Maybe it was the power of thought because Ella had always believed it. In hindsight, it was probably why she’d never had an insecure bone in her body either, not when it came to boys or going after what she wanted in life.
“You already have so much more to offer than any of those girls,” her mother had said. “Just wait. One day when you get older and learn the only tricks those empty-headed girls have—the makeup, the hair, and the pretty clothes—none of them will stand a chance. The boys already see the difference now. Just imagine then.”
It was a point that had once again been brought to her attention by Carmen just a week ago when Ella had insisted Carmen was crazy for thinking Felix might be interested in Ella. “He could have any and as many girls as he wants,” Ella had argued. “Probably at the same time too.” She laughed. “What in the world could he want with me?”
It seemed her mom was once again right. But was she? There was still Grayson’s theory, and Felix pointing out that he was up for the challenge couldn’t have been just an eerie coincidence, could it? Though Ella had to admit his explanation had been quite a sincere one.
At the same time, Ella was trying to be smarter than to let someone like Grayson get in her head. So far it was working. She’d decided to give Felix the opportunity to prove himself, but there was something else now that worried her.
“Mommy,” she whispered, eyes tightly shut. “I’m not ashamed of Daddy. You know this. But what if this doesn’t work out? It wouldn’t be a quiet breakup like with Grayson.”
It’d be so much more painful.
Ella fisted the fabric of her blouse against her chest. She couldn’t even bring herself to say it aloud here just between her and her mother. Knowing her mother, Ella assumed she already knew what Ella feared. Already she could tell that, if she let herself give into Felix, she’d be falling for him hard. Harder than she’d ever fallen for anyone. What if she was wrong about his sincerity?
Ella was good about putting on a facade—grace under fire. It was what she’d done most of her life. When she was scared or sad or nervous, she’d somehow summon the strength to not be defeated by any of those emotions. Just as she had from the moment she’d met Felix, she’d managed to not turn into a puddle at his feet all this time from just hearing his voice then seeing those amazing eyes gaze deeply into hers. But now she’d been treated to his kisses, had his hard body pressed against hers, and felt what he was feeling for her in his touch—the very thing he said he couldn’t begin to explain. If she gave into it, she’d be a goner. Ella didn’t know if she had the strength to get past the potential heartache. She felt it already. Felix had the power to break her.
“What about Daddy?” she whispered. “What if I break and it makes him worse?”
“Ella?” Carmen’s worried voice called out, startling her out of her thoughts. “Are you in here?”
Her eyes shot open, and she flushed the toilet with her foot. “Yeah,” she said. “I’ll be right out.”
“Oh, thank God.” She heard Carmen exhale. “I started jumping to all these conclusions.”
Ella walked out of stall and smiled at Carmen. “Why? Because I’m late? I know I should’ve texted or called.”
“No, that’s fine.” Her friend quickly went into one of her excited blithering rambles. “It’s just that someone said he’d seen you get in a cop car outside and leave, which I assumed was Grayson’s, but then someone else said she’d seen the cop car speed away with the lights on and you in it. Then just now I overheard someone say he’d nearly been knocked over by Felix rushing through the gym like a madman, and then Drew comes in looking for you, saying you left with Felix and she was dying to know what happened. I was like what in the world? I don’t think you’ve ever just not shown up to class with at least getting a text into someone. So you know me. I was having all these crazy thoughts.” She took a quick breath, making Ella laugh. “I’m serious. I was like did something happen to her dad or maybe Grayson saw you with Felix and pulled one of his asshole stunts tricking you to get in the car with him so he can whisk you away or—”
“He didn’t trick me,” Ella said, lowering her voice then looking around to make sure they were the only ones in the ladies’ room.
“What?” Incredibly, Carmen’s eyes went even more animated than they’d been that whole time. “He saw you with—” Ella nodded, putting her finger over her mouth. “And he—”
“I got in willingly,” Ella explained. “But, yeah, it was pretty much what you said happened. C’mon. Let’s get back to the class. Who’s running it right now?” Ella asked, suddenly getting her priorities back on track.
“Sonia’s here,” Carmen said quickly as they walked out of the ladies’ room. “So what happened? Why was Felix—?”
“Shhh!” Ella said, looking around. “Don’t say his name.
“Okay, okay,” Carmen whispered loudly. “So why was he running through the gym like madman?”
“I don’t know,” Ella said, her heart swelling suddenly at the thought that Felix was that concerned for her; then she remembered the fire in his eyes when he’d seen her tears. “Maybe it’s when he saw me come in through the back and go up the stairwell. He caught me halfway up and we talked.”