I struggled to breathe as I rushed to my balcony to watch as he emerged from the lower level and strode confidently across the courtyard to meet Antony.Massive warships were already in the harbor and my pulse quickened at the sight of their billowing sails.I watched Hasani’s broad shoulders until he disappeared from my view.
And then he was gone.
I didn’t even bother to get dressed as I rushed from my room and fled to Cleopatra’s in my dressing gown.I found her already in a heap on the floor of her balcony.She knew that Marc Antony would also die this day.
Collapsing next to her, I wrapped my arms around her slender body and we sobbed together.This was definitely too much to bear… even though I had seen it coming, even though I had been through it before.
Sadness like Ihad never known overwhelmed me and I felt like I would never be strong enough to stand it.
“I can’t do this, I can’t.I can’t.”
I didn’t even realize that I had whispered out loud until Cleopatra wiped the tears from her cheeks and then grasped my arms, turning me to face her.
I stared directly into the steely eyes of the last pharaoh of Egypt.The determination and strength that I found there bolstered my resolve and I felt my own tears stop flowing.
“Charmian, you can and so can I.It is what it is… and we’re strong.”
She was beautiful and delicate and strong, all at the same time and I nodded as I slumped against her, while we watched the ships sail into the port.There were so many that the water was scarcely even visible between the thick, creaking wood of the boats and the huge billowing sails that filled the sky.
Finally, I sat up straight and pushed the hair out of my face, staring at Cleopatra with stinging, red eyes.
“I have to leave now, your highness,”I murmured as pain ricocheted in my ribcage.“I can’t stay here any longer. I’m sorry that I have to leave you this way. It is unbearable, I know.But in the coming days, know this… no matter what the pain is like here, we will survive this.”
She nodded, pain and grief washing over her face in waves. She was the only other person in the history of the world who knew what I was feeling right now.I felt closer to her than ever.
I watched Ahmose soundlessly appear in the queen’s chambers and stand silently against the wall, waiting for us to say our goodbyes.His eyes were kind and he was silent as he patiently waited. Cleopatra reached out to me and drew me close to her.
“Thank you, sweetling,”she whispered softly as she gently tucked my hair behind my ear.
As she moved, she stirred her soft, clean scent and I inhaled it, re-committing it to memory.
“I know that I will never again remember what you are and what I am.So I want you to know right now that I appreciate all that you do for me.I love you, Charmian.You are my most treasured one.”
She stepped back, tears streaming down her face.This was definitely too much to bear.I swallowed hard.
“I love you, too, Cleopatra.It is always an honor to serve you.”
“How will I know you in our next life?”she asked me hesitantly, her eyes frozen on mine.
“Your soul will always know mine, my friend.We will always be connected, all throughout time.And even though we will appear in different ways, our souls will always be the same.”
She nodded, then reluctantly pulled away, only to grab me for one last hug.As she stood with her slender arms wrapped around my waist, she whispered in my ear.
“Until I see you again…. Take care of yourself.”
I felt the tears streaming down my own cheeks, turning everything into a blurry mess.Blindly, I nodded to Ahmose.
Inhaling the fragrant Alexandrian breeze, I felt him take my hand and I listened as he began to murmur, his raspy voice blending into a chant.The bloodstone began to spread familiar warmth into my arms and I closed my eyes.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The afternoon sun in my room was blinding and I waited for my eyes to adjust, gazing around my brightly lit room.My bed was neatly made, my bedroom door swung widely open. Amazing. Ahmose had brought us back to the same exact moment that Annen had first appeared to me.Right about this time, I had been screaming … and my memories as Charmian had been unlocked.
Hasani.I gulped, fighting back tears.He was dead now.As were the rest of us.Pain ripped through my chest and I blinked away the memory of his perfect face.His eyes, his mouth… I pushed it away.I would have to grieve later.Right now, I knew I had yet another difficult conversation to attend to. I tried to ignore the burning in my eyes.
Turning to Ahmose, I found him staring at me, his onyx eyes glittering.His ancient body was still as he observed me.
“Charmian, you have done well.I apologize once again- I know it was unbearable.”
I nodded mutely, grasping for what to say.
“I know now why my memories are wiped away, Ahmose,”I murmured painfully.“This is unbearable.I’ve lost Hasani and I feel as though I just want to die, too.”
He stared at me in surprise.
“Charmian, you haven’t lost Hasani.I would have thought you had put that together.You’re a smart girl. You will find Hasani in this life.Or he will find you.One way or the other, you will be together again- justas you are in every life.Your souls are like magnets….attracted to each other life after life.”
I stared at him in shock.
“Then… Hasani is…”
“Your soulmate.”
My heart still felt like a frozen lump in my chest.But at the same time, I felt a tiny bit of peace. He wasn’t gone.He was mine.In every life.It was too much to wrap my mind around, but I felt overwhelming relief.I hadn’t lost him.I just had to be patient until I found him again.