schedule every day. But really, I miss numbers,” he said, hearing the sheepishness in his own voice.
Heather grinned. “Do you have any idea how nerdy and sexy that is?”
Josh grunted, feeling anything but sexy at the moment.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mention the offer,” she said quietly, her smile fading as she met his eyes. “It should have been your choice to say yes or no. And believe it or not, I think I’m getting pretty good at withstanding your man-tantrums.”
“I don’t blame you,” he said. “Really.”
“I like you when you’re sick,” she said, leaning forward and flicking his biceps. “You’re all docile and sweet.”
“You’re going to pay for that when I’m better,” he growled softly.
And he would feel better. He would.
It was a cold. Just a cold.
There was a chirp from the kitchen: Heather’s text message notification. One of many in the past several minutes, he realized.
“Someone’s popular this morning,” he said, jerking his chin in the direction of the other room.
“I know, don’t these people know they’re supposed to be hungover and in bed right now?”
“You want to check on it?”
“Nah, it’s probably just the girls reliving the excitement of Brooke getting engaged. I’ll join in on the squeeing in a bit. I need to at least finish my first cup of coffee first.”
But before she could take another sip, her phone sounded again, this time with the chime of an incoming call.
“Okay, okay, fine,” she muttered, kicking her legs around to the side of the bed. Josh wasn’t so sick that he couldn’t admire the fine curve of her heart-shaped ass beneath those tiny shorts as she headed into the kitchen.
“Alexis, hey” he heard her say in a slightly puzzled tone. Somehow he didn’t think an early-morning call on a holiday was typical, even for someone as career-focused as Alexis Morgan.
Josh took advantage of the privacy to rub his head. Whatever brief reprieve the pills had offered hadn’t lasted long. His headache seemed to be getting worse.
“Wait, what?” Heather asked in a low, startled voice. “Seriously?”
There was a long pause as she listened to whatever Alexis said, and when she spoke next, her voice was small. Tired. “Okay. Thanks for telling me. I’ll probably head into the office in a little bit. Some of my files are there, and, well . . . I’ve got my work cut out for me, don’t I?”
Josh went on high alert, trying to block out his pain receptors so he could deduce what was bothering his girl without actually having to move his lethargic body.
Heather said her good-byes, and he waited impatiently for her to come back into the bedroom. When she didn’t, he called out, “Everything okay?”
She appeared in the doorway, her expression barren. Wordlessly she padded over to the bed and handed him her cell phone.