Callum took his time, gathering himself up on his feet again before responding to me. His dark, penetrating eyes commanding me to look at him. “I—” he carefully began, “deeply care for you. More than any woman after her.”
I didn’t even have the power to flinch because I had known what was going to come out of his mouth before he’d said it. Still, for him to confirm it, stabbed me into reality over and over again. Giving up on my loved ones wasn’t my forte, but I guess I have to learn how for the first time.
It took every ounce in me to give him a smile, which was full of love and understanding; that he didn’t need to explain to me why he cared deeply, why he couldn’t love me, or why he wasn’t capable of giving me what I wanted when I was more than willing to give him everything that I had. My present and my future, I wanted it to be with him.
How could I spend the rest of my life next to a man who was in love with another? True, sex would be out of this world. Not to mention that I would get to keep him all for myself. He’d spoil me to no end and I wouldn’t want for anything in the materialistic aspect… but could I accept that even though I had him, there would be times that he’d think about Zara? Wonder about her and what life could’ve been if she hadn’t done what she had? Did I love him that much that I’d be more than willing to sacrifice not being loved by the man I had chosen to be with?
The answer was, unfortunately, a resounding no.
My family had so much love to give. My parents were in love with each other and I wanted what they had. I shouldn’t settle for anything less. If I had to give my all to a man, I’d expect the same exchange.
Callum and I weren’t meant to be, simple as that.
My heart was in pieces as it cracked a little bit more inside.
The urge to dwell on my broken heart was too tempting, however I had to see this through and leave his house. My brokenness could be dealt with later on. Right now, I needed all of my will to say goodbye to him.
We were having a staring contest as he waited for me to give him an answer.
It took every ounce in me to gather the courage to walk up to him, knowing that this might be the last time, for a very long time, that I was going to see him in the flesh.
“Promise me that you’ll take care of yourself?” I pleaded, knowing his penchant for racing and whatever else could get his adrenaline skyrocketing towards pure euphoria.
His quick transformation was heart wrenching. It tore me up inside, but I didn’t have that much choice.
Callum slowly distanced himself from me. He became stoic. Unreachable. “Take care of myself,” he muttered, nodding. “Why bother with asinine attempts of niceties?” Dark eyes cut through me. “I think I’ve begged enough. If you want to leave, go. You know you’re way around.”
“That’s harsh.”
He made a careless shrug and then spun around, not facing me. Callum’s immediate detachment rankled on my threadbare composure. It hurt, but I knew he was purposely doing this to protect himself. This was his way of ejecting someone from his life; with a cold attitude and instant rejection.
“So this is it?” I lingered longer. For each second I stayed, it made me die a little bit more inside… and yet, my feet remained rooted, the situation unresolved for me.
“This was your choice, Stella, not mine.” He spoke with indifference. “But you may be right, it’s time we end this. I was getting bored, anyway.”
His back still faced me, so I took a moment and burned this into memory, seared him into me. I knew he said those words because he was angry, but it didn’t make any difference because it still managed to wound me.
“I’ll be heading out then,” I whispered as I darted his silent form another quick glance. I steadily strode into the hallway then out of the house.
Out of his life for good.
Someday I’ll love again…
Those words echoed into my broken heart. If that day ever came, I’d better be falling for a man who was capable of loving me as a whole because I wouldn’t expect anything less.
One thing I had learned with my short affair with Callum, though, it truly was pure hardship to force yourself to walk away when you had irrevocably fallen into the deep abyss of loving a man. To muster enough will and discipline yourself to turn your back on you heart, hear it break repeatedly and still remain intact and sane, was one of the toughest trials I’d had to battle.
Saying goodbye was the most difficult thing to do when my heart wasn’t ready to let him go.
This lesson would forever be scarred into me.
Chapter 33
Callum
I was in the middle of a conference call when Eleanor delivered something on my desk. I barely gave her notice as I continued on with the German investors.
An hour later, I was getting up to meet my mother for lunch when I noticed the large, fat envelope Eleanor had placed on the side of the table. It didn’t have any labels or stamps, so I assumed it was work related.
Well, I had guessed wrong.
I know the agreement was to stay married until I was at the age of twenty-six. That contract was specifically designed for you and signed by you, not me. It’s high time we put this behind us and move forward.
Best,
Stella von Berg
Divorce. She wanted a bloody, f**king divorce! “Like hell!” I yelled as I crumpled the paper and threw it across the room. The papers that she needed to be signed went in the same fashion.
The lovely English rose had finally grown some thorns and I didn’t like it one bit.
~C~
It had been two weeks since I had last seen her. I knew she had moved to Hyde Park Gardens because her funds wouldn’t be released unless I signed the agreement. Before I had done that, I asked to see the place she wanted to buy and also asked for my own copy of the house keys.
It was her first time living alone. I wasn’t convinced that it was a bright idea, knowing she was a woman who was dating. Stella demanded I set her free and I had done just that, but now she wanted a divorce? That was unlikely.
I let myself into her home and waited for her. After an hour and a half, I was getting impatient. It was almost one in the morning, on a Tuesday; where the hell was she?
My body froze when I heard the faint sound of the keys jiggling… and laughter. Her laughter along with another man.
Brilliant. Just want I needed, another fight.
Their laughter ended when they spotted me, standing there, brooding as I awaited her return.
The man spat out, furious. “Who the f**k are you?”