I stopped. I couldn't explain how it had been in the ambulance. Cold and alone. I was terrified. She never made a sound the whole ride. Her eyes never opened. Her hand didn't even twitch. The paramedic lifted it to feel her pulse. When he let it go, it fell with a thump back down. It was like she was dead.
"What then, Sam?"
I gasped from his voice. More tears came. I ignored them now. They slid down. I couldn't stop. But I continued, "They asked me where my dad was, but I couldn't tell them. I had no idea. I don't know how they found him. Jessica's mom came down. I think my mom had put her name on the medical forms so I stayed with Jessica until David came to get me. When he did, he didn't want to talk about it."
I stopped again. This was the worst part of it.
"They told David she tried to commit suicide or maybe that was a lie he told me. But there was a wire hanger next to her. I saw it when I went in the bathroom. One of the paramedic guys kicked it underneath a dresser in the bathroom. When David took me back to the house, I got it and cleaned it up. Then I threw it in the trash. I don't know why I did that. I don't think I wanted anyone to know what she really did. I realized now maybe he knew, maybe they all knew, but I wanted to protect her. I don't know why anymore."
I was eleven. I shouldn't have had thoughts like that at that age.
"I didn't want David to find out because if he did, I was scared that he was going to leave again. I couldn't handle being alone with my mom. She would've gone nuts, but she did anyway. Later…"
"Sam?"
I shook my head. I couldn't tell him what happened later. It was too painful, too much. I whispered, "I can't."
"It's okay." He reached for my hand and squeezed it. He pressed a kiss to it before he rested our hands in his lap.
That was good. He was warm. He was safe. He was strong. I breathed a little easier. I needed his touch. I needed to remember that it was okay now. I was okay now.
Then I said something that I never remembered before. "Mason."
"Hmmm?"
I remembered their voices one night. My mom's and David's. I had crouched outside of their door and stuck my ear against it. I'd been so scared he was always going to leave, but he never did. This was another fight. I hoped he wouldn't go, but I heard her scream. And I heard his response.
"Sam?"
"I don't think they were David's."
"What?"
I opened my eyes and turned to him. Another repulsive feeling started to grow. "They had a fight that night; she wanted kids, but he couldn't give her any. He told her he couldn't have kids. I remember it now." I stopped as I realized the extent of what my mother had done. "She had cheated on him. She got pregnant. Then she killed the babies."
"Because they weren't his?" His voice broke at the end.
I nodded. "That fight was before." Then I sucked in my breath. "That fight was that night."
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
We didn't talk about our families after that. The only thing that we discussed was what would happen, but Mason just shrugged. Things were left unsettled. I couldn't be around my mother. I knew that much. I also knew that Mason and Logan wouldn't be moving back without me. So all the questions and decisions regarding my mother and his father were left unsaid, Mason said things would get settled one day so I left it alone. When we got to that extravagant apartment, the normal doorman wasn't there. Mason said he didn't work nights, but a young college kid was instead. After a substantial amount of money, he agreed that if anyone called, we weren't there.
When we got upstairs, Mason texted Nate and Logan to let them know that we went away for a night. He didn't tell them where, but I knew how close all of them were. I'm sure the other two could figure it out. When I asked what they were doing, Mason gave me a crooked grin and picked me up. He didn't say anything more and neither did I. The rest of the night was spent with moans, kisses, caresses, and the need to get as close as our bodies would allow.
I started to fall asleep when the sun began to peek through the blinds. Mason rolled over and pressed a kiss to my shoulder. A jolt of pleasure coursed through me, and I grinned into the pillow. I snuggled deeper into the blankets and drifted off with his hand on my back.
When I woke, the room was masked in darkness. After a shower, I left the shelter of the bedroom, and the sunlight blinded me. I'd forgotten the apartment had windows for its walls. No one could see inside so I wasn't worried about that, but the light that shone through was staggering.
"You'll get used to it." Mason's voice trailed from the kitchen. He grinned as he stirred something in a pan on the stove. With only a pair of sweats that rested low on his hips, my mouth watered as I took in the sight of him shirtless. His oblique muscles curved underneath his pants' drawstring, but his stomach and back ones rippled as he continued to stir.
Everything about him was perfect.
"I bought juice." He gestured to their refrigerator.
"Coffee?"
Grinning, he nodded to a cup on the counter. Steam rose from the small opening in the lid. "Figured you'd want that too."
"Did you?" As I went to grab it, I trailed the tips of my fingers across the bottom of his back.
He whirled in a flash. Before my hands could touch the coffee cup, I was lifted onto the counter beside him. He was between my legs in the next heartbeat, and his mouth was slammed on top of mine before anything else registered with me.