He was sick of her doing things that touched him like that and then left him sitting there wondering if he was looking too deep into things or if she was having the same inner struggle as him.
Like the way she snapped if anyone questioned their mating as she had with Brodie and her uncle. Was it because her sense of possessiveness now ran bone deep just as his did, or was it just her wolf? Like how she held back from marking him. Was that because she was already finding it hard to remain detached, or was it only her wolf finding it hard? And like how she had repeatedly tried so hard to help him form so many alliances when he had never asked that of her. Was it because she cared for him in some way and wanted to help him, or was it that she just wanted to help the pack as a whole?
He didn’t want to be going through this weird inner struggle on his own and, as idiotic as it was, he wanted her to care about him. Mostly because he was afraid that he just might care about her.
And so his bad mood remained with him throughout the long journey home and was still there hours later while he was sat on one of the chairs by the lake soaking up the midday sun. He knew Taryn wouldn’t let him brood in peace much longer so it wasn’t a surprise when he heard footsteps. Unfortunately it turned out that those footsteps didn’t belong to Taryn.
“Hey,” called out Dante in his usual gruff voice.
“What do you want?”
“Yes I will have a seat, thank you, Alpha.”
“No one likes a smart ass.”
He took the chair opposite Trey’s and straddled it. “I take it things didn’t go well with her uncle.”
Trey sighed. “Actually, he was happy to see her. All of them were pretty hospitable.”
“Well I can understand why that might piss you off since – though you’ll never admit it – you don’t want her to leave, and nor do you seem ready to face just why that might be. But I don’t see why it would have Taryn all irritated.”
He chose to ignore the first half of what Dante had said. “Her uncle didn’t believe we were true mates, said the mating wasn’t real.”
Dante winced. “Ooh, yeah, that’ll do it. She might know this mating’s temporary, but she sure doesn’t like anyone saying it’s not real.”
“He also said I was bad for her. Said I couldn’t give her those things a woman wants. Then he suggested she stay there and mate with another wolf.”
“Prick.”
After a pause, Trey said, “She defended me, you know.”
“Of course she did. You’re her mate. Mates don’t stand for that shit.”
“Yeah. Her wolf wouldn’t want anyone insulting her mate, would she.”
Dante snickered. “You’re one blind bastard.”
“Blind?”
“Or maybe just dumb.” Shaking his head, he looked away and sighed. When he looked at Trey again there was a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Well…I don’t see what you’ve got to be pissed about. Her uncle’s an ass, but he’s right. You are bad for her. You can’t give her the things a female wants because the mating’s temporary. And, yeah, there’s a good chance she’ll go and mate with another wolf when she leaves.” When Trey growled warningly Dante’s face took on a superior, smug, know-it-all look. “You know, you could just ask her to stay for good.”
At that moment, Trey hated him. Hated him for seeing far more than he should. Hated him for making Trey see exactly how much he wanted that – which seriously scared the shit out of him. He hated his wolf too. Hated him for constantly fighting Trey over the idea of Taryn leaving, for being so unreasonably possessive of her. He also hated Tao for wanting Taryn, he hated the wolf she might one day mate with, and he hated her uncle for speaking the truth he’d been trying to ignore. Mostly, he hated his-fucking-self for caring about a female who didn’t even care enough to mark him. “Why would I do that?”
“The two of you are good together. You actually laugh these days. You behave a lot like true mates do.”
“Look, Dante, I’ll admit I like her – she’s fun to have around and she knows what she’s doing in the bedroom – but it wouldn’t have mattered if I hadn’t liked her or if she was someone else, we still would have mated and f**ked. This is about a deal, that’s all.” Trey was aware that he’d sounded pretty harsh. He was also aware by the scent that suddenly flavored the air that Taryn had heard him. Shit.
Taryn had been following Trey’s scent, hoping to hunt him down and get him to stop brooding when she heard Dante’s words: “You know, you could just ask her to stay for good.” It was said that eavesdroppers tended to hear things they didn’t like. In this case, the saying had proven to be true. It wasn’t as though she’d thought things were any different than how Trey firmly stated to Dante, and it wasn’t as though she’d thought he cared for her. Yet the effect was still like a hot lance slicing through her. Why? For the same reason that a dull pain had struck her chest and her windpipe had begun to ache…She loved Trey Coleman. The realization punched the breath from her lungs.
God, how horrible was this. She loved a guy to whom she was basically a faceless f**k. She could be anyone to him. In other words, she was no one and nothing to him. Her wolf – who was already insecure in the mating due to not having marked Trey – was tempted to curl up and whine. Taryn was tempted to punch the ass right in the face. Overruling all that was an uncharacteristic urge to flee. To run far and fast. To get away from this person who had so much power over her. To find somewhere to be alone while she faced her pain.
As the conversation abruptly came to a halt and awkwardness filled the air, Taryn knew they had sensed her presence. There went the option of retreating as if she hadn’t overheard. Although the urge to lunge at Trey was great, Taryn had been dealing with a**hole Alphas long enough to know that it was imperative that they didn’t believe they had the power to hurt you. They would stomp all over you if they spotted a weakness, just like her dad and Roscoe. She couldn’t afford for Trey to know that she felt anything for him.
Having pasted an easy smile on her face, she walked out of the trees and over to the patio table, examining Trey’s cautious expression as well as Dante’s apologetic one. “Hell, Dante, was it really necessary to needle him when he was already in a bad mood?” she said playfully.
“I, um, we just -”
She rolled her eyes and waved away his attempt to explain himself. “I just came to see if Trey had stopped with the whole brooding thing, but I see he hasn’t so I’ll leave him to sulk some more.”
Feeling like absolute shit, Trey said, “Taryn, wait -”
“I promised Shaya I’d call her so I’ll see you guys later.”
“Taryn, wait.” He reached out and caged her wrist with his hand but when he tried tugging her to him she shook him off like he was a spider.
“I said I’ll see you later.”
“Look, what I said…” Words completely failed him because, as he’d told her before, he wasn’t good with apologies. He wasn’t good with words at all.
“Trey, it doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does.” It especially mattered because he could sense her hurt, could feel it.
“You only said the truth. It wasn’t anything I didn’t already know.”
Trey growled, pissed at himself for saying dumb shit and pissed at her for walking away from him. “Taryn?” His call went unanswered.
Dante sighed. “You f**ked that one up.”
For the rest of the day, Taryn kept herself thoroughly occupied. She called Shaya. She went shopping with Grace for groceries. She did a run around the border of pack territory. She showered. She did some laundry. She beat Trick’s ass at Mario Kart. Hell, she even watched a T.V. program about knitting with Greta during which they engaged in a battle of wills. Anything so that she didn’t have to think about Trey or what he’d said or, more importantly, the fact that she…cared about him. She wouldn’t say the L word. It was officially banned from her vocabulary.
She had tried real hard throughout the evening meal to appear normal, but she was pretty sure that no one had bought it because the guys had crowded around her supportively while shooting scowls at Trey. Still she had persisted with the act. When Trey had spoken to her, she had talked to him and when he had pulled her onto his lap, she had let him. There had been a sort of desperation in the way he held her so tightly yet gently. Like the way a person would try to hold a butterfly – careful because it was small and delicate but on-guard because it was flighty. None of his touches were seductive or teasing. All were soft and soothing, kind of apologetic. But it didn’t ease her hurt or make her relax. How could she be relaxed by the touch of a guy she…cared for when to him she could be anyone?
After the meal Taryn had done as she usually did – she lay down on what was, hands down, the most comfortable sofa in the world to watch some T.V. When it had reached the time when she normally went to bed, she hadn’t been able to move.
Maybe it was dumb that she had originally thought that if she just had a little time physically away from him she could somehow build some mental walls that would freeze him out again. Could freeze out the pain. But even as she lay there reminding herself that none of this was real, that Trey wasn’t important, that soon her part of the deal would be over, another part of her was considering just flipping him the finger and leaving. She wasn’t sure she could bear being around him every day knowing he thought so little of her.
Then she took in the wolves in the room and realized that she couldn’t run. This whole thing was about more than just Trey. They didn’t deserve to suffer just because of one a**hole. She had always dealt with a**holes. What was one more to throw into the mix? He wouldn’t even be the first a**hole who she cared about who felt nothing for her.
Still, even though the constricting sensation around her chest seemed to ease, she knew there was no way she could lay beside him tonight knowing that he would snuggle into her and then try to bring her to orgasm as she woke. Not tonight. Tonight was a night for rebuilding her walls, and to do that she needed distance. So instead of saying her goodnights and making her way to bed, she let her eyes drift shut and took comfort in the scents and voices around her until they lulled her to sleep.
It should have sent him into threatening mode to have other males giving him looks that warned him away from his mate. His mate. But Trey honestly didn’t blame them for the way they were crowding Taryn’s sleeping form and regarding him like he was a threat. He’d f**ked up. Just like Dante had said. Whether he’d meant for Taryn to hear those cruel words or not, he had hurt her and there was now a gulf a mile wide between them and he didn’t know how to close it.
She was now uneasy around him again and emotionally wary of him, both of which were like a blow to his system. He wanted her to know that he was sorry, that he hadn’t meant what he had said, that he would never purposely hurt her, but each time he had tried to get her alone she had managed to slip away. She was freezing him out again. It burned even more this time than it had the first time. His wolf had also sensed her withdrawal as well as her pain and both ate at him.
As Trey stared down at her he promised both himself and his wolf that he would fix this. He refused to believe what Dante had said – that he might have broken something that couldn’t be mended. No, he refused to believe that. He couldn’t accept that. Because feeling the sting of her withdrawal had given him a taste of what it would be like to be without her, and although Trey still wasn’t sure about those chest pangs or the emotions that tormented him or the extreme sense of possessiveness, he now knew that he couldn’t be without her.
Despite his low ‘move out of my way’ growl, none of the males moved even an inch from their positions. Tao, Trick, Dominic and Ryan remained sitting on the floor with their backs against the sofa while Dante was sitting on it with her feet on his lap and Marcus was beside her head stroking her hair. Trey had to admire their loyalty to their Alpha Female, and it was a good thing considering that she wasn’t going anywhere, but no one kept him from his mate. His wolf was in full agreement with him on that.
He released another menacing growl, letting his eyes flash wolf. Reluctantly the males on the floor shuffled along to make room for him. Trey bent and gently scooped her up to cradle her against his chest. She fussed a little in her sleep but didn’t wake. He held her tighter against him, stilling her movements, and strode out of the room through the tunnels.
In the bedroom he placed her gently on the bed and then carefully he removed her clothes. Once he’d removed his own he slid under the covers and held her possessively to him, wanting his skin against hers. As she always did, she wriggled a little until she found that groove that seemed to have been made just for her. Then instantly she settled and her expression melted into that sinful angel look she had when sleeping.
Cupping her face and breezing his thumb along her cheekbone, he whispered, “I’m sorry, baby.” Then he nuzzled his face into her hair and closed his eyes, feeling a strange kind of peace now that he was no longer at war with himself and had made the decision to do whatever it took to keep her.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Ordinarily Trey’s trigger for waking was either a hunger pang in his stomach or a full bladder. This morning, it was something else. As he lay there with his eyes closed, he felt something nagging at him. Something was different, wrong, something that agitated his wolf and had him reaching for the surface, annoyed with his human side for not realizing the problem.