And larger.
I couldn’t imagine why. It wasn’t from anything that had happened on the Surface. He came back this way. What had happened in the Tunnels?
I shook my head at how many more unanswered questions we’d probably have. At least now we had time to figure it out. Grabbing a washcloth, a towel, soap, and a bowl of hot water, I hurried back into the room. His eyes were still closed. I sat on the edge of the bed, dipped the cloth into the water, and started with his forehead. After a few scrubs his features were visible.
“Hi, you,” I said.
He smiled. “Hi.”
“I still can’t believe you’re here. Yesterday I was convinced nothing would ever be right again. But here you are.”
“What happened yesterday?”
I shook my head, hesitant to tell him about Mrs. Jenkins’s horrifying death. “Nothing we need to get into right now. But there is one pressing matter.”
“What’s that?”
“Your mom. She hired a detective to track you down. You have to see her. Let her know you’re okay.”
“We’ll go together.”
I thought about my last encounter with his mom. At Jack’s graduation. It seemed so long ago, but the memory would be fresh in her mind. “You should probably go alone. I think she’d rather see you … without me.”
“I’m not leaving you.”
“I promise, it would be better—”
He grabbed my hand, so fast I could hardly see the movement. “I’m. Not. Leaving. You.”
I winced. “Okay. Just … let up a bit.” I started to pull his fingers away from my hand so the circulation could return.
“Sorry, Becks.”
I smiled. “Like I said. You’re bigger now.”
I called Will and told him to make sure his mom was home. I wouldn’t tell him anything else, except to say I’d be right over.
Once we were out front, Jack started toward his family’s door, and I leaned against my car.
“C’mon, Becks.”
He held out his hand to me. I shook my head. “Your family deserves this moment. Alone. Please trust me. I’ll be right here.”
He looked unsure, but he knocked anyway. The door swung open, and then Will was tackling his little brother. Jack was always taller, but now he seemed to have at least half a foot on Will.
Mrs. Caputo came onto the front porch and embraced her lost son, tears streaming down her face.
Will raised his hand to me, and I waved back. The three of them stood in a circle, their arms linked with one another’s. The scene was incredibly tender. I didn’t know what Jack would tell his mom about where he’d been. That was up to him.
I walked down the street and around the corner. They deserved this time together without me there.
I wound through the neighborhoods, contemplating the events of the past two days. How had it happened? How had it worked out like this?
Yesterday I had thought my world was splitting at the seams. But now … Yes, Mrs. Jenkins was still dead. But I didn’t have anything to do with that. Maybe she was dead because of her association with the Daughters of Persephone. But that wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t a threat to the queen. I was human, and I wasn’t going back to the Everneath anytime soon.
And what about Cole? Where did he go? Had he planned this?
If he had, then where was he? Did he know how it had all turned out? No. If he did, he would’ve been back in my room, gloating over how much he had sacrificed for me and demanding some sort of payback.
Wouldn’t he?
What if his absence was a sign of something more sinister? The last time I saw him was in the Tunnels. Not the friendliest environment. What if something had happened to him after I’d left?
There were too many questions. But only one answer I cared about right now. Jack was back. And I would never let him go again.
When I rounded the final corner heading to the Caputo home, Jack came loping toward me. His sunglasses were perched on his nose. His old Giants T-shirt stretched tight across his chest.
He threw his arms around me and picked me up in a tight embrace. “You said you’d stay right there.”
My feet were dangling in the air. I buried my face against his neck. His hair was damp. “You showered.”
He kissed my neck. “I had to get rid of the ashy smell.”
“What did you tell your mom?”
He set me down and frowned. “I told her I’ve been away. It was hard to explain, so I didn’t even try. I have no idea what to say that will … satisfy her.”
I brushed his hair off his forehead. “I know exactly what you mean.”
“Where do we go now?”
We walked toward my car. “There’s someone else we need to see right away.”
Jules was sitting on her bar stool next to the Scentsy candle shop in the center of the walkway at the mall. When she saw Jack, her face broke out in a giant smile, and then she burst into tears.
I stood back so Jack could be with her, but Jules grabbed my hand and pulled me close. And then the three of us were hugging. And crying.
THIRTY-FOUR
NOW
The Surface. My bedroom.
That night, after a visit with my dad and then dinner with his own family, Jack sneaked into my room, although I don’t know how much sneaking was involved. There was no way his mother thought he wouldn’t.
We were on our sides on my bed, facing each other, as we had done every night. Only now we could touch. Hand to hand. Palm to palm. Skin to skin. I couldn’t get over him.
“How did you find your way out?” I asked. “Once you were free of the Tunnels. Where did you land?”
“It’s all a blur, really. I was so out of it. It’s like I was slingshotted out from the Tunnels, and then I ended up on the floor of the Shop-n-Go.”
He shook his head as if it all sounded so ludicrous.
“That’s the weak spot,” I said. “Between the Everneath and the Surface.”
He stroked my hair. “It was late at night. I couldn’t open my eyes. I could barely walk. I didn’t know where I was going; I only knew I had to find you.”
I smiled. “You found me.”
He kissed my head. “I found you.”
I nestled in closer to him. He smelled like Jack, and I breathed in deeply. I looked at his face again, traced the lines again.
I touched his eyebrow. The steel post that had been there was gone, and in its place was a gash. It must’ve been ripped out at some point.
He brushed some hair out of my eyes. “How did you do it, Becks? How did you find me?”
I grimaced. “It’s a really long story. Cole helped me. He transported me there. Helped me the whole way.” I thought about explaining the tether from my heart to his, but that was a story for another time.
“Cole helped you?”
I nodded, wincing as I remembered the strange, confusing ending to our journey.
“What is it?” he asked.
“It doesn’t matter. You’re here.”
“I’m here.”
“That’s all that matters.”
He brought my face up to meet his and then easily pulled me so I was on top of him. We were kissing again. But we were both exhausted.
The entire night was spent kissing and dozing and kissing some more. I couldn’t imagine anything better.
I woke up with a start and a gasp. I wiped my forehead. It was dripping with sweat. What had woken me?
It was just a nightmare, I told myself. Just a nightmare.
But something wasn’t right. I glanced down at Jack next to me. He was sleeping peacefully, snoring a little. I sighed. As long as he was here, I could take anything.
I looked around the room, trying to find the source of whatever had changed. But I couldn’t see anything. Everything seemed the same.
I tried to lie back down, but before I knew it I was up and wandering the room. My breath came out in shallow puffs. I put my hand on my chest in an effort to calm my breathing, but it didn’t feel right. Was I still dreaming?
I heard a scrape at my window. Someone was opening it. I moved to wake up Jack, but before I could, Cole came through. Dove in, more like. But quietly, and agilely, like a cat.
We locked eyes, my hand still over my heart.
At first I felt relief at seeing his face, before anger took over. “What the hell happened back there? You kicked me!” Then I took a few deep, calming breaths, and in a complete turnaround, I threw my arms around him. “Where have you been?”
Cole hugged me back, but his arms felt stiff; his back went rigid. I released him and looked at his face. “What’s wrong?”
He smiled. “Nothing. I’m good. I’ll explain it all.” His voice drifted off as his eyes darted around my room. “First, I need you to tell me if there’s anything strange about your room. Anything here that wasn’t here before.”
I frowned and shook my head. “What are you talking about?”
He grabbed my shoulders. “It’s important, Nik. Look around and tell me if there’s anything out of place. Any new object that you don’t recognize.”
His eyes were wild.
“You’re scaring me,” I said.
“Everything will be okay once you find it.”
Apprehensive, I looked all around for whatever he was talking about, frantically searching every surface for something foreign. The darkness made it difficult to see, but even so I thought everything seemed fine. But when my gaze got to my desk, I froze. There, next to my laptop, was a small gold object about the size of a pocket watch. I’d never seen it before.
Cole followed my gaze.
He held up his hand, warning me not to move.
“What’s going on?” I whispered.
“I’ll explain,” he said, his hand still up. He was creeping sideways, toward the desk. “Just give me … a … minute.…” He snatched the object as if it were a mouse about to run away.
Once he had it in his hands, the tension in his body disappeared. He opened it, checked out the contents, and then gave me a smile that could only be described as triumphant.
“Cole, please. Talk to me.” I don’t know why I was worried. I had Jack. We’d both made it out alive. “What’s wrong? It worked. We saved Jack.”
His eyebrows shot up. “What?”
He was surprised? “Look.” I pointed to my bed, where Jack was buried deep under the covers and sleeping soundlessly. His exhaustion was otherworldly, and I wasn’t worried that we would wake him.
Cole frowned. “How did he … ?”
“It was the token. The note. I’d left it in his hand.”
“But I told you to hang on to it.”
I shook my head in confusion. “Yes, but if I had, he wouldn’t be here.”
“How is he here?”
“He climbed out using the note. I know it sounds crazy, but …” Cole’s face told me the news was entirely unwelcome. “Wait. I thought you would know this. Why don’t you know this? What happened to you in the Tunnels?”
He gave me a look. “Nik, I never wanted to save Jack.”
“I know. But you helped me anyway. You were my hero.”
He shook his head. “I told you. There are no heroes.”
How could he believe that now? What loathing ran so deep inside him that would block out anything good? I stepped closer. “I don’t care what you think of yourself. I think you’re a hero.”
“Then you’re blind.”
I flinched. He seemed so unfeeling. So distant. I’d thought we were past the point where I had to convince him of his worth. I closed the distance between us and put my hands on either side of his face. “Tell me what’s going on.”
He sighed and leaned his head down toward me. “I don’t want to yet. I have this one moment … and only this one final moment … to enjoy how you see me. It’s in your eyes. I’ve done what I thought was impossible. I made you love me, but not in the way I needed. You love me as your friend.”
I nodded, still lost. “After what you’ve done, you are a friend.”
He leaned in, bringing his lips close to mine. Surprised, I pulled back and glanced at Jack to make sure he was still sleeping. “Cole, don’t,” I said.
Cole pressed his lips together. “Only ever a friend.”
“You know how it is,” I said, glancing at Jack again. “You know how it’s always been.”
“I know. That’s why I did what I did.” He released me and pulled away.
“Please tell me what you’re talking about.”
He took my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it briefly before pressing it against my own chest. “Feel,” he commanded.
I felt. Nothing. I felt nothing.
Where my heart should be, there was nothing. Blinking rapidly, my eyes darted around the room as if I’d misplaced something.
Cole backed up toward the window, and when he was at the farthest point away from me, he folded his arms.