“No, Jack.” She shook her head adamantly. “I don’t do that anymore. You know that. I can’t go back to that. Ever.”
“Still, they’ll be here if you need them.”
“How did you get them?” she asked, dread crowding her chest. “How could you afford that? Tell me you didn’t borrow more money.”
He glanced up, swallowing the last bite of his omelet. “I didn’t borrow money. Someone owed me a favor. He hooked me up.”
She closed her eyes. “Jack, you can’t keep doing this. You know it’s no good. It’s no way to live. I don’t want you taking drugs either. You can beat this. It doesn’t have to be this way. Not now.”
His gaze hardened. “The way we’ve been living is no way to live. We survive, Bethy, we don’t live. You know that. And sometimes the pills make the surviving a little easier. Besides, you may have moved up in the world, but I haven’t.”
“That’s not true!” she protested. “What’s mine is yours. You know that.”
Jack shook his head. “Do you really think your new boyfriend is going to want me hanging around here? Think about it, Bethy. What man would want his girlfriend’s homeless brother as excess baggage? You can’t be that naïve.”
She sucked in her breath as pain exploded in her chest. “You know I won’t choose between you two. You know I’d never do that. I love you, Jack. I owe everything to you. I’m not going to forget that. If Jace can’t accept that, then he and I don’t have a future.”
Jack reached across the bar to put his hand over hers. “Don’t be stupid, babe. Don’t throw your chance away on me. You’ve got a chance to make something good. Don’t ruin it.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I won’t just forget about you. I’m not like that. Do you honestly think I could live here, make a new life, while you’re out there on the streets? If you do think that then you don’t know me.”
His gaze softened. “You’re the only person in this world I love and who loves me. And that’s why I want the best for you. Do this for me, okay? I just need to leave my stuff here for a few hours. I’ll come back. Maybe we can have dinner together. I always thought it would be cool if we had a place where you could cook and we could pretend we were normal people just like everyone else.”
She nodded, her pulse still hammering in her veins. She’d call Jace. He’d understand if she called off their evening. “I can cook something. Tell me what you’d like. I’ll make sure I have the stuff for it.”
“Whatever you want to cook. I’ll eat whatever. Surprise me.”
She turned her hand so she could squeeze Jack’s. “I’m just glad you’re here. Really. I’ve been so worried about you.”
“You shouldn’t worry about me, babe. You know I can take care of myself.”
He pulled his hand back and then drained both glasses before setting them back down. “I need to roll. Got shit to do. I’ll try to make it back by dark.”
“Please be careful,” she begged.
He gave her that cocky grin again. “Always do. Thanks for the food and the clothes. I left my pack in your bedroom. I’ll get it later, okay?”
She nodded and watched as he walked out of her apartment as fast as he’d come in. Then her gaze lighted on the bottle he’d left and she snatched it up to put it away in one of the cabinets.
Worry and anxiety ate at her until her stomach tossed and turned. What was Jack into?
She checked her watch and then went to the drawer where Jace had left money for her to use. She wasn’t sure where the nearest market was, but she could ask the doorman. Hopefully it wasn’t a long walk. The weather sucked and she didn’t want to waste money on a cab.
Already she was running possibilities through her head. She would cook a fabulous meal. All of Jack’s favorites. And she’d make him sandwiches to take with him because she knew he wouldn’t agree to stay. She could buy nonperishable items he could stow in his bag so he’d have something to eat for more than a few days.
She peeled off several of the bills and stuffed them into her jeans pocket and then headed down to ask the doorman for the nearest place she could buy groceries.
• • •
Bethany ducked out of the cab after paying the fare and hurried, bags in hand, to her building’s entrance. The doorman had advised her to take a cab and she’d relented when she’d seen the increase in rain. It had morphed from a light drizzle to more of a steady downpour. Not what she wanted to be caught out in on her way back from the market carrying groceries.
When she unlocked her apartment and walked in, she was stunned to see Jace in the living room, his expression dark and forbidding. He advanced on her before she even had time to deposit the bags on the kitchen bar.
“Where the fuck have you been?” he demanded.
Her eyes widened and she glanced down at the grocery sacks. “I—I went shopping.”
“Anything else you want to tell me?”
The accusation in his voice stung. What on earth did he think? Did he believe she was cheating on him? Sneaking out to see a lover? How had he even known she was gone to begin with?
He wrested the bags from her grip and dropped them with a thud on the bar before turning his furious gaze back to her.
Her mind blanked. She took an instinctive step back and Jace swore.
“I’m not going to hurt you, damn it.”
“Why are you so angry?” she asked. “I just went down to the market. I was only gone an hour.”
“You think this is about you going out for groceries?”
His tone was incredulous.
“What else am I supposed to think? You’re acting ridiculous, Jace. I went to get groceries, for God’s sake.”
“Let’s try this instead. I’m at work in an important meeting and I get a call from Kaden, who informs me you have a visitor.”
Her mouth dropped open in shock. “How does Kaden know anything about who’s at my apartment? He’s not even supposed to be protecting me anymore.” Her eyes narrowed as understanding slowly dawned. “You still don’t trust me.” It nearly killed her to say those words, the truth. And it was the truth. He was bristling with rage and he’d hired those men to watch her. “He wasn’t here to protect me. He was here to spy on me.”
“It would appear I have good reason,” Jace snapped.
Hope died inside Bethany. She turned her painful gaze on him, hurt beyond words. “Jack was here. But then you already know that.”
“Yes. Jack,” he spat out. “What the fuck was he doing here?”
Her brow furrowed and this time she took a step forward, anger tightening her features. “He came to see me. He was here at Christmas, only I wasn’t here because I was with you. He had to spend the holiday alone. No food. No warm place to be. Alone, Jace. On the streets. I don’t need to tell you what a wonderful holiday that makes for.”
“How did he even know to show up here?” Jace demanded.
She blinked. “I gave him the address.”
“And when did you do this?”
She flushed. “The day I went to see him.”
Jace’s lips tightened into a nearly indistinguishable line. “You invited him here.”
She nodded. “Of course.”
He swore again. “There is no ‘of course’ to it, Bethany. What the fuck were you thinking?”
“What is wrong with you?” she demanded. “Am I not allowed to invite people to this apartment? Did I get it wrong and it’s not really for my use? Or is it only uses I have your approval for?”
“You invited a man who damn near got you killed. He got you attacked. He’s the last person you need to have anything to do with.”
The blood drained from her face. “He never intended for me to be hurt. He’d never do anything to hurt me.”
Disgust flooded Jace’s face. His eyes were swamped with it.
“Really, Bethany? And why do you suppose he’s here now?”
She didn’t like his tone. His expression. She liked nothing about this confrontation. He was so angry. Sickness pitted deep in her stomach, curling and knotting into a painful ball.
“He came to see me,” she said in a low voice. “He’s cold and hungry. I fixed him something to eat. I went out for groceries so I could cook dinner for him.”
Jace reached over the back of the couch and pulled up Jack’s backpack. He dangled it from his finger, his eyes going cold with rage.
“Is that the only reason he came? Where is he now?”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply. He said he had things to do. He wanted to leave the backpack here because he didn’t want it stolen from him. You don’t understand how it works out there. If someone sees you have anything, they take it. They’ll stab you, hurt you, kill you to get it. You can get murdered for five dollars.”
“Oh I have no doubt someone would kill him for what’s in here,” Jace bit out.
He yanked it and gaped open the top so she could see inside. What little blood was left in her cheeks fled and she wavered, teetering unsteadily until she had to reach out to the bar to gain her balance.
Drugs. Lots of drugs. Prescription pills. What looked like marijuana and other stuff she had no idea of but it looked . . . bad. Really bad.
“I found this in your bedroom,” Jace bit out. “With this shit in it. I hope to fuck you didn’t know what was in it when you agreed to let him leave it here.”
“I didn’t know,” she whispered.
“Jesus, Bethany. How long are you going to allow him to manipulate you? Until someone kills you? What’s it going to take for you to wake up and see the truth staring you in the face?”
“He won’t hurt me!” she shouted. “Just stop it!”
Jace tossed the bag back onto the couch, his entire body shaking with anger.
“I won’t have it. Not here. Not where you are. As long as you wear my collar, you’re under my protection. He’s not allowed here, Bethany. Either you tell him that or I will and next time I won’t come alone. I’ll bring the police and I’ll have him arrested. I don’t give a fuck if that pisses you off or not. My one and only concern here is you. I don’t give a fuck about a man who holds you in so little regard that he’d expose you to this.”
“I won’t choose between the two of you!” she yelled. “I won’t! You don’t understand. I can’t turn my back on him. I won’t!”
“So that’s it then,” Jace said grimly.
“It doesn’t have to be! Why can’t you just leave so I can work this out with Jack? Why can’t you trust me that much?”
“It’s not you I don’t trust,” he said just as loud. “Damn it, Bethany, use your head! Do you know what would happen if you were found with this shit? It would be you going to jail, not your precious Jack. You’d take the rap for him, and do you think it would make any difference?”
She shook her head. “No. No! Just go, Jace. I’ll take care of this. Just go.”
“You forget this is my apartment,” he ground out.
She went even whiter, feeling sensation leach from her face. She went numb to her toes. Then she turned around and walked stiffly to the door.
“Bethany, stop.”
It was a command. One that, for the first time, she ignored. When she heard him start after her, she started running. Out the door toward the elevator. She got inside, hearing Jace as he ran down the hall shouting her name. She punched the button repeatedly, praying it would close.
It slammed shut when he was two feet from the door, his curses ringing in her ears as the elevator began its descent.
When she got to the lobby, the doorman tried to stop her. Jace had probably called him. But she darted around him, ignoring his pleas for her to stop. She ran outside, and into the street, nearly getting hit by a cab that came to a screeching halt mere inches from her legs.
Before he could get out, she ran to the passenger side and threw open the door.
“Are you crazy?” the cabbie bellowed. “I could have killed you!”
“Just drive,” she choked out. “I don’t care where, just get me out of here, please.”
She must have looked deranged. Tears she hadn’t even realized she was shedding now formed wet trails down her cheeks. The taxi driver’s face softened before he turned around and then accelerated, waving at angry drivers behind him who’d been forced to stop when he’d braked so hard. Horns blared but faded in the distance as they sped down the street.
Chapter thirty
Bethany walked the last block to her apartment, numb. Numb from cold. Numb from the relentless rain soaking through her clothing. She hadn’t gone far in the cab. She hadn’t had much cash left on her from her shopping trip. And so she’d walked. Endlessly, her thoughts in turmoil, hurt crashing through her heart.