Her eyes sheened. “I am, too.”
“Oh, stop acting like a pair of besotted fools.” Looked like I wasn’t winning her mother over any time soon. “This is completely unacceptable, Lee.”
“What is?” she asked. “Me being happy? Moving on from Will?”
“Will Carter is perfect for you,” her father argued. “We completely respect your decision to take a break from that relationship. But this boy?” He pinched the bridge of his nose, and I saw the ring. “Will is a fantastic young man that you’ve known for years. He’s strong, reliable, and a trusted part of this family.”
Fucking great. I was compared to Carter all day long on the flight line and now with Paisley’s parents. I couldn’t get away from the ring knocker. “Let’s not forget a West Point graduate,” I added, and then damn near bit my tongue off.
General Donovan tried to cut me down with a look. I didn’t shrink, hell, no. I straightened my shoulders.
“And where did you go to school, Lieutenant?”
“University of Colorado,” I answered with no shame. I’d gotten into that school on my own with a GED and a damn good essay. After all, I’d walked out on my entire past, so it wasn’t going to tag along anywhere.
He quirked one eyebrow. “Well, not every man can get into West Point.”
“Sir, not every man who gets in chooses to go.” His eyes narrowed. Fuck. Six years, and I’d never made a slip like that. “Theoretically speaking.” Right. Good cover. Not.
He kept his eyes trained on me like he was picturing a little red laser dot on my forehead. “I don’t approve of this.”
Paisley’s chin lifted. “I’m not asking you to.”
“You would do this without our approval?” Her mother didn’t try to hide her shock. “I didn’t raise you to be so disrespectful, young lady.”
Paisley swallowed. In Florida, she’d been more concerned with their disapproval than her own health. I gave her waist a squeeze, trying to convey everything I couldn’t say aloud. I support you, no matter what. If this is too much for you, tell me.
She covered my hand with hers. “You don’t seem to approve of much in my life right now, Mama. I love you, but I’m going to have to respectfully ask you to accept my choice.”
“You’re making absolutely asinine decisions! If your sister only knew what you were doing. You’re supposed to be more rational than this. You’re supposed to make the choices that are good for you, and not just the ones that might feel good that very second. Stop being such a child, Lee.”
I took a deep breath. Down, Hulk, down. “Please don’t talk to her like that.”
“Paisley,” she said softly.
“I’m sorry?” her mother shot at both of us.
“Say it. Paisley.” Suddenly, this fight wasn’t about me anymore. Paisley had opened the barn door on something I knew nothing about.
“Lee, what on earth are you talking about?”
“This is not the time, Paisley,” her dad said. His eyes cut to his wife, and his mouth flattened. The concern etched on his features made him seem more like a worried dad and less like the commanding general.
“I need her to say it, Daddy. Even if it’s just this once.” Her mom’s mouth opened and shut a few times, and Paisley’s shoulders dropped. “You can’t do it, can you? That’s why Will calls me Lee, too.”
“Pa—” Her mom choked back something that sounded like a sob, and her dad put his arm around her.
“You don’t say it, because you’re afraid you’ll say Peyton’s name instead, and you’ll be reminded that she’s gone and you’re stuck with me. I’m the one who didn’t play sports, didn’t excel at anything but reading. I’m the one who didn’t shine, didn’t bring you recognition, didn’t make you proud. If I didn’t love her so much, I’d hate her for what she’s done to me.”
“Lee—” Her mom shook her head. “This is not the time. For heaven’s sake, girl, we have guests.”
“You lost your daughter, and I’m so sorry, Mama. But I lost my sister, my best friend, my absolute idol. Then I lost my name.” She stared somewhere on the floor. “Then I lost me.”
“Paisley, stop,” her father pleaded. I couldn’t look away from her, from the sad strength I knew came from a place of such grief that you had no choice but to rebuild using the very ashes you’d been burned into. I wanted to stop the flow of pain coming from her mouth, but I’d never been prouder of her for setting it free.
“You need to calm down, Lee. This isn’t good for you,” her mother snapped.
“Oh, please, Mama. Like I’m going to drop dead of a heart attack for being honest. I’ve stood in her place. I’ve been with the man who loved her. I have come to every family breakfast, worked on base, and only taken classes on main campus once a week, just to keep you content. I ignore everything I want, because it’s what you need. But please, Mama.” Her voice broke, but she stood straighter than ever. “Please understand. Jagger is the only person in my life who knows me as just Paisley, and not Lee. I choose him. I choose him over living in Peyton’s shadow. I choose him over Will because I finally understand what it is to want someone so badly that you’re willing to risk what we’re going through this very minute. I choose him because he makes me feel alive, and amazing, and me. He makes me remember who I am. And I choose him over you because he can say my name without making me remember that you’d rather I’d died instead of Peyton.”