Hope.
Hope of a future I was terrified of wanting. A future I was afraid I didn’t deserve. Noah had kept me from totally drowning in the water that was slowly taking over my life.
No longer. I walked among the cross. The love I felt for our child would never be lost or forgotten. That love would be tucked safely away in a corner of my heart where he would never be forgotten.
Life started again today with the promise of hope.
Smiling, I patted Rocky on the neck and said, “You feel like running boy?”
Nodding his head up and down, I laughed.
“Let’s go then.”
Turning Rocky, we headed back to the open field where it only took a small amount of pressure from my legs to set Rocky free.
With each pounding of Rocky’s hooves on the ground, I smiled bigger until I was screaming out in joy as we both ran free through the pasture.
Hello world.
I’ve missed you.
Grace
“Grace! What in the hell are you doing? I need to talk to you,” Meagan called out.
Looking in the mirror, I stared at myself as I stood in my bathroom. Chuckling, I shook my head. “Dare I even dream?” It had been three weeks since my little walk among the crosses.
I think I knew then.
Taking a deep breath in through my nose, I exhaled it out and whispered, “Here goes nothing.”
Closing the bathroom door, I chewed on my lip as Meagan continued to knock on my bedroom door. I couldn’t concentrate with her banging over and over.
Letting out a frustrated sigh, I opened the bathroom door and marched over to the bedroom door and threw it open.
“Jesus H. Christ, Meg! What in the hell is wrong with you?”
Meagan pushed her way through and walked into my bedroom.
Turning around to face me, Meagan jammed her hands onto her side and glared at me. “Why is Gray here?”
Pulling my head back, I looked at her like she was crazy. “Um . . . he’s Noah’s cousin and family. Why?”
Meagan closed her eyes as she slightly shook her head. “He drives me crazy, Grace.”
Wiggling my eyebrows, I asked, “In a good way or a bad way, Meg?”
“Fuck you, Grace,” Meagan said as she flopped on my bed.
Laughing, I made my way over to her and sat next to her. “Meg, it’s okay to like him. I know for a fact he’s kind of into you.”
Maegan shot daggers from her eyes at me. “He is like kryptonite, Grace. He is so bad for me, yet I can’t seem to stay away from him.”
Slamming my hands over my mouth, I widened my eyes. “You and Gray?”
“No. I mean, we have more of a stick and move method to our friendship.”
My mouth dropped open as I said, “Stick and move method?”
Meagan shrugged her shoulders and said, “Yeah, you know we fuck, then I leave, then when we’re both feeling lonely, we fu—”
Holding up my hands, I stopped Meagan from talking. “I get it, Meg. I. Get. It.”
“I’m happy with that arrangement, but Gray keeps . . . he keeps . . . ugh! Men!”
Falling backward, Meagan let out a dramatic sigh.
“He keeps what?”
“Wanting more! I can’t do more.”
Lying next to Meagan, we both stared at the ceiling. “Why can’t you do more, Meg?”
“Oh Grace. I want more than anything to do more, but I’m not good enough for him.”
Sitting up, I hit Meagan in the leg. “What in the hell does that mean? Meagan, you are more than good enough for Gray. I’d have to say he isn’t good enough for you.”
Lifting her hands over her head, Meagan grabbed a pillow and pushed it over her face as she screamed into it.
Standing up, I stared at her as she dropped the pillow to her side. “Feel better?”
Sitting up, Meagan rolled her eyes. “No.” Looking into my eyes, I saw Meagan’s eyes glass over. “Grace, you know how I went through all that shit in college. The bullying and everything?”
Nodding, I said, “Yeah, how could I forget.”
Swallowing, Meagan looked out the window and said, “There was one girl who seemed to just hate me. She was the one who started the rumors and shit.”
“I remember. What about her?”
Meagan’s eyes captured mine and I could see nothing but devastation. “She works with Gray. He took her to lunch the other day. I saw them together when I ran into them. I was taken back to college and I froze as she stared at me with that stupid bitch looking face of hers.”
“Holy shit, no way, Meg. She lives in Durango?”