Now that he is come, all will be revealed.
She had not wished to keep this secret. Indeed, she had tried to confide in Harlech a thousand times, but the right moment had never presented itself. No, to be brutally honest, she had made excuses so as to keep her husband in ignorance. Harlech would never expose her, but she had feared that the truth would drive him away from her. Surely after all that had happened, after all that she had lost, she deserved some happiness?
The answer to that came from behind her, in a voice that seemed too lovely to belong to a man. "How delightful it is to see a woman at such gentle work."
The hot, heavy scent of aniseed closed around her like a black wool cloak.
She bundled up the satin cord, tangling some of the shining strands she had been wrapping as she went to put the pile into her work basket.
"Ana." A black-gloved hand stopped her, trapping her fingers between the cord and the soft leather. "Are you not happy to see me?"
She faced him. "What would you know of happiness?"
"Not the welcome I expected, but it will do." He straightened. "It is astonishing how well you look. Your pretty face is the same as it was the day that my mother gave you to me."
"I am no longer an ignorant child desperate to feed my family. The family your mother let starve." She lifted her left hand, showing him the plain gold band that Harlech had placed on it. "I have protection now."
"My seneschal told me that you had taken a husband. Interesting news, I thought, considering your past… and mine." He walked around her, inspecting her as he might a horse. "I feared that time would somehow ravage your beauty, but you truly are as you ever were: a flame among ashes."
"The past is dead, and I belong to another." She felt his hand tug at her headrail, and she grabbed it, outraged. "You will not trifle with me. Not if you wish to continue this obscene charade."
"Why, Ana, was that a threat? You have grown up." He smiled. "I confess, I was shocked that you ran from the room as soon as you laid eyes on me. I expected the charade to end then and there, for you have been made an honest woman, You did tell this husband about me, did you not?" He bent close. "Oh, my. You kept your secrets from him. What a pity."
"Harlech did not know me until after the jardin wars were over. We have never discussed what happened to us before we met. It was not important." She refused to cower. "What do you want?"
"Power. Pleasure. Many things." He took a tendril of her hair that had escaped her headrail and tickled the side of her jaw with its ends. "We have so much to talk about, you and I. You will come to my chamber tonight, after your husband retires." His other glove traced the arc of her breast. "I look forward to how we will become reacquainted."
"No."
"That was not a request." He jerked off her hair covering, seized her hair in his fist, and used it to drag her up against him. "You will come to me, Ana, and you will do exactly as I say. Otherwise, your husband will have to be made aware of many things." His hand closed cruel and tight over her breast. "I think I will start with from where you come."
Viviana drew her dagger and pressed it against his ribs. "If you wish me to keep my silence, you stay away from me and mine."
"Or what?" The tip of her blade pierced his tunic and pricked his flesh, but he didn't flinch. "You will expose me? You cannot do that, my love. Not if you wish to go on living. Old memories being what they are."
She knew that if she gave in to his demands, he would take everything from her anyway. "Test me and find out, my lord."
He put his mouth on her cheek, cupped her hand with his, and pushed it against his body, inhaling deeply as the tip of the copper cut through his side. "There, the angle is better. One thrust and you will have my heart. You did covet it once, I think." He held her in place as she jerked. "Don't be timid, Ana," he whispered, his cool breath caressing her ear. "You've held my fate in your hands before this. You've always done the right thing."
Her hand went numb, and distantly she heard her dagger clatter on the stone floor.
Nottingham lowered his head, kissing her stiff lips before he smiled against them and stepped back. "Tonight, in my chambers." He replaced her headrail and arranged the veils around her face. "Wear your hair down for me."
Viviana closed her eyes, and kept them shut until she heard the latch fall. She looked at the cording, which during the struggle had fallen to the floor. Her hands had torn and shredded it beyond repair.
Chapter 11
Jayr rose early and met Alexandra Keller in the infirmary the next afternoon for her examination. The doctor watched without comment as Jayr lowered the blinds and secured the door.
Jayr faced her. "What should I do first, my lady?"
"Stop calling me 'my lady.'" Alexandra smiled. "It's Alex. So, why am I giving you a physical? Something bothering you?"
"My body is not as it should be."
The doctor nodded. "Right. When did you begin identifying as a male?"
Jayr gave her a perplexed look. "I do not know what you mean. I am a female. I cannot identify as anything else."
"Oops. Language blip. Sorry." Alex thought for a minute. "Let me take a stab at this. You don't look very female. You want to know why, and if I can do anything to… make you look more feminine?"
"Yes." Jayr felt relieved. "Exactly." Her gaze skittered to Alex's medical case. "I have never been examined by a modem physician."
"It's much nicer now," Alexandra promised. "We don't cut open veins to let the bad blood drip out or dose you with cow urine. And there is absolutely, positively no application of poultices made with manure on any part of your body. I do charge a fee, though."
Jayr frowned. "You wish me to pay you?"
"I'm working up a database of hematological profiles on the Darkyn," Alexandra said. "My fee for the physical will be a couple of vials of your blood."
That seemed reasonable to Jayr. "Why are you creating this database?"
"Once I have enough samples, I can start working toward a cure for us," the doctor told her. "With a lot of work and luck, I think I may be able to reverse the condition that caused and sustains the Kyn mutation."
"Indeed." The possibility of becoming human again intrigued Jayr, although she doubted most Kyn would feel the same. "If I were turned back to human, would I begin aging?"
"I won't know until I actually find a cure, but since all humans except Cher age, that's pretty much a given." Alex picked up a blank chart. "Why don't you sit down, and I'll start asking you some terribly personal questions?"
Jayr gingerly lowered herself into the chair Alex indicated.
"We'll kick off things with the family history first," the doctor said. "Where and when were you born?"
"I was born in Scotland sometime during the year of our Lord twelve ninety-seven," Jayr said. "My parents abandoned me in a church when I was but an infant. My benefactor sent me from there to a convent in London."
"Your benefactor?"
"A local squire or lord, I presume. He paid for the sisters to take me in and educate me. I was never told his name." She felt wistful. "I tried once to find out, but there were no records."
Alex began writing on the top page of the chart. "So much for family medical history."
"I do have this." Jayr removed the worn gold ring from her hand and held it out. "It was left with me."
Alexandra turned it over and held it up to the light to look at the inside. "J… A… Y… ryan."
"It is a betrothal ring," Jayr told her. "The sisters used the first four letters to name me."
"Very pretty." She handed the ring back to her. "You think your family name could be Ryan?"
"I had hoped it was my father's name."
Alex nodded. "So you grew up in a convent. That must have been a barrel of laughs." When Jayr didn't know how to respond, she added, "Sorry. I went to Catholic school. I'm still recovering from ruler phobia. How did you like hanging out with the sisterhood?"
"We had a hard life, but a good one. So many people with families died of plague and famine anyway. As an orphan, I was incredibly fortunate to have a place and the power of the church to protect me." Jayr shrugged. "I did not appreciate it then, I fear. Our abbess wished me to take vows and join the order, but I felt no calling. When she pressed the issue, I ran away and went back to Scotland to search for my family."
"When did you become infected?" At her blank look, Alex added, "Uh, cursed?"
"Thirteen fourteen. The year I ran away."
"You've been around for a while." Alex noted something else on the chart. "Was Aedan the one who turned you?"
Jayr nodded.
Alex propped her hip against the edge of a gurney. "Tell me how it happened."
"We were at Bannockburn. I came upon him after he had fallen into a pit trap. I was too small and weak to pull him out. I climbed in and tried to help him out, but he was dying." She paused, her brows drawing together as she thought. "What happened after that is not clear in my memory, but I believe that was when I gave him my blood."
Alex gave her a sharp look. "Voluntarily?"
"It was not because of l'attrait," she told her dryly. "My lord Byrne lay covered in mud and muck, impaled on a wooden stake through his chest, and partially trampled by his horse. He hardly had the strength to lift his head."
"No pheromone inducement, check." Alex eyed Jayr's torso. "How old were you at the time of transition?"
"Seventeen." She saw Alex's reaction. "I am not lying."
"I didn't say that you were, although your body is telling me a different story." Alex got off the gurney and pulled on a pair of latex gloves. "Now you get to take off your clothes and let me see you naked; then you'll lie down and let me do the really embarrassing stuff."