My friends were all starting to arrive for my sweet sixteen birthday party. Mama and Daddy decided to throw me a huge party. It was meant to be a surprise but in a heated argument they let it slip and ruined the surprise for me. The fighting between my parents was getting worse with each passing day. Daddy was working more and more and he hadn’t come home yet after having left early this morning. Mama is distracted these days, barely functioning and not noticing what’s going on around her. Tanner is being more distant than ever. He hardly ever talks to me anymore unless it is just the two of us. I sent him a text this morning wishing him a happy birthday and he has yet to answer his phone.
The doorbell rings again, “Sweetheart, can you grab the door?” Mama asks. I don’t know why she couldn’t do it; she was sitting on the step just staring into space.
My friends Sarah and Bella stand on the porch dressed up in pink and black dresses giggling and carrying on about Lord knows what. Those two are forever laughing and getting in trouble.
They squeal, “Happy birthday, Rhea!”
I hug the both of them before they enter the house. After they pass by me I take a step out onto the front porch and glance over towards Tanner’s house. He’s home. His bedroom light is on but yet he still hasn’t answered my text.
I decide to try one more time before giving up.
Me 7:30 pm: I know you’re home. Your light is on. Where are you? I need you. My birthday isn’t the same without you.
I wait a few minutes, hoping and praying he answers. Giving up, knowing he isn’t going to respond, I sigh and look once more before I head back inside to my party. Tanner has turned his light off. My heart cracks just a little more. Everything is falling apart it seems.
I open the door and Mama is standing there smiling. It’s fake; she’s putting on a show for the guests. “Sweetheart, you’re daddy isn’t gonna make it home for the party.”
My shoulders sag in defeat, “Okay.” I mean what else was I supposed to say? I’m not surprised by this. He’s choosing work over his one and only daughter yet again.
For the rest of the night I avoid Mama. I don’t want to see the pity in her eyes. I’m feeling no pain. Tommy snuck in alcohol and I’ve slowly been sipping on it all night. It’s easing the pain in my chest; I don’t care that my daddy isn’t home, don’t care what mama is doing and I’ve stopped checking my phone for a text that I know isn’t coming.
Braydon wraps an arm around me and kisses me on the cheek. It’s sloppy and wet and grosses me out. His breath smells like stale cigarettes and beer. “What’s up, darlin’?”
I shake my head while holding my breath as he talks. The pungent aroma of his breath nauseates me.
“Whatcha say we go out back?” Braydon pulls me to his chest and wraps his other arm around me.
Braydon is cute but he’s too touchy feely. He’s always flirting with me and telling people we’re dating but we aren’t and never have, never will. We’ve kissed a few times but that’s it. He’s tried more but I’ve never let it progress past that. My heart tells me I’m holding out for one person; the very one I have repeatedly checked my phone for over and over tonight.
I take a step away from Braydon as he starts to sway, “No, Bray.”
“Aw, come on, darlin’.”
I shake my head, “Not happenin’.”
I leave him standing there and make my way toward the kitchen needing some fresh air. Knox and Rex are there leaning against the kitchen counter, girls flanking both sides of them.
Rex sees me first. He comes over and hugs me. “Happy birthday, Rhea.”
I kiss his cheek, “Thanks, Rex.”
Knox wraps me in his arms next lifting me off the ground. “Happy birthday, Little One.”
I giggle, “I’m not so little anymore, Knox.”
He sets me back down, “You’ll always be little to me, Rhea.”
I take a bottle of water from the fridge, “Have y’all seen Tanner?”
Knox and Rex exchange a look and my stomach tightens. That look tells me they have, they know what’s going on, and that he’s not coming.
Rex speaks up first, “Yeah, we stopped there first.”
“Mom’s still over there talking to Emma.” Knox explains.
I nod, “Is he coming over?” It’s a stupid question to ask because I already know the answer.
Knox looks down to the floor, “I don’t think so. He said it’s not a smart thing to do.”
My eyebrows furrow, “Whatcha mean?”
Rex looks up to the ceiling, “He was heading out somewhere and told us to just come over here.”
I get the chills but yet my body feels heated. He’s never skipped out on one of my parties when he’s promised he’d be here. I shouldn’t be surprised. Everyone is breaking promises that they are making me lately but somehow his hurts the worst though.
Knox bumps his shoulder into mine and says quietly, “He said to meet him at the spot at midnight.”
I stare at Knox and c**k my head. “Our spot?”
Does he know something that I don’t? Does he know how strained things are right now between Tanner and me? Does he feel the same shift that I’m feeling too?
“I know, Little One, more than you think I do.”
“Know what, Knox?”
“Things are changing.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I’ve tried to be numb to the whole situation, block it out, but it looks like I can’t do that for much longer.
“Everything is so messed up, Knox.” I let a single tear fall. I feel a shift in my life but I’m not sure what’s causing it. I’ve tried to ask Tanner but he says not to worry about anything. Everything has a way of working itself out.
Knox and Rex wrap me in their arms as I let the first round of many tears to come fall. I don’t want to grow up; I want to stay oblivious to the world. I want to spend my summers running on the beach with the boys. I want the parents to call us for s’mores when they have the fire on the beach just perfect for us. I want all the laughs. I want my family and even my extended family happy again. But when things are so far gone, how do you right the wrongs?
The party wraps up around eleven-thirty that night; the only people still here are Knox and Rex. They are sitting on the couch in the living room, “Are y’all staying over?” I ask taking a seat next to Knox on the couch.
The boys, when they are in town, will either sleep in the spare room at my house or over at Tanner’s. They’ve been doing this for years. I wish Audrey and Austin would just move back to Fayetteville with all of us.