Bethany smiled back. It was hard not to like Mia. She was genuine. There wasn’t an ounce of fakeness to her.
“Okay, let me get this gravy done,” Mia said, sliding from the barstool. “The menfolk will start to get restless and cranky.”
Twenty minutes later, everyone was seated at the formal dining table. The centerpiece was beautiful. Gorgeous, vibrant red poinsettias with elegant tapered candles on either side. Elaborate candelabras were positioned on the sideboard and the lights were dimmed to cast an intimate glow over the table.
Gabe and his father occupied the two ends of the table with Mrs. Hamilton on her husband’s left and Mia to the left of Gabe. Bethany had been positioned across the table from Mia and Gabe and Jace were on either side of her, with Ash next to Mia and across the table from Jace.
The food was delicious but Bethany found herself lost in the flow of conversation. The problem with being homeless and penniless was that she had nothing in common with these people. No common interests. She hadn’t kept up with recent events. She was clueless about sports, the world of finance, and even more clueless about business.
The longer the meal went on, the more conspicuous Bethany felt because of her prolonged silence. The others were starting to glance at her with concerned looks and Bethany pasted on a bright smile, nodding and acting as though she were concentrating on her food. And she was. Even being with Jace for as long as she’d been now, it was still ingrained in her not to waste food. She still lived with the idea that she never knew when her next good meal would be and so she had to make the most of the one she was enjoying.
As if finally sensing just how ill at ease she was, Jace reached underneath the table, rubbed his hand down her thigh and then lightly squeezed just above her knee.
He leaned over her to get a roll and murmured, “Relax, baby.”
She was mortified when it appeared that Gabe heard Jace. Gabe glanced in her direction, his eyes softening.
She just wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole. Better yet, she really just wanted to go back to her apartment. She was in sensory overload. Too many people. Too much conversation. She wasn’t used to having to perform social niceties.
It wasn’t that they were horrible or that she didn’t like them. It was just awkward and out of her scope. She felt completely inadequate despite Jace’s repeated attempts to make her feel as though she belonged.
That was on her. Jace, his family, no one had made her feel that way. It was strictly her own doing. Her own insecurity.
“I love your tree,” Bethany said quietly in Mia’s direction.
Mia beamed. “I do too. I adore Christmas trees. Jace used to always take me to Rockefeller Center for the lighting of the tree. It was a tradition I looked forward to. It was where Gabe proposed to me.”
Bethany’s heart twisted at the instant warmth that spread over Gabe’s features. His gaze was riveted on Mia.
“I love Christmas trees too,” Bethany said wistfully. “I never had one. A real one, I mean. In an actual home.”
As soon as the words popped out of her mouth, she wanted to die. Her look of horror couldn’t be contained. She couldn’t believe she’d just blurted that out. She couldn’t bear to gauge the others’ reactions to what she’d said.
Before she said anything else to humiliate herself, she shot up from her seat. Jace reached for her, but she was just beyond his grasp. She left the table, heading blindly for the kitchen.
“Jesus,” Ash muttered. “She’s never had a Christmas tree?”
Jace was standing, torn between going after her and giving her a moment to compose herself. He glanced at his friend and then at the grim expressions on Gabe’s and Mia’s faces, the soft sympathy in Mrs. Hamilton’s eyes.
“This has been torture for her,” Jace said quietly. “This whole day. Damn it, I shouldn’t have made her come.”
“Did we say anything wrong?” Mia asked anxiously.
“No, baby girl, you did everything fine. I appreciate it. This is just hard for her. She’s not used to any of the things we take for granted. She’s not used to being around people, much less people who care. She was a nervous wreck about meeting you all. She doesn’t want to embarrass me.” He broke off with brittle laughter. “She doesn’t think she’s good enough for me.”
“Shit,” Gabe murmured. “I hope you put an end to that crap.”
“I think maybe we should go,” Jace said, casting a look of apology to the table.
Mia nodded and Gabe rose, putting his hand on Jace’s shoulder. “If you need anything, let us know.”
“Will do. Thanks for the great food, Mia. You outdid yourself.”
“Give Bethany our love,” Mia said softly.
Jace smiled at her. “I will.”
Chapter twenty-five
Jace hugged Bethany to his side as they hurried into the cold and toward his waiting car. She hadn’t met his gaze once after he’d told her they were leaving. Mia and Gabe, hell, even Ash—especially Ash—had been extremely gentle with her, hugging and kissing her good-bye and acting as though nothing had gone wrong.
But Bethany had been mortified. It was evident in the tight lines of her body and the anguish in her eyes.
He ushered her into the car and kept her close to him as they pulled into traffic. He’d already given his driver their destination when he’d called to tell him they were ready to leave Gabe’s apartment. She didn’t even notice when they didn’t head in the direction of either of their apartments. She likely thought he planned to take her to her apartment. Maybe even thought he’d stay over with her.
As if she was staying anywhere but his place on Christmas night.
He was growing more and more impatient with the distance between them. He wanted her in his apartment, in his space. In his bed every night. No, there hadn’t been a single night since he’d moved her into her apartment that they’d spent apart, but many of those nights had been spent at her place.
His mind told him not to move too fast, not to push too hard, that the end result could be disastrous. His heart just wanted . . . her. In his arms, his bed, his life. Any way he could make it happen.
When they pulled up in front of Saks Fifth Avenue, Bethany finally became aware that they hadn’t gone back to her apartment. She lifted her head and gazed around in consternation.
“Where are we?”
He leaned over to silence her by kissing her. Then he opened his door and gently pulled her from the car.
“Jace, what are we . . .”