Oh. Never had I seen it that way, or considered what memories my own tragedy must wake in her. I dropped to my knees in front of Elliania and looked up into her face. Tears were streaming and by the look of her eyes, not for the first time this day. “My queen. Please. Dry your tears and have faith in me. I promise you that I go, and soon, to discover where these snakes nest. Let Integrity remain here, at your side. If I have need of him, I will send word to Nettle to summon him, and then he can come, bringing whatever force you deem necessary, following a way I will clearly chart for them. But for now, Queen Elliania, let me go alone and secretly.”
It was not an easy posture to hold, on my aching knees, my head craned down and my face twisted up to look into hers. She bit her lip, and then gave a minuscule nod.
“Alone?” I had not realized Riddle was in the room until he spoke.
“Alone,” I affirmed.
“What of me?”
Nettle opened her mouth but I was faster. “You already know the answer to that. If you do not stay, I cannot go. Nettle is heavy with child. Your place is here, guarding that which is precious to both of us.”
He bowed his head to that. “Still. You should not go alone,” he said quietly.
“He won’t be alone,” Lant interjected. “I’m going with him.”
I turned to face him but spoke to the whole room. “Lord Chade already suggested I take FitzVigilant. And I deeply appreciate his offer. But as I must make the first step of my journey via the Skill-stones, I fear I must go alone, even if it were not my preference.”
Lant set his jaw and gave me a baleful stare. I opened my hands helplessly and shrugged.
“And what of the Fool?” Dutiful demanded abruptly.
I hadn’t wanted to discuss that. “He must remain here, and for the same reasons. I have not had the heart to tell him so, but I will. I travel by the pillars, and that will be risky enough for me to do alone. Last time I attempted to bring the Fool through a stone I drained Riddle’s strength to take him with me.” I turned my head, speaking to all of them. “It’s very simple. I intend to go alone and swiftly. I will find the way to Clerres. I will study its weaknesses. And then I will send for who and what I need.” I forced a smile to my face. “Not even I would be so foolish as to imagine I could carry out a solo attack against a city.”
For a moment, a silence fell, and I wondered how many of them did imagine I would be that foolish. Then the objections erupted.
“But, FitzChivalry—”
“Fitz, you will need—”
“What is your plan?” Kettricken spoke from her post near the window. Her low voice cut through the others and silence fell.
“It’s not much of a plan.” I clambered to my feet. My knees made small noises. My body healed swiftly but it still objected to some things. “I’ve gathered some tools and supplies. I’ve consulted with the Fool about my journey. And I am ready to leave. Tomorrow.”
Kettricken was shaking her head slowly. I turned to look at Dutiful. “No,” he said succinctly. “You can’t do it that way, Fitz. There has to be a farewell dinner, and you must ride out of Buckkeep like a prince, not slink off like a—”
He fumbled for words. “Lone wolf,” Nettle supplied in a low voice.
“Exactly,” Dutiful concurred. “You have been reintroduced to the court. You can’t simply vanish.”
Dismay rose in me like a tide. “Must all know what I go to do?”
There was a moment of quiet. Dutiful spoke slowly. “There have been rumors. Rumors from Withywoods, gossip among the guard companies. Bodies found. Evidently the pale folk would rather kill themselves than be captured or face hardship surviving alone. They leapt from the sea cliffs. They were seen doing so, and later the remains washed ashore. So there have been questions. And fears. We have to offer some answers.”
Chade would have been proud of me. The perfect deception came immediately to mind. “Let us announce that I am going to ask counsel of the Elderlings, as to what I should do against such an enemy. And that is why I depart by the Skill-stone and alone.”
“The True Elderlings,” Kettricken supplied.
“True Elderlings?”
“Some of the correspondence we have received from Bingtown asserts that the Traders who settled in Kelsingra with their hatched dragons are insisting that they are now Elderlings. A claim I find both preposterous and offensive.” She had seen Verity absorbed into his stone dragon, but some part of her believed in the old legends of the wise Elderlings forever feasting in their halls of stone, their dragons sleeping but ready to wake to the call of the Six Duchies. That same legend had lured Verity to the Mountains in search of the Elderlings, the legendary allies of the Six Duchies.