It wasn’t that he hadn’t experienced that emotion before. Of course he had. Having an underdeveloped conscience and an explosive temper didn’t mean he didn’t know fear. What was bothering him right now was that he had felt such fear for Taryn, had feared she would be seriously hurt and feared she would be taken from him just like that – and at his own hands. He couldn’t even say it was his wolf’s fear. His wolf had been going through his own shit right then. No, that had been all Trey.
It had to have been a direct consequence of the natural crazy-possessiveness and crazy-protectiveness that came with mating. It was obviously age-old instincts pushing to the forefront, taking over. Trey understood that the mating would be temporary, but his instincts to protect his mate were obviously going to override his thoughts. Obviously. Just like his instinct to mark his mate and make her submit to him had overridden his true indifference to those things.
Yeah, that was all it was, all it could be. Obviously. That didn’t improve his mood any because there was another issue that was bothering him. Taryn shouldn’t have been able to calm his wolf.
When a wolf shifter went into feral mode they behaved a lot like a rabid animal. They attacked senselessly, they felt no emotional attachments, they lost all sense of reason and logic. And yet her scent and voice had reached his wolf even through that fog.
Trey had felt how quickly his wolf had recognised her as his mate, how quickly he had switched from wanting to kill to wanting to protect. The only reason his wolf had been reluctant to leave the carcass was because he still hadn’t been stable enough to understand that the sandy wolf was dead and no longer a danger to Taryn.
If his wolf was this attached to Taryn now, what would he be like in three months? What would happen when she left? Trey’s wolf growled his objection, confirming Trey’s suspicion that his eventual separation from her could be more problematic and uncomfortable than he had anticipated even though they hadn’t imprinted.
Unlike with true mates, a relationship between imprinted mates could wither over time. For an unhappy imprinted couple it wasn’t simple for them to shake hands and go their separate ways because of the metaphysical bond that existed between them. The pain of that kind of separation was on a psychic level just as much as a physical one.
For most wolves, it meant constant migraines, a lingering sense of emptiness, and slipping in and out of depressive states for a few years, if not longer. Some wolves even retreated within their human half completely, unable to function without their mate. The worst case scenario for any wolf separated from their mate was that they turned rogue, remaining in wolf form and turning completely feral, attacking anyone they came into contact with – like his mother had.
After his dad had banished him, his mom – who had been a submissive wolf – had for the first time in her life rebelled against his dad’s authority. When he refused to reconsider his banishment, she had left with Trey and the others, believing that she would cope with the separation because her bond with his father had been through imprinting as opposed to them being true mates. However the separation had proven too difficult for her, most likely because she had been a submissive wolf. Within six months she had turned rogue…and Trey had been the one to kill her.
There was no way that he was prepared to go through something like that again. As long as he and Taryn didn’t imprint, there was no risk of either of them suffering any of those effects when they separated, but it was obvious that his wolf was already becoming attached to her. And that spooked the hell out of Trey. So instead of going straight to Taryn to check on her like he wanted to, he shut himself in his office.
Another thing that spooked him was the knowledge that if she hadn’t been with him in that Mediation meeting, if she hadn’t kept him calm with her touch, he would have most definitely lost it and went for Darryl’s throat. Never had he been able to truly rely on another person. Never had there been someone for him to draw strength from. But that had been okay because he hadn’t wanted to need anyone. He hadn’t been the type of kid who craved physical affection – which had been a damn good thing since he’d never gotten it.
He had always prided himself on not having that weakness of needing anyone or anything. Having a mate, having a connection that came with mating, was f**king with that. Not that he believed for even one minute that the mating connection could override the way he functioned and had always functioned, but he didn’t have any interest in encouraging the cravings for his mate by feeding them.
Maybe if he distanced himself from her, spent little time with her, didn’t touch her, it would ease the matter and ease his wolf’s attachment to her. He needed to ignore these urges he had to be with her, to touch her, to mark her entire body, to ensure his scent was all over her. Those urges had nothing to do with Taryn as a person and everything to do with the fact that she was who he had mated. If she had been someone else, things would still have been the same.
Would they really though? a voice in his head questioned, a part of him who thought he was talking out of his ass.
Of course it would. That wasn’t to say that he didn’t like Taryn. He did. And he respected her which said a lot. And yeah, okay, there was that weird thing between them, that primal hunger. And she made him laugh, and she was refreshing because she wasn’t afraid of him or to speak her mind in front of him, and she –
Dammit, no! No, the attraction was mostly just due to their mating. It was just his instincts driving him, not his regard for Taryn. Trey wasn’t at the mercy of those instincts or his wolf. He had a mind of his own and that mind was going to rule how he behaved from here on out.
Unless the situation required him to touch her – like when they were posing as mates – he would resist doing so. It would probably be best not to have sex with her again given that he could never resist the urge to mark her whenever he was inside her, but he couldn’t guarantee that sex wouldn’t happen because if she made advances he very much doubted he’d be able to ignore them.
To satisfy his overprotectiveness he would allocate her a bodyguard. No his wolf wouldn’t like her spending large amounts of time with another male, but his wolf would just have to deal with it because Trey was going to get a handle on this situation and he was going to start now.
Taryn jerked awake at the sound of laughing. Three heads that had been leaning against her legs swerved around.
“Oh sorry,” said Tao, “it’s just that this episode of Friends is hilarious.”