“Beyond what?” he asked, his voice sharp.
“I'd hurt your feelings,” she whispered. “And I wanted to—”
He was out of the bed and on his feet in under a second. He planted his hands on his hips and stared down at her furiously, oblivious to the fact that he wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. “You made love to me out of pity?” he spat.
“No!” She, however, was not oblivious to the fact that he was naked, and so her denial was directed to his knees.
“Look at me!” he ordered, his anger making his voice terribly harsh.
She raised her eyes a few inches, then lowered them again. “Would you please put on some clothing?”
“It's a little for modesty,” he bit out, but he pulled his breeches off the floor and put them on.
“I didn't do this out of pity,” she said, finally raising her eyes to his face, even though she'd much rather look at the ceiling or the walls or even at the chamber pot in the corner. “I did it simply because I wanted to do it, and I wasn't thinking much beyond today.”
“I find it difficult to believe that you, a person who craves stability and permanence, would embark on a short-term affair.”
“I wasn't thinking of it as such.”
“Then how were you thinking of it?”
Victoria looked into his eyes, saw the vulnerability he was trying to hide beneath his anger, and realized just how important her answer was to him. “I wasn't thinking with my head,” she said softly. “I was thinking with my heart. I looked up at your window, and you looked so sad—”
“As you have so kindly pointed out,” he said bitterly.
Victoria fell silent for a moment to let him speak. Then she continued with, “It wasn't just for you. It was for myself as well. I suppose I just wanted to feel loved.”
Hope flared in his eyes. “You are loved,” he said fervently, reaching forward to take her hands in his. “And you can feel that way every day of the rest of your life if you'd only let yourself. Marry me, Victoria. Marry me and make me the happiest man in the world. Marry me and give yourself peace and contentment. And,” he added, his voice dropping to a husky whisper, “love. For surely there has never been a woman loved more deeply and truly than I do you.”
Victoria fought against the tears that were pricking her eyes, but his words were too powerful, and she felt her cheeks grow salty and wet. “Robert,” she began, not at all certain what she was trying to say, “for so very long I have—”
“You might be with child,” he cut in. “Have you considered that?”
“I had not,” she admitted with a convulsive swallow. “But I—”
“Marry me,” he repeated, tightening his grip on her hands. “You know it is the right thing to do.”
“Why did you have to say that?” she said. “You know I hate it when you try to tell me what I want.”
Robert let out an exasperated breath. “That wasn't what I meant, and you know it.”
“I know, it's only that…”
“It's only what?” he said softly. “What is holding you back, Torie?”
She looked away, feeling rather stupid. “I don't know. Marriage is so permanent. What if I make a mistake?”
“If it's a mistake then you've already made it,” he said with a glance toward the bed. “But it isn't a mistake. Marriage won't always be easy, but life without you—” He ran his hand through his hair, his face showing his inability to put his thoughts into words. “Life without you would be impossible. I don't know how else to say it.”
Victoria chewed on her lower lip, aware that she was coming to feel the same way. For all that he'd put her through during this past month, she couldn't quite imagine life without his lopsided smiles, the twinkle in his eyes, or the way his hair never quite looked as if he'd brushed it properly. She looked up at him, her eyes locking with his. “I have a few reservations,” she began.
“You wouldn't be human if you didn't,” he said reassuringly.
“But I can see that there are several reasons why marriage might be a good idea.” She spoke slowly, working her words out in her head as she spoke. She shot a quick glance at Robert, half expecting him to yank her into another crushing embrace. But he remained still, clearly understanding that she needed to speak her mind.
“First of all,” Victoria said, “as you pointed out, there is the matter of a child. It was very irresponsible of me not to consider it, but I didn't and there is nothing for it now. I suppose I could simply wait a few weeks and see—”
“I wouldn't recommend that particular course of action,” Robert said quickly.
She bit back a smile. “No, I don't imagine you're going to let me go back to London, and I don't imagine that if I stay here—”
“I can't keep my hands off you,” he said with an unapologetic shrug. “I freely admit it.”
“And I won't try to lie and say that I do not”—she blushed—” enjoy your attentions. You know that I always have, even seven years ago.”
He smiled knowingly.
“But there are other reasons why we should or should not marry.”
“Should.”
She blinked. “I beg your pardon?”
“We should marry. Not should not.”
Victoria was finding it hard not to laugh. When he was eager for something, Robert was more adorable than a puppy. “I do worry that you will not let me make my own decisions,” she warned.