I giggled again as he cursed, fighting the last hook and eyelet. Finally it came free and then my laughter faded, replaced by nerves and desire. I did want this. I was nervous, yes, and afraid a little, yes. But I wanted it. There was no one else I could imagine doing this with but Kyle.
The bra joined our clothes on the floor, and then Kyle stepped back to look at me. I shifted my weight from foot to foot as he scrutinized me. I knew he thought I was beautiful, and I wasn’t uncomfortable in my own skin usually, but his blatant perusal of my nearly naked body was difficult to bear gracefully.
I bit my lip as I summoned the courage to do what came next; Kyle’s thumbs hooked in the elastic of his boxers, and I mirrored the action.
“Together?” he said.
I nodded, my voice stuck in my throat. He hesitated a beat, then pushed his boxers down to his knees and stepped out of them. I froze, unable to move, paralyzed by the sight of him, completely nude now.
It was his turn to shift in discomfort as I stared at him. He was beautiful. I had no real life experience to compare it with, but he was big, down there. He looked nothing like the images I had burned into my head, thank god. He was proportionate, and his proud, tall member seemed to beckon me.
His voice distracted me. “I thought we were doing that together.”
“Sorry,” I said. “I was going to, but then I saw you, and—” I couldn’t finish.
He lifted his chin, rolled his shoulders, flexed his fingers, summoning his confidence. He took a step towards me, and I forced myself to relax.
“How about you do it for me,” I said, shocked a little by my own daring.
“I like that idea.” His hands went for their favorite spot, just on the outward bell of my hips.
I was wearing lacy red underwear to match the bra, and Kyle’s hands drifted over the top of my butt, tracing the lace, following the line of the elastic. I forced myself to breathe as he pushed them down to my thighs, forced my eyes open and up to his as he palmed my bu**ocks.
I wiggled my hips and thighs, and then the scrap of lace was on the floor and we were naked together. My heart was a wild drum in my chest, in my ears. I was trembling from head to toe, fear and excitement and desire. His skin was hot against mine where his hands touched my bare hips, my ribs, his thigh against mine. The tips of my br**sts brushed his chest, sending little thrills of lightning through me. His palms arced across my back, then dared downward to my ass, cupping and kneading, a little too hard, but I didn’t mind.
My hands moved of their own accord, palming the knots of muscle on his back, following the ridges and ripples of his spine. He sucked in a breath as I touched his backside, marveling at the cool hardness of it. I cupped it as he had mine, then clawed my fingernails lightly over the firm half-globes.
I felt something twitch against my belly as I touched him. I looked down between us to see his erection, the tiny hole at the very tip leaking clear fluid.
Glancing up at him, I saw his eyes widen as my hand delved down between us, and then his breath caught when my fingers touched him.
“God, Nell. You have to let go…it’s too soon.”
I released him and brushed my palm across his chest, then cupped his nape and drew him down into a kiss. The slow burn of our usual kisses smoldered, then burst into a blaze. I found myself pressed against his body, his hardness against my softness, and the fire burned hotter with the feel of his muscular physique flush against me.
He backed me up against the bed and I crawled backward, feeling the pound of nerves resume as Kyle followed me.
“Are you—” Kyle started.
I interrupted him. “Yes. I’m sure. I’m nervous and scared, but I want it more than I’m scared.” I bit my lip, then admitted, “I’m on birth control. I got it a week ago, just in case.”
Kyle’s eyes widened. “You did? Why didn’t you tell me.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I just…it never felt like the right time. I was embarrassed, I guess.”
Kyle slid off the bed and dug his wallet out of his suit coat, withdrew two condoms and set them on the table beside the bed. “I got those.”
“Are you sure?” I asked him. He seemed nervous, now.
“Yeah, I’m sure. Like you said, I’m a little nervous. I mean, I don’t want to hurt you, or do anything wrong.”
“You won’t do anything wrong. You won’t hurt me. Just…we’ll go slow, okay?”
He nodded, then ripped open the condom and rolled it over himself.
He knelt over me, his hands on either side of my face, knees between mine, eyes locked on me, searching me.
I pulled him toward me and rested my hands on his back, then leaned up to kiss him. The heat of the kiss erased both of our fears, or eased them, at least. He moved into me, slowly.
I felt stretched, then a pinch, sharp and quick. I winced, and Kyle froze. His breathing was ragged already, and I could feel tension in his muscles. I was biting my lip hard now, feeling the pricking pain ease and the wonder of foreign fullness take over. I touched his backside, pulled him against me, encouraging him to move.
It wasn’t long before he stilled, groaning.
There were no fireworks, no screaming, no wild sweaty thrashing, but it was still amazing.
Kyle got up, disappeared into the bathroom, and came back. I cradled my head against his chest. Minutes passed in silence. His body felt hard and hot beneath me, and the feeling of being held by him this way, naked skin against naked skin, was almost better than what had gone before.
I felt a tear trickle down my cheek and drip onto Kyle’s chest. I wasn’t sure where the tear had come from, or what it meant. I blinked, trying to keep back the others that threatened, not wanting Kyle to think I hadn’t enjoyed it.
“Are you crying?” Kyle asked.
I nodded, and let the tears spill. “It’s…I’m not upset or anything. Just emotional.”
“Emotional how?”
I shrugged. “It’s hard to explain. I’m not a virgin anymore. We can’t go back, now. Not that I’d want to take it back, because it was a wonderful experience. But…it’s a big deal, you know?”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.”
I tilted my head up to look at him. “I love you, Kyle.”
“I love you too.”
The second time was incredible. I felt a fire blossom low in my belly, a feeling like I might explode, or implode. I’d brought myself past that point on my own, obviously, but this was different.