“Yeah, sure. You don’t need to ask my permission, Axe.” I wipe my hand across my face and give him a weak smile.
“Here.” He thrusts out a pill bottle. “I figured you could use it while you’re with us. A friend of mine helped me out.”
A friend is code for a drug dealer, but on closer look, my eyebrows raise when I read the label. I nearly roll my eyes. It’s the same horse-sized maternal supplements my mother bought me. It’s cute, sweet even, and I promise myself inwardly that I’ll take them, even if I have to crush these suckers into powder with the back of a spoon to get them down my throat.
“Thanks, Axe. This’ll help a lot. It’s good stuff.”
“Only the best for my boy’s little one… and for you.” Axe clears his throat and looks at Tate in the bed. “He’s gonna be fine. You know that, right? You don’t need to be doing all this goodbye, spew your feelings bullshit. He’ll be there for you…and the baby. I won’t even have to force him or anything.”
I sharply glance up at him, putting the pills on the bedside table with narrowed eyes. Axe has been listening in on my confessional? A slow stream of anger simmers beneath my skin but I keep it in check. Maybe he has a reasonable explanation. Though I doubt it very much.
“It was more for me than anyone, cathartic as hell.”
“No doubt. I hope you don’t mind that I mentioned it. Couldn’t help it. You’re not quiet. And my room’s right next door. Thin walls and all that…oh, and can I be the first one to call you an honorary Mongols MC member?”
“You’re a mean bastard,” I say jokingly. “Christ, you heard that?”
“Uh-huh, but don’t worry. I won’t hold it against you.” He clears his throat. “But…in case you ever doubted it, that stubborn son of a bitch loves you too, Molly. I promise you that. The past little while, he’s been different. He’s been good, faithful and shit. Long before that night, we all found out about the little one. For this guy, the baby’s a major dealio. Sure, he still acts like a clown and an all-around douchebag, but that’s because his head didn’t catch up with his heart. It’s a man thing. We’re stupid like that. Anyway, what I’m saying is don’t confuse his silence for not caring. You know the shitty hand he was dealt early in life. Trust me when I tell you this is his once in a lifetime shot to be in a real family. He’d give anything to have that, even if the fucker will probably take a whole lifetime to admit it.”
I nod but can’t say anything. Not without crying again.
Axe rubs the back of his head. “Okay, it looks like this spewing feelings thing is contagious. I’ll be downstairs getting my made for TV drama sounding ass a drink.”
My heart pounds in my ears. I know now that my fear of rejection’s nothing compared to the terror I faced when I thought Tate might die.
“Okay…and thanks.” Axe nods, saluted, and is on his way out the door when I add, “But, Axe?”
He swivels in the doorway, rubbing his beard with his hand, and his eyebrows raise in question. “Yeah?”
“If he’s a dick and doesn’t want this baby, I’m kicking his ass when he gets better.”
“I’ll be right beside you with the shotgun. Promise.”
We share a light smile before he leaves. With a sigh, I turn my attention back to the pale man lying half-naked in bed. Even unconscious and bleeding, he’s eye candy to me. Which probably makes me a bad person, but I can always blame it on the baby hormones.
After a few hours of waiting and light sleep, Tate stirs on the bed, his fingers twitching around mine.
I lean closer to him. “Tate?”
He stirs even more, and my heart starts to race. I can’t take my eyes off him. I’m almost too afraid to hope. My gaze moves from the steady rise and fall of his chest to his fluttering eyes. Suddenly he blinks, and immediately I turn into a teary-eyed, blubbering, ugly-crying baby. I can’t contain the relief as my whole body sags into my chair. He might just make it.
“Tate, can you hear me? Are you okay?” I ask, and it comes out all hyphenated with whimpers and sniffled inhales.