But lying to Heather . . . it didn’t feel right.
Especially not when she blinked and looked away. Almost as though she were hurt.
Nah. Their relationship wasn’t like that.
And yet, now that he thought about it, the thought of Heather bringing a guy home . . . the thought of some guy running his hands all over those slim curves, plunging his fingers into all that glorious hair . . .
Shit. Shit!
Their server came over, saving both of them from going any further down a path that he was positive neither wanted to. After he’d ordered a steak and she’d opted for some mussels, he gratefully let her change the topic toward safer territory:
Danica.
Never in his life would he have thought that his most toxic ex would be a safe topic, but compared to crossing a line with his neighbor, perhaps destroying the first good thing he’d had in years, it was definitely the lesser of the two evils.
“So tell me more about why you guys broke up,” Heather said, helping herself to a bit more wine.
Josh shrugged. “The usual reasons, I guess. We outgrew each other. We were fighting more often than we were getting along. I found myself coming up with reasons not to pick up the phone when she called. I no longer had a clue how to make her happy, and she certainly wasn’t making me happy.”
He skipped the part about her telling him his sickness was “too much.”
Heather fiddled with her glass. “I’ve met Danica. I’ll admit, I’m trying to figure out—”
“What I saw in her?” he asked with a grin.
She winced. “I know I’m not supposed to talk badly about my client, but you’re a . . . a friend, sort of, I guess, and I just . . . I don’t get it.”
“I was a different person back then,” he said quietly. “And trust me, that version of Josh Tanner was exactly the type of douche bag that would get involved with a social-climbing diva.”
“Is this back when you were a hedge fund manager?” she asked.
He winced. “Not my favorite topic, 4C. You’re usually pretty good about not prying.”
“Well, don’t get too excited, because I’m totally going to pry right now. Why did you quit?”
Tell her, his subconscious urged. Tell her you got sick and your life turned upside down.
But the words didn’t come. He knew it was irrational, but he just didn’t want to be known as the sick guy. He’d been there. Done that. Spent a year of his life being the guy who people felt sorry for, and he was just . . . over it.
He didn’t want Heather looking at him with all that pity and concern, analyzing every cough and yawn.
He already had a mother for that.
“The corporate client in my old company was brutal,” he said, trying to find a way to tell her the truth without telling her the whole truth. “The money was good. Really good. But the hours were long, and the lifestyle was something straight out of the movies.”
“How so?”
“Drinking way too much, way too often. Recreational drugs. Workdays that transitioned straight to happy hour, and then to a late dinner, and then to a party that went all night long until you got to the office, where you kept a spare suit and did it all over again.”
“This is when you and Danica were dating?” she asked.
He nodded. “Her dad was one of my company’s clients. Not my client. I was too junior for that. But we met at some fund-raising thing, and I guess we figured we could use each other. She was new to the scene, barely out of college. I showed her the ropes, and in return, I got access to one of the richest men in the city.”
Josh glanced at her, braced for censure or disdain, but instead saw only curiosity.
“You guys broke up after you quit?”
“Pretty much.”
He knew he was being terse, but he didn’t want to go there. Hadn’t gone there in a long time.
“I know it’s been a while,” Heather said as she grabbed another piece of bread, “but since you knew her, don’t you think it’s odd the way she’s so hands-off about this wedding?”
“Honestly, yeah,” Josh said thoughtfully. “I suppose it’s possible that she’s changed, but the Danica I knew was a control freak. I still remember when she decided to redecorate her bathroom. She went through a half dozen interior designers because she was too up in their business about the precise shade of sea foam green or whatever.”