I watched Nettle grow heavier with the child she carried, and Riddle became ever more solicitous of her. Kettricken and Elliania could not contain their joy for her. I took comfort that she was surrounded by their love even as I kept a careful distance. If I let no one depend on me, I could fail no one.
On most nights, sleep eluded me. I did not really care. In the dark of night, the libraries of Buckkeep were empty save for me and my lamp. I began a careful combing of them. At one time, Chade had developed a fascination with what he had called the religion of the White Prophet. I found the scrolls he had collected. Some I translated afresh, and others I renewed with painstaking pen-work. Here I finally found the references I sought. Clerres was distant, farther away than ever I had been. The accounts of traveling there were old and sometimes contradictory. I discussed my work with no one. The slow gathering of information consumed me.
I made time to go down to Buckkeep Town, and to frequent several of the taverns where the sailors gathered. I sought out those who had come farthest to Buckkeep’s port and asked of them for any news of a place called Clerres. Three had heard of the place, but only one claimed to have ever visited that far port. He’d been a boy, on one of his earliest voyages. The garrulous old man did his best to tell me of nearby ports, but time, a harsh life, and much rum had eroded his memory. “Go to the Spice Isles,” he told me. “There’s folk there that trade with the White Island Servants. They’ll put you on the right tack.” A tiny clue but one that gave shape to the journey to come.
I was relieved that my assassin’s skills no longer belonged to my king. I even told Dutiful how relieved I was, at a private dinner one evening in Chade’s rooms. My old mentor picked listlessly at his food as our king explained his decisions to move us into open view. “I know it was uncomfortable for you, Fitz, but your status demanded appropriate chambers. And a son of the Farseer reign should not be lurking in hidden passageways and spying on his people.” He set down his fork with sigh and gave me a weary smile. “Fitz, I am finished with secrets. Look where they have brought us. Consider how they twisted childhood for Shine and Lant, let alone yourself. And the near-disaster of their meeting when they were unaware of their kinship.”
I chewed slowly, my eyes on my food, wondering how he had acquired that bit of insight and hoping that the meaning had slipped past Chade.