“Please, Finn. I want you.” Her eyes were wide as she looked into mine.
“Are you sure?”
I had to make sure before I took something from her that I could never give back.
Her fingers dug into my back, pulling me so close to her that I could feel her heartbeat against my chest.
“Yes. Please.” The desperation in her voice matched my own.
Reaching into my night table, I pulled out a condom. The foil crackled as I ripped it open. She looked down and watched as I slid the slippery rubber over my hardness. Swallowing, she looked back up at me and I saw the nervousness in her expression.
I braced myself above her and adjusted my hips. I knew it was going to hurt her, so I leaned down and began to kiss her hard and deep to take her mind off of it. Once she was into the kissing and wrapping her arms around my neck, I pulled back and pressed into her in one swift movement.
She broke the kiss and gasped in pain. I stopped moving and sat there seeded deep inside of her.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
She felt amazing wrapped around me. It took everything in me not to let loose and go hard and fast.
She nodded with big, shocked eyes. “Yes.”
I wasn’t so sure, and the last thing I wanted was to hurt her more. “Do you want to stop?”
“No. Don’t stop.”
So I didn’t. I waited and kissed her more, letting her get adjusted to the feel of me. After a while, natural instinct kicked in and she began rolling her hips beneath me. It felt amazing. I began moving my hips as well—withdrawing slowly before moving back in.
It felt different with Faith. Even with the condom on, I felt as if I could really feel her. She was warmer and felt better than anything I’d ever felt in my life. I told her so over and over again as I rocked into her and angled my body in ways that made her make more noise.
The world around us ceased to exist as we panted each other’s names—our bodies slid together in a way I’d never experienced. It was as if I were the virgin. Sex with Faith was beyond words. I wasn’t only physically connected to her; I was emotionally connected as well, which made it feel a hundred times better.
Fingernails dug into my back as she threw her head back and cried out her release. It was my undoing. I buried my face into her neck, held her closer, and released my all for her. I died a little in that moment, and Faith was my heaven.
Seventeen
Faith
I lay next to Finn and watched him sleep. The alarm clock beside his bed blinked twelve midnight and lit the corner of his room red with every blink. His chest moved up and down with his deep breathing. Every now and again, he’d make a sweet noise of contentment and I’d smile to myself.
I could hardly believe I was no longer the innocent girl I once was. I’d sinned in the worst way, but I’d welcome hell if it meant being with Finn. We were in love and being with him that way, I could almost forget the drama with my dad. I had until the sun came up to decide what to do. Either I’d risk Finn going to jail and stay with him, or I’d give in to my dad’s commands and walk away from love and everything that I wanted for myself.
I knew if I told Finn the truth and gave him my options which one he’d pick, but the thought of Finn in jail made me feel nauseated. He was too good for that. He was too good for the life he was living. Technically, I hadn’t seen Finn dealing drugs, but would my dad lie to me?
His abs felt hot against my fingertips as I ran them down his body. He turned toward me in his sleep and gathered me in his arms. I felt so safe there, like no one or nothing could reach me. My eyes grew heavy, but I fought sleep for as long as I could. I needed to stay awake and at least try to contemplate what to do. I was practically asleep when I heard Finn whisper, “I love you, Faith,” in my ear.
It felt like five minutes later when a loud crashing noise woke me. I sat straight up in an empty bed. The alarm clock blinked two a.m. in my face, letting me know I needed more sleep.
Throwing back the sheet, I slid from Finn’s bed and pulled my dress back over my head.
Bright light spilled into the room as I silently pulled his bedroom door open. There was no one outside his room, but every now and again, I’d hear someone talking from down the hallway. I followed the voices and ended up in front of the master bedroom.
I didn’t want to be rude and go in, but all I could think was what if someone in there needed help? What if Finn needed me? When I heard his muffled voice through the door, I knew I had to go in. I should’ve knocked, but if Finn was in the room doing something drug related, I wanted to see it with my own two eyes.