Chapter 45
“It’s okay,” Lucifer said, placing her back on the chair and helped her bend forward, “just breathe.”
Shaking her head, she tried to calm down, tried to take a deep breath, but every time she tried she kept seeing that pregnancy test telling her that she was pregnant. That had been close, too close, she realized, making the panic that had settled in on the way here worse.
She was an unmarried, unemployed waitress with no insurance, no job prospects and absolutely no idea how to change a diaper! She wasn’t ready to have a baby yet. Not even close. She was still trying to get her act together and…and…
“It’s going to be fine. It was a false positive, sweetheart,” Lucifer promised as he knelt by her side and put his arms around her. She opened her mouth to tell him that she knew that everything was going to be okay, but nothing came out so she settled for shaking her head urgently, praying that he would understand.
“These things happen, Rebecca,” Aidan assured her, taking a knee by her other side. “Sometimes the home tests give a false positive. It’s rare, but it does happen.”
Still unable to talk, she settled for nodding.
“Are you okay?” Lucifer asked as he kissed the top of her head, probably hoping that she wouldn’t start hyperventilating and screaming about baby wipes and Huggies diapers, again.
She shook her head, not sure that she would ever be okay again.
That had been close, too close, she told herself, deciding that from this moment on that she would refrain from pre-marital sex. Then again, since having a ring on her finger wouldn’t save her from the unbearable pain of shoving a nine-pound bundle of joy out of her body or from having to learn how to work a diaper, she decided that perhaps it was time to look into joining a convent.
The only thing stopping her from doing just that was the knowledge that the rest of the nuns would probably turn on her within a day or two after it became painfully obvious that the whole vow of silence thing wasn’t going to work for her. Since death by angry, bitter nuns wasn’t exactly enticing, she was just going to have to swear off sex altogether, she decided.
Sex just wasn’t worth the pain of finding out how why she’d seen so many parents over the years gag when they’d attempted to change a diaper. It was definitely something that she could live her entire life without experiencing first hand.
Of course with Melanie due to have a baby there was probably a good chance that she was going to be forced to face her fear, she mused, only to decide that she would hold off on babysitting until after the kid was potty trained. It was definitely for the best, she decided even as she tried to figure out how she was going to break the news to Lucifer that she was now going to lead a life of celibacy.
He wasn’t going to take it well, but then again, she really couldn’t blame him since she was probably the best that he’d ever had. Once he realized that he couldn’t have her again, he’d probably go into a deep depression before coming to the conclusion that a life of celibacy was the only way to live. Then they could spend their nights playing Tetris and reminiscing about just how good it used to be.
“There’s always a chance of becoming pregnant, slim as it may be, on birth control. The best way to avoid an unwanted pregnancy is to use condoms in addition to the pill,” Aidan explained, making her sigh in resignation, because there was that too.
She supposed that was the way to go since she probably wouldn’t have had the heart to deny Lucifer the pleasure of-
“What’s going on in that devious mind of yours?” Lucifer asked, cutting into her benevolent thoughts and making her realize that at some point in the last few minutes he’d stopped holding her and had begun watching her.
“Nothing. Why do you ask?” she asked, wondering if she should let him know how close he’d just come to a life of celibacy so that he could thank her.
“Because I know that look.”
She blinked. “What look?”
Instead of answering her, he got to his feet, careful to keep his eyes on her almost as though he didn’t trust her.
That hurt…it really did.
“Do either one of you have any questions?” Aidan asked as he went over her chart and signed the bottom.
“No,” she said, glaring at Lucifer as she contemplated sticking her tongue out at the paranoid bastard.
Aidan nodded as he closed the folder and tossed it on the counter before he shifted his attention to Lucifer, who was still watching her a little too closely.
“You working tonight?” Aidan asked, already moving on while she sat there struggling to get over the biggest scare of her life.
“Patrick’s scheduled to work,” Lucifer said, sounding bored.
Seriously? Did neither one of them care how close she’d come to reenacting the scene from Alien? Selfish bastards, she thought, shaking her head in disgust until the action caused her head to recommence with the spinning.
“Then come to dinner tonight,” Aidan said, really making her wonder how many patients tried to kick his ass.
“Fine,” Lucifer said, sounding a bit distracted, which would explain why he gave in so easily to something that he normally tried to avoid.
Not that she knew why.
If she had a family that wanted to see her…
Well, she had Melanie’s family, who had always treated her like one of their own, but it wasn’t the same. They loved her and always included her in family dinners, holidays and birthdays and made her feel welcome, but they’d never called her on her shit, told her when she was messing up like they did with Melanie. Not that she normally complained when it meant that she could join in the fun and torment Melanie, but it would be nice to belong, to really belong.
Then there was her family…
They avoided her at all costs and seemed to be going out of their way to let her know that she wasn’t important to them. Which was fine with her, because she’d rather not have to deal with them for any reason.
“Do you think that you can walk to the truck?” Lucifer asked, pushing her hair out of the way so that he could see her face.
She probably could, but…
“I would prefer to be manhandled,” she said with a sniff since she’d felt that she’d more than earned it after the scare that he’d given her.
“You’re going to vomit if you try to walk,” he guessed correctly.