Josh reached for his jacket and shrugged it on without responding.
“You can ignore me,” she said quietly, “but it won’t go away. You are lost. You won’t let yourself care about anything, and it’s getting tiring. You’re boring.”
After her whole speech—and it was a good one—for some reason it was that last line that gave him the most pause. “Boring,” he repeated slowly.
She nodded emphatically. “Yup. You’re a cancer survivor, but you’re not being one of the cool ones who keeps on trucking, waving your ‘I beat it’ flag and taking on the world. You’re one of the scared ones who’s letting it beat you. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally, the leukemia is whipping your ass.”
He let out a surprised laugh. “I swear to God, having a twin is the worst.”
But even as he said it, a strange sense of calm was settling over him. He wished that the self-realization would have come from within. That he could have figured shit out for himself. But having it come from the sibling he’d shared a womb with was probably the next best thing.
And Jamie was absolutely right. Josh had been patting himself on the back for being a survivor for years, but he’d only physically bested the cancer.
He’d let it mess with his mind. And definitely his heart.
A heart that absolutely knew what it wanted. And what it wanted was a certain curly-haired wedding planner with green eyes and a heart of gold.
But he didn’t deserve Heather as he was now.
Heather was a go-getter. A firecracker. She deserved a man who knew he had his shit together. A man who did something more than amble through his day from breakfast to dinner with zero purpose beyond doing it all again tomorrow.
He rose from the bed and stomped toward his sister, wrapping both arms around her. He intended to lift her off her feet, but he settled for a bear hug instead. “Thank you,” he whispered.
She swatted the back of his head, then hugged him back. Hard. “You’re welcome.”
He released her and stepped back before heading toward the door.
“You going after Heather?” she asked.
“Of course,” he replied. “But there’s something I have to do first.”
“Wait, you’re not leaving,” she said. “I know you sweet-talked the doctor into discharging you as long as you monitored the fever, but mom’s already been talking about how she’s going to make your favorite chicken parmesan tonight. Let them take you home with them. Take care of you.”
Josh paused and sucked in his cheeks as he thought. It wasn’t right to drag his family all the way out to Manhattan and then bail. Not to mention, it would serve his rapidly forming plan well if he avoided his own apartment for a few days.
“I’d love to,” he said, meaning it. “But I need to make one phone call first.”
Seven minutes later, Josh had made his phone call.
He also had received and accepted a job offer from Logan Harris.
His body would do what it wanted. He was dealing with that.
His brain though, he could do better by. With one phone call, he’d just taken the first step.
Now for the last, and most important.
It was time to do right by his heart.
“Actually, guys, is it cool if I make one more phone call?” Josh asked as he left the hospital with his family and headed toward the train station.
“Honey, you can make as many phone calls as you want,” his mother gushed.
Jamie rolled her eyes.
Josh pulled out his phone and made the call.
By the time he hung up, he was grinning. The girl in 4C didn’t stand a chance.
Chapter Thirty-Three
HEATHER FLIPPED YET ANOTHER gossip magazine closed with a frustrated huff, tossing it on the countertop next to her drink with more force than was probably necessary.
She’d gotten to JFK a full hour before the customary two-hour window recommended by the airlines. It wasn’t her usual MO. She was more of a run-up-right-before-last-call kind of girl. But when you were on a temporary hiatus from work, getting ready to board a plane to hide out in Nowhere, Michigan, while you licked the wounds of a broken heart, why not get to the airport earlier, grab a drink, and read guilty-pleasure magazines?