'It would certainly simplify matters for me, if you were,' said
Lushington coldly.
She looked up with a hurt expression.
'Oh, please don't go back to that way of talking!' she said. 'It's bad
enough, as it is! Don't you see how hard I am trying?' 'I'm sorry,' Lushington said. 'Don't pay any attention to what I say.
I'm all over the place.' He mumbled the words and turned away from her as he stood. She watched
him, and desisted from digging holes in the ground. Then, as he did not
look at her again she put out one hand rather shyly and touched his
sleeve.
'Look at me,' she said. 'What is this for? What are we making ourselves
miserable about? We care for each other a great deal, much more than I
had any idea of this morning. Why should we say good-bye? I don't
believe it's at all necessary, after all. You have got some silly,
quixotic idea into your head, I'm sure. Tell me what it is, and let me
judge for myself!' 'I can't,' he answered, in evident distress. 'You may find out what it
is some day, but I cannot tell you. It's the one thing I couldn't say
to anybody alive. If I did, I should deserve to be kicked out of decent
society for ever!' She saw the look of suffering in his face again, and she felt as if she
were going to cry, out of sympathy.
'Of course,' she faltered, 'if it would be--what you call
dishonourable--to tell----' 'Yes. It would be dishonourable to tell.' There was a little silence.
'All I can hope,' he continued presently, 'is that you won't believe
it's anything I've done myself.' 'Indeed, indeed I don't. I never could!' She held out her hand and he took it gladly, and kept it in his for a
moment; then he dropped it of his own accord, before she had made the
least motion to take it back.
They walked on without speaking again for a long time, and without
wishing to speak. When they were in sight of Mrs. Rushmore's gate
Margaret broke the silence at last.
'Do you mean to take an early train to-morrow morning?' she asked.
'Nine o'clock, I think,' he answered.
There was another little pause, and again Margaret spoke, but very low,
this time.
'I shall be in the garden at half-past eight--to say good-bye.' 'Yes,' Lushington answered. 'Thank you,' he added after a moment.
They were side by side, very near together as they walked, and her left
hand hung down close to his right. He caught her fingers suddenly, and
they pressed his, and parted from them instantly.