Victoria groaned with pleasure. She'd spent seven long years without so much as a hug, and she was starved for physical affection. She had known what it was like to be touched and kissed, and she had no idea how much she'd missed it until that very moment. His hand moved, and she dimly realized that he was fumbling with his breeches, opening them and—
“Oh, God, no!” she cried out, pushing at his shoulders. In her mind's eye she could see them from above. Her legs were open, and Robert was settled between them. “No, Robert,” she said again, wriggling out from beneath him. “I can't.”
“Don't do this,” he warned, passion still glazing his eyes. “Don't tease me and—”
“This is all you ever wanted, isn't it?” she demanded, darting off the bed. “All you ever wanted from me.”
“It was certainly one thing,” he muttered, looking as if he were in pain.
“God, I'm so stupid.” She crossed her arms across her chest in a defensive maneuver. “One would think I'd have learned my lesson by now.”
“As one would think I'd have learned mine,” he said bitterly.
“Please go.”
He stopped on his way to the door, just to be contrary. “Please? Such nice manners.”
“Robert, I'm asking you as politely as I know how.”
“But why ask me to leave?” He stepped toward her. “Why fight it, Torie? You know you want me.”
“That's not the point!” Horrified, Victoria realized what she'd just revealed. She wasn't sure how she managed to get the words out, but she forced herself to lower her voice and said, “For the love of God, Robert, do you understand what you're doing? I am within an inch of being dismissed from this post. I cannot afford to lose it. If you were to be found in my room, I would be tossed out on my ear.”
“Really?” He looked intrigued by the prospect.
She spoke slowly, carefully measuring her words. “I realize that you do not harbor any wealth of good feelings toward me. But for the sake of common decency, please leave!” She hated that she sounded as if she was begging, but she had no choice. At the end of the house party, Robert would leave and resume his life. This was her life.
He leaned forward, his blue eyes sharp and intent. “Why do you care? You can't possibly love this position so much.”
Victoria snapped. She just snapped. “Of course I don't love this position. Do you think I enjoy attending to the needs of the world's most monstrous five-year-old? Do you think I enjoy being spoken to as if I were a dog by his mother? Use your brain, Robert. What there is of it, at least.”
Robert ignored her insult. “Then why stay?”“Because I don't have any choice!” she burst out. “Do you have any idea what it is like not to have any choices? Do you? No, of course you don't.” She turned her back to him, unable to face him while she was shaking with emotion.
“Why don't you marry?”
“Because I—” She swallowed. How could she say that she had never married because she knew no man could ever live up to him? Even if his entire courtship of her had been false, it had been perfect, and she knew that she would never find anyone who could make her as happy as she'd been those two short months.
“Just go,” she said, her words barely audible. “Go.”
“This isn't over, Torie.”
She ignored his pointed use of her nickname. “It has to be over. It should never have begun.”
Robert stared at her a full minute. “You're different,” he finally said.
“I am not the same girl you tried to take advantage of, if that is what you mean.” She stood straight and tall. “It has been seven years, Robert. I am a different person now. As, apparently, are you.”
Robert left the room without another word, swiftly making his way from the servants' quarters to the guest wing where he'd been given a room.
What the hell had he been thinking?
He hadn't been. That could be the only explanation. Why else would he arrange for Victoria's charge to be entertained all morning and then steal into her room?
“Because she makes me feel alive,” he whispered to himself.
He couldn't remember the last time his senses were so finely tuned, the last time he'd felt such an exquisitely heady rush.
No, that wasn't entirely true. He remembered all too well. It had been the last time he'd held her in his arms. Seven years ago.
It was some consolation to learn that those years had not brought her happiness, either. She had been a scheming adventuress, intent upon marrying into a fortune, but all she had found was a miserable position as a governess.
Circumstances had certainly brought her low. He might be dead inside, but at least he had the freedom to do what he wanted when he wanted to do it. Victoria was desperately trying to hold on to a livelihood she hated, always fearing that she'd be tossed out without a reference.
That was when it occurred to him. He could have her and his revenge, too.
His body sang at the thought of holding her in his arms, of kissing every inch of that delectable body.
His mind raced at the idea that they might be discovered by Victoria's employers, who would then never allow her to watch over their precious Neville.
Victoria would be cut adrift. He doubted she would return to her father. She had too much pride for that. No, she would be all alone, with no one to turn to.
Except him.
He would need a very good plan this time.
Robert had spent two hours lying motionless on his bed, ignoring knocks on the door, ignoring the clock that told him that breakfast was no longer being served. He'd simply put his hands behind his head, looked up at the ceiling, and started to scheme.